When you got married did you save escape money ?

Oddly enough serendipity stepped in & provided my ‘ escape fund’
After I divorced my husband some 40 years ago I received an inheritance from my Maternal Grandmother who had passed away in the months before . It arrived by way of a cheques from NZ & I promptly deposited into my bank account .Some months later all hell broke loose as the bank sent my updated bank book to our ( joint address) the then householder was aware that a neighbour was friends with my ex sil & well the rest you can work out !
I actually should of made the biggest complaint as it was a very acrimonious divorce 🥲

The thought never crossed my mind. However, I have 2 friends who had them. One of them needed it and escaped a dreadful marriage. The other didn't need it and had a but of a nest egg when retirement came around.

That's hard heavenlyheath I sympathise with you.

My first husband was very mean so I always kept my own bank account. I continued into my second marriage so we both have personal accounts and a joint one.

I wish I had my first husband died at 34 then 10 years later I remarried he decided at the ripe age of 71 nearly 3 years ago now that he didn't want to be married and went off with half the money from the house left to me by my first husband. A bitter lesson learnt.

Yes very early on in my first marriage I realised that I should put something away with 2 young sons I owed it to them. Now the second marriage it never occurred to do this and after 35 years we are still together.

My salary continued to go into a building society account after I married and we only used it for big purchases. When I stopped work to look after DS the money sat there and soon became my running away money when I discovered husband's behaviour. Thank goodness it was there and he'd forgotten about it.

No never even considered it. From the day we got engaged we had a joint account. Never in 42 years has my DH questioned what I bought or how I spent our money. We have separate savings accounts now but that was a joint decision. We still include the money in each account when discussing our finances.

One of the best things my father ever told me was to always keep my own bank account and to try and save as much as I could...in the past, there were many times that I was only able to put a couple of pounds away but I'm so glad I did.
I've seen and heard of so many dreadful situations that would have been prevented if people did that!

No escape fund as such, but I have always had my own current account and savings account. We had a joint account for mortgage etc.

Yes, in a building society, and called it my “running away fund“…
But I also kept my sole account. DH worked in the bank where I had to keep my account. I must add that he was extremely generous and I never once thought of running away!

I kept my own bank account for years!

*Bluebelle

Just how it should be.

I wished I had heard of this before getting married the first time.
Learned my lesson 2nd marriage we both have separate accounts and in over 30 years have never argued over money.
Saying that my husband is a lovely man and would never do what my ex did.

Always had a joint bank account, totally trusted my OH.
I was wrong. I have advised my 4 children to always
have their own accounts and they do. They suffered
as I did when they were growing up.

My mother used to tell me to hide some money away, just in case.
I had a wonderful husband and my own bank account so it was never an issue.
When I was clearing my mother's house I found an envelope with money in under a rug in a bedroom. I guess that was her escape fund and she had forgotten about it.

lilacs45, to me not a huge thing at all and we both knew/know we keep our own bank and savings accounts so when my marriage broke down I was able to take care of myself and my son with no worries because I had readily available money. Then later with my long time partner we both worked until retirement age, raised family, bought a house etc and as long as the bills have been paid (we share) and never had debts I feel no need to know how much he has. We buy what we want when we want it, sometimes together and sometimes separate.

Before I married in the 70s my Mum advised me to keep aside what she referred to as “your own rainy day cash”

Did I take her advice? Oh how I wish I did. A few years later my exH moved to another life in another country and I was left penniless with a toddler and small baby. My parents had a long and happy marriage till Mum died just before their 60th anniversary. Her advice wasn’t based on her own experience but on her feelings about her soon to be son in law.

The saying love is blind and marriage is an eye opener was made for me!

Someone I knew was left in a dreadful state when her husband died. He knew he only had months to live but he didn’t prepare her for being alone.

She had no cheque book, no ready cash, no money of her own, just a big old house in the woods. Her two children had to bail her out for months just to keep her fed and pay her bills. I have resented his cruelness ever since. She crashed her car and died shortly afterwards. What a sad disaster.

I do my DH knows I have my own money in different accounts. If I wanted to buy the DGC something big like a piano I would use that money . I also feel that in my DH was to die before me it would be cash reay to use if required. It just gives a bit of security I think . I wish I could stop thinking it is good to keep saving . At our ages we should not be bothered but I have saved all my life. It is sad when you get to an age where your need for money for expensive holidays etc. are behind you .

To me, it's the equivalent of keeping a £20 note somewhere amongst all the cards and apps.
A spare pair of knickers in a pocket of your bag, that kind of thing.

I expect half the men know about their partners secret fund, anyway.

NonGrannyMoll

I wish I had done that. Although we were In Lurve when we married, things went downhill over the next 20 years (let's just say that he didn't turn out to be Prince Charming). I did leave him in the end, basically with my books, clothes, a few bits of personal stuff and the money in my purse at the time. I lived in a dreadful bedsit with no heating or cooking facilities. I ate cold sandwiches for my dinner and slept in my woolly hat and winter coat. The only loan I could get went on a dismal little car which ran on a motorbike engine and thus didn't go up hills - had to take a very circuitous route to work every day! 20 years-worth of savings would have come in very handy, so I would say this to a newly-wed (male or female): You may think it can't possibly go wrong, but just maybe it might, especially nowadays when marriage seems so meaningless to many people. If it doesn't go wrong, you'll have a nice little rainy-day fund to celebrate your golden wedding anniversary with! It's win-win if you save money, whether your spouse knows about it or not.

I agree with that my aunt & uncle divorced at 70 after 40 odd years together, luckily she had her out of town account to help her out, although it did all go on rent 😩

I started saving in my sole account when it became clear my first marriage couldn't be saved. By the time I moved out, I’d just enough to set up
I married for the 2bd time 3 years later. We had 42 very happy years together and I never felt the need to plan a great escape. We had a joint account for domestic bills and individual accounts. I kept an amount in that account for emergencies. If mr I had ever behaved like husband one did - I’d have been gone.
I’ve advised my daughters to always have £500 stashed away. Luckily they’ve not needed it but several friends have

Yes, you could help a friend out with joint money, but my friends haven't necessarily been partners friends.
The may prefer some discretion, and in some cases the fewer people who know, the better.

Not a running away fund but my father told me everyone should have an emergency fund.