What did I do wrong?

Glad you've got it sorted. Your son was paying for you (and everyone else) to have a relaxing break and a 5 year old in tow would be far from conducive to that. He also didn't see why he should pay for his brother to have a break from his own child. Not everyone is thrilled to have little children tagging along and it would've completely changed every aspect of the holiday. Sorry but I would've been pretty put out if my mum had asked the same question.

crazyH

Ohmother - I had a similar issue, not so long ago. I was invited to my youngest son’s house and because I wanted to have a drink, I asked my 21 year old grandson to drop me off. Ofcourse, he just came in. He wanted to see his little cousins. So, they were forced to ask him to stay for dinner. The next day my son rang me and told me off. I now know I was wrong. I could have taken a taxi. My house is open house, so I think everyone else’s house is ‘open’ too. I certainly overstepped the mark.

I think your grandson is the one who inadvertently over-stepped the mark, not you, crazyH. You asked him to "drop you off". That's not what he did.

I also think your youngest son over-stepped the mark of hospitality by complaining to you about his nephew.

Ohmother

OK all. I have already organised a trip for the 5 year old in the new year. I have apologised to my son. Thanks for your input. Xxx. Happy New Year all.

Don’t feel guilty about it, you asked and he showed you that it wasn’t what he wanted.Nothing wrong with you asking.
Enjoy the trip anyway😃

Ohmother - I had a similar issue, not so long ago. I was invited to my youngest son’s house and because I wanted to have a drink, I asked my 21 year old grandson to drop me off. Ofcourse, he just came in. He wanted to see his little cousins. So, they were forced to ask him to stay for dinner. The next day my son rang me and told me off. I now know I was wrong. I could have taken a taxi. My house is open house, so I think everyone else’s house is ‘open’ too. I certainly overstepped the mark.

Pleased for you that is has been sorted.

you should not have asked! it was a cheek

Yes, you certainly overstepped the mark. This was something your son arranged for you , he and his in-laws, not an outing to include your grandson to give his brother a break.

Sounds like the best solution Ohmother. Enjoy your trip.

Ohmother

OK all. I have already organised a trip for the 5 year old in the new year. I have apologised to my son. Thanks for your input. Xxx. Happy New Year all.

Have a lovely time!

Maybe he wanted your full attention.
You were in the wrong asking if a child
not his can come along.

OK all. I have already organised a trip for the 5 year old in the new year. I have apologised to my son. Thanks for your input. Xxx. Happy New Year all.

It’s a common mistake to think that everyone would love to spend time with your grandchild 😬

He hasn't over reacted. A young child would change the dynamic of the whole trip.

You pretty much said spending time with your grandson in more important than spending time with him.

Given his reaction I expect that’s how he feels most of the time. This was the last straw.🙁

I think, like many on here that you were wrong. If I were you, I would apologise profusely, tell him you got it wrong and hope he still wants to take you.

Agree with everyone else the group dynamic and the activities, meals out etc that six adults can do will have to be seriously reconsidered if there is a five year old child to take into account.
That's not the trip that your son has planned, organised, booked and paid for.

Go and enjoy this trip, plan another child-friendly one at another time to give your other son a break.
Apologise to the son in the original post, saying he's right and you hadn't thought it through.
He might be feeling that you don't value their company as they don't have a child?
Show them that you do 😊

I can understand why he’s annoyed I’d feel the same .
I don’t understand why you would even consider taking children along that wasn’t in the idea and you are thinking he has over reacted . It was a lovely gesture from him

I agree with others....its not fair to piggyback another favour on to a treat that's been made at your son's expense. Enjoy it for what it is!

Your son gave you a present and you pretty much said it's not good enough by asking for something else as well.

That's a lovely gesture and I don't understand why you'd want to take two very young children who hadn't been invited with you.

Your son obviously have nice evenings planned for you and his in-laws and having tired children around will change the dynamic entirely.

I wouldn't have even thought of taking them.
Perhaps you can have the two little ones another time and take them out somewhere more suitable for children.

He was doing something nice for you and in return you wanted to do something nice for his brother. i can understand why he is annoyed.

I agree with others.

Sounds like an ‘adult only’ trip, and if I were the other in laws, would not be pleased about children being included,

I think you have overstepped the mark a bit, if I'm honest. He obviously wants an adult only break and by wanting to take young children you have in effect thrown his generous offer back in his face. He is generously paying for you, be very grateful, apologise and say you understand and look forward to seeing him without the children.

Having a five year old tagging along will certainly change the dynamics of the trip. If your son is paying for the trip I would imagine he wants you to spend time with him and his in-laws and looking after your young grandson would change your priority.
I personally think you should forget your grandson, concentrate on your son who is taking you away and arrange something with your grandson at a later date.

He might feel that he wouldn't be able to talk to you properly if you were having to look after two small children. Presumably he invited you because he wanted your company, not to entertain youngsters. I would feel the same as him to be honest.