When you got married did you save escape money ?

I worked with a girl who told me she had a ‘running away fund’ I was horrified being in a good marriage. However we do have savings for our retirement and I’ve done this a surprise my husband does know about it and he just laughs not w@noting to know wether we van go to the lakes or
Maldives’s in retirement!😂😂

MissAdventure

Escape funds can be used to help friends out, who find themselves in difficult, skint, circumstances, too.

You ccan help friends with joint money, no?

Smileless2012

No I didn't have escape money and thankfully have never wished I had.

No I never had an escape fund, tho my own bank account.
When we divorced it was done reasonably amicably and any money and goods split evenly between us.
Running away money sounds a bit of an old fashioned idea.

Escape funds can be used to help friends out, who find themselves in difficult, skint, circumstances, too.

My gran told me a girl should always have a little money of her own which I do but not as a running away fund.

If I thought an escape fund was necessary, I would not have married.

My in-laws divorced after 30 years of marriage.
During the process it came to light that she had five bank accounts he knew nothing about 😬

I never even thought about it. We got married on a Friday and we had 2p. to last until pay day on the following Tuesday. I wouldn't have got far with that!
In the early years of our marriage, we lived hand to mouth, a 15% mortgage made sure of that.
All our bank accounts are joint ones, always have been.

None of my accounts are secret. Nothing behind DHs back.

MissAdventure that’s how I see it.

DH and are content as we are today, but life doesn’t come with guarantees and that is what my Gran installed into me.

I see it as much the same thinking as "I'd never have a stroke, I'm healthy, fit, low cholesterol..."
"I'd never be scammed, I'm smart, tech savvy, happy alone..."

We just need life to fall into the same mindset, and for some, it doesn't.
Neither do partners, always.

I thought like you did Lilacs45, shows how mistakenly trusting we are.

jusnoneed

I have always had my own bank/savings accounts, so always had my own money available for anything. My first hubby and 1 always kept our money separate, and my partner of the last 44 years the same and neither of us knows what the other has.

What?? That’s such a huge thing to keep secret in a marriage. To me marriage is about open communication and transparency

Bridie22

Lilacs45...do you consider 39 years of marriage long enough to know somebody?... I did, and I was wrong.

I do and my husband and I are extremely close and have a very open and honest relationship

I have always had my own bank/savings accounts, so always had my own money available for anything. My first hubby and 1 always kept our money separate, and my partner of the last 44 years the same and neither of us knows what the other has.

Lilacs45...do you consider 39 years of marriage long enough to know somebody?... I did, and I was wrong.

Neither my account or DH’s is a secret, I just do not feel the need to know how much he has, if he asks me I would tell him.

We have a joint account for all household expenses, as well as several joint credit cards.

It is important to have your own credit score, especially as we age as unfortunately we never know what is round the corner.

Never.

Bridie22

One can never be 100% certain you know somebody fully.

I think after living and sharing a life with someone for many years you should

No ‘escape’ fund, but I’ve always had my own cards and accounts plus a jointone for household expenses since I was 19.

One can never be 100% certain you know somebody fully.

Many years ago, I joined a forum for people from my country of origin who lived abroad.

A few of the ladies confessed to having a secret fund. They were housewives with no income of their own. I was surprised and asked them ‘Don’t your trust your husbands?

Now that I am older, hopefully wiser and no longer believes that ‘Love conquers all’, I think that is a very smart move.

With 40% of marriages ending in divorces nowadays, every woman should set up a running away fund. More so, if you are not married.

It really never occurred to me but DiL is a financial adviser and says all women should have an escape fund.

lilacs45

I can’t even tell you the level of hurt I would feel if I found out my husband had an account behind my back that I didn’t know about just in case we divorce and hoarded money that could be used for me out our children. We are married it should all be family money as far as I’m concerned. And it would show how little faith he had in our sacred union that we made together when we stood up in front of a hundred people and made our vows.

Call me old fashioned but that’s how I feel and I can’t be convinced otherwise. We were each others first love and have dated 9 years though before we got married so everything we built I feel we built together so I guess in my mind I would feel like we built and grew together why should he consider it just “his” money? That would be weird to me.

Now if we met long after we were both established in our lives or we had kids from previous relationships I may feel differently but as our relationship stands now and how it formed I would feel very very hurt and betrayed.

If someone had suggested this to my husband I would feel hurt and offended and probably have nothing to do with that person.

So those are my thoughts and opinions on how I feel about that!

Also want to add that we have been together since our very early 20s so way before we were established in our big boy and big girl careers so to speak.

So if I found out he his secret money from me when we were seriously dating I would be very hurt and feel betrayed. But I know my husband like the back of my hand and I know he would never pull a stunt like this.

I can’t even tell you the level of hurt I would feel if I found out my husband had an account behind my back that I didn’t know about just in case we divorce and hoarded money that could be used for me out our children. We are married it should all be family money as far as I’m concerned. And it would show how little faith he had in our sacred union that we made together when we stood up in front of a hundred people and made our vows.

Call me old fashioned but that’s how I feel and I can’t be convinced otherwise. We were each others first love and have dated 9 years though before we got married so everything we built I feel we built together so I guess in my mind I would feel like we built and grew together why should he consider it just “his” money? That would be weird to me.

Now if we met long after we were both established in our lives or we had kids from previous relationships I may feel differently but as our relationship stands now and how it formed I would feel very very hurt and betrayed.

If someone had suggested this to my husband I would feel hurt and offended and probably have nothing to do with that person.

So those are my thoughts and opinions on how I feel about that!