What did I do wrong?

Sibling rivalry. He doesn’t want anything to do with his brother to impact on his plans. He wants your full attention and I think I’d feel the same if I were him.

If one of my AC paid for such lovely accommodation for us I certainly would not be volunteering to take a child along.

You son wants to do something nice for YOU not give his sibling a break.

Perhaps he wanted to spend time with you and your DH, without you having to look after a five year old.

He might feel that he wouldn't be able to talk to you properly if you were having to look after two small children. Presumably he invited you because he wanted your company, not to entertain youngsters. I would feel the same as him to be honest.

Having a five year old tagging along will certainly change the dynamics of the trip. If your son is paying for the trip I would imagine he wants you to spend time with him and his in-laws and looking after your young grandson would change your priority.
I personally think you should forget your grandson, concentrate on your son who is taking you away and arrange something with your grandson at a later date.

I think you have overstepped the mark a bit, if I'm honest. He obviously wants an adult only break and by wanting to take young children you have in effect thrown his generous offer back in his face. He is generously paying for you, be very grateful, apologise and say you understand and look forward to seeing him without the children.

I agree with others.

Sounds like an ‘adult only’ trip, and if I were the other in laws, would not be pleased about children being included,

He was doing something nice for you and in return you wanted to do something nice for his brother. i can understand why he is annoyed.

That's a lovely gesture and I don't understand why you'd want to take two very young children who hadn't been invited with you.

Your son obviously have nice evenings planned for you and his in-laws and having tired children around will change the dynamic entirely.

I wouldn't have even thought of taking them.
Perhaps you can have the two little ones another time and take them out somewhere more suitable for children.

Your son gave you a present and you pretty much said it's not good enough by asking for something else as well.

I agree with others....its not fair to piggyback another favour on to a treat that's been made at your son's expense. Enjoy it for what it is!

I can understand why he’s annoyed I’d feel the same .
I don’t understand why you would even consider taking children along that wasn’t in the idea and you are thinking he has over reacted . It was a lovely gesture from him

Agree with everyone else the group dynamic and the activities, meals out etc that six adults can do will have to be seriously reconsidered if there is a five year old child to take into account.
That's not the trip that your son has planned, organised, booked and paid for.

Go and enjoy this trip, plan another child-friendly one at another time to give your other son a break.
Apologise to the son in the original post, saying he's right and you hadn't thought it through.
He might be feeling that you don't value their company as they don't have a child?
Show them that you do 😊

I think, like many on here that you were wrong. If I were you, I would apologise profusely, tell him you got it wrong and hope he still wants to take you.

You pretty much said spending time with your grandson in more important than spending time with him.

Given his reaction I expect that’s how he feels most of the time. This was the last straw.🙁

He hasn't over reacted. A young child would change the dynamic of the whole trip.

It’s a common mistake to think that everyone would love to spend time with your grandchild 😬

OK all. I have already organised a trip for the 5 year old in the new year. I have apologised to my son. Thanks for your input. Xxx. Happy New Year all.

Maybe he wanted your full attention.
You were in the wrong asking if a child
not his can come along.

Ohmother

OK all. I have already organised a trip for the 5 year old in the new year. I have apologised to my son. Thanks for your input. Xxx. Happy New Year all.

Have a lovely time!

Sounds like the best solution Ohmother. Enjoy your trip.

Yes, you certainly overstepped the mark. This was something your son arranged for you , he and his in-laws, not an outing to include your grandson to give his brother a break.

you should not have asked! it was a cheek

Pleased for you that is has been sorted.