Chairperson-Me?

PS, If I could have driven or had a direct bus route, I would have loved to have been a volunteer.

TopGunner

The same happened to a group I used to attend. I had to rely on being taken in a car by a neighbour who asked me if I would go with her for company, but when she became 85 she didn't want to go anymore and it was too far for me to get taxis and no bus route so I also stopped going.

The problem with some groups is that they are mainly widows in their 70's, (I was then in my late 70's) who go for company and then when the chairperson etc, wants to retire, they feel they are too old to want to start volunteering.

I found that the meetings I attended, also attached to a church, was at the other end of the city and unless you had a car or was on a direct bus route it was not posssible to get there unless someone took you which made it impossible to volunteer in case the person who took you could not go one day.

If I could drive or had a direct bus route I would have loved to have been a volunteer.

It is difficult I realise Calendargirl but if it is church relatined I take it you go to that church. I was asked to take over a Treasurer of my church maybe 22 years ago. I went to see what was what and said I would think about it and I prayed about whether I should or not. No before scoffers say I suppose God came down and said yay or nay or in a dream no I just felt very uncomfortable. It didn't fit right eventually the right man stepped forward (yes it was a man) and did it much better than I would have done. About six months or so later a lovely elderly lady I knew said to me you can use a computer we need someone desperately to take over editing the magazine. Obviously my 'fit' was the magazine although for the first few months I was tearing my hair out. No nearly 20 years later I'm wondering who will take over from me. So try a prayer, good luck whatever you decide.

SewnSew

Would it be possible to have a joint chair with someone else. making the load lighter?

The existing chair, the one who wants to retire, has asked (begged) me to share the job, working alongside her, but I have refused. There is no point as she hopes after a year I would then be willing to take it on, and I’m not. And no one else remotely keen to share as two ‘new’ chairs.

“Oh, Calendar, you would be so good at it”

“You would be perfect for the job”

“I’m not confident enough to stand up and run the meeting, but you are….”

All remarks that have been addressed to me by other members, but to no avail, I’m afraid.

Thank you for all your helpful suggestions, it is comforting to know it’s not just me in this position.

jd79

No, I don’t go to that church actually! I go to one in a nearby village which I attended for many years before I moved to my present home. But nearly all the existing members belong to that church.

nanna8

I’m about to become President of an organisation I am involved with for the third year running. No one else wants to do it and it will fold if we don’t have one. I think it is actually one of the easier jobs . The worst is Secretary followed by treasurer, speaking from experience. President just requires some public speaking and writing a few reports ,one per month. There are 80 odd people in that club but out of that 80 only about 7 or 8 of us are willing to do the hard yards and go on the committee. C’est la vie I suppose.

Yes to the secretary role, I used to be secretary to the parish council. My life wasn't my own and I was glad to pass it on to someone else.

I realised this problem 40 yrs ago when I set up a mother and toddler group. My son should have moved on to nursery but we stayed on as no one seemed to come forth to help out. Once I had to take the poor child ill in the back seat while I delivered the inflated balloons and gifts for the Santa Claus visit. He was too young to realise what was going on!

May it's time to modernise the clubs constitution and rules, and allow for job share role and also compulsory retirement and rotation. I know some people never like to stand down and give someone else a turn, but it often the idea of having to do the role for years on end that's putting people off volunteering to take on the positions..

Compulsory retirement and rotation sounds good in principle, but if no one else wants to step up…

The existing chair hasn’t hung on to the job grimly for years and refused to give it up, she would have been pleased to relinquish the role years ago, but …..

I have been WI secretary for the last 8 years, (also 3 years in the 1980's.) I have just given notice that I will stop in April and I will leave the committee as I know I would get drawn in if I stayed and take on lots of the tasks I have now. I joined the WI in 1976 and have been on the committee for 32 years (9 years treasurer) so I think I have done my bit and I will resent anyone trying to persuade me to carry on. I am also the secretary of the community choir and will try and give that up next year. My husband has Parkinsons and is heading towards dementia so he has to be my focus now. It is easy to get involved with these organisations but difficult to get others to take things on.

Calendergirl: like you, I spent years either allowing myself to be badgered into taking on things I did not really want to, or feeling guilty about refusing.

Finally, and I cannot now say, when exactly this happened, probably when I retired, I decided there was no point in shilly-shallying about this kind of thing.

Now, I simply ask myself, do I want to do this, or not. Then act accordingly.

You have said no to taking on the job and admit that you are just not committed enough to the group to want to take over,

Fine - so don't beat yourself up about it.

If you have not already done so, stop a minute and consider how badly you will miss this group if it folds. If the thought does not particularly bother you, then you have made the right decision.

We have spent years of our lives - most of the years we can reasonably expect to have, trying to do everything, wife, mother, dutiful daughter and niece, sister and aunt, housewife, taker-of-pets-to vet even although they were OUR pets, not MY pets, including that last dreaded trip and coming home to dig a much loved cat's grave, while our better half hid, not "being able to face it".

We have written reams of Christmas cards, letters of congratulation or condolence and had our strenuous working life to do perfectly too.

Surely we have reached the time of life, dare I say, the age? where we can decide on the basis of if we WANT to do this or that, whether we say "yes" gracefully, or "no" with a spurious air of regret?

Nobody is indispensable and people do step in when they are needed.
Our church group committee posts are only for 3 years. It's a triennium.
If someone stays on as chair forever it puts others off. Think of the Vicar of Dibbley!

Having said that, I was on a Scottish Arts Committee for 9 years, as exhibition organiser for 6 and chair for 3. Enough!

The younger generation have to be wooed to join in and several organisations have had to close.

Younger ones don't want to do the
same as their parents or grandparents.
They want to do their own thing which usually begins on Instagram or some other online platform.

grandtante

Yes, I have asked myself how I would feel if the group folded.

I said to the existing chair, “I would be sad to see it fold, but not sad enough to take the job on”.

I think this is very common in a lot of organisations- maybe it's always been like this?

I recently attended a local group which had become little more than a gossip shop for a few regulars. Whilst not wanting to fold they didn't make ny effort to give me anything to do, seeming to want to do everything themselves. I stopped going because I felt they just wanted to stay as they were, and that's ok but the group will fold.

I don't think I was put on this Earth to be responsible for all these things.

I found another group that was much more welcoming and is very clear in its aims and focus.

Let someone else do it, if they want and if not let it go.

I agree that the majority want to be entertained, have a pleasant time and go without a thought as to whom organised everything. ‘I’ve paid my subs and that is my contribution’, that is the norm.

Our gardening club had in its constitution a clause limiting committee membership to three years but can we get others on board, huh, not a chance. We have a big membership and very varied programme but little enthusiasm to be involved Why? It is not too time consumings or difficult and can be quite fun but after 11 years I have run out of ideas and steam. Sadly things do not just happen, someone has to put the work in. Perhaps if we let things slide, would others step in or just leave?

Calendargirl

grandtante

Yes, I have asked myself how I would feel if the group folded.

I said to the existing chair, “I would be sad to see it fold, but not sad enough to take the job on”.

Good for you!!

Yes, the feeling of sadness may be present, but it seems that like most organizations, others don't feel sad enough to volunteer.

If one of those who just shows up isn't willing to 'take up the torch', maybe the group has outlived its value.

It happens all the time - the reluctance to take on the mantle of group leader. The solution is easy - if no one is prepared to step up and do it then the group folds. Members have it in their own power to determine if that is the outcome they want.

Shelflife

I have done plenty of committees and chaired groups , but decided never again . I have done my job and in most cases it is a thankless task! My advice is stick to refreshments washing up and giving a vote of thanks. Do listen to your inner self and don't do it if you have reservations. If you say a definite ' no' people get the message and usually someone perhaps younger will step up. In the unlikely event the social group can no longer function that will be sad but not your fault - just be determined and brave!

This is how I feel. I've been on committees for much of my working life and now that I'm retired I simply don't want to do it. I'm happy to be a dogsbody for refreshments, cakes or whatever.
What does this group actually do Calendargirl, is it purely social or does it have another purpose?
Is the committe really necessary? If the members are all older then perhaps the whole thing is outdated and, as kittylester said earlier, perhaps this organisation has run it's course.

A year ago I became Secretary of a group but didn't quite realise how much was involved, more than I had imagined. At the same time, the Chair took the post reluctantly and she is moving so has given notice. Of 12 people on the committe there is a deathly silence when asked if anyone would like a role (they are mostly late 70's/early 80's), so not spring chickens but mostly fairly lively.

Younger people are not interested, even if we offered evening meetings, so the club could soon gently pass away. This would be a shame as we do help others.

How to recruit? Any ideas?

I think people are reluctant to step into roles because they lack confidence. People stay in roles far too long I'm a believer in maximum terms, succession planning and co-opting people to help with small things so committees don't get stale and insular. If there's insufficient people in a group to do that why does it continue to run? People have busy lives so committees and are for decision making not information giving, keep meetings short and with a purpose. Sadly so many committees are badly run with a few members who like the sound of their own voice but a decent chair makes a huge difference. If you can't find someone to take the chair, you can have a rotating chair so everyone takes responsibility.