Re-stuffing

kittylester

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

Good Day Sunshine 🎼

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

I have felt like that a few times in my life Kate. I have been left on my own on three occasions where I didn't see a way forward. Take time to clear your mind and where you go from here, I used to go for long walks I took in nature and it calmed me down. Sometimes we can’t fix things, accept things we cannot alter. I will think of you and hope that soon you will feel
happiness creeping in. I have been down lately due to an accident, today the sun is out although cold, I will go a short walk as can’t walk far at present. Then cook a lovely lunch, Two weeks ago I couldn't have tried it but living alone I push myself.💐💓

Thinking of you 🌺
There are no quick fixes in life but be proud of yourself for putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with life despite how you feel.
This, like so much you have experienced so far, is transitory, keep your eye on the horizon where after the darkest hour the sun will rise.
You can do this
👍

When my first husband died I remember getting up each morning and trying to think of all the good things in my life (not being pollyanna lol)
Like living in lovely part of the country (at that time)
Children were doing well
I loved my job
No money worries
Spring flowers in garden (as mentioned)

Thinking of you, please don't feel u are alone xxxx

Sending sympathy, Kate1949. I looked for a new challenge when I needed something to take me forward (in my case a new part-time job). I've also found the quote below useful to remember each day:

"Every day may not be good… but there’s something good in every day”, Alice Morse Earle

Exactly what the others have said. I always say to myself - this will pass, I know that one day I will feel better, different maybe but better than now, until then take a day at a time.

Treat yourself. A new haircut, maybe some makeup even if you don’t normally wear it. Listen to cheerful music- jazz can be quite fun. Best of all, get out into nature. Have you any binoculars? Birdwatching is interesting. Don’t listen to the news. None of us can change the world. Small steps and you will get there. Big hug.

I found myself in a situation a few years ago where I felt really 'battered, bruised, and totally destroyed emotionally' so I can relate to your situation Kate. You have already had some perfectly lovely comments, all of which have struck a chord with me .
For me, it was more a case of coming to terms with the status quo rather than trying to revert to how things used to be.
Take life a day at a time and do try not to set unattainable goals as that can feel so overwhelming.
You are not alone Kate and you will get through this.

All of the above remembering “When robins appear, loved ones are near”
One more thought- you are YOU with or without the previous stuffing- it’s life’s knocks which make us what we are , so don’t look to being the “old” you , like a supermarket product, you can be the “improved version” -deeper, wiser, stronger.
Sending a huge hug from me too, I hope you find your three things a day and that the morning will come after what sounds like a long dark night of your soul

Accept a hug from me - well it might help!

I don't have much to offer in the way of advice. From my point of view volunteering and singing make me feel good.

I can't sing (my mum told me never to sing as I was tone deaf!) but DH bought me a course of singing lessons which lead to me joining a local Well Being choir. I love it! There are lots about so maybe give it a try.

And, I still can't sing but I don't worry about it now!

You need to be very kind to yourself, have a good long weep if you are feeling sorry for yourself (and need to) and then make yourself notice something positive on a regular basis.

Start trying to find 3 things a day - it doesn't matter how small

It might just be "not quite so difficult getting my socks on today" or noticing some spring bulbs poking out from the cold earth.

- A ray of sunshine
- The smell of a pleasant soap
- A kind word from a friend
- A nice cup of tea/coffee

Keep a lookout for some positives and I think slowly you will fill up again... I know my stuffing is quite leaky and it's frustrating to not be "me" and having to keep on being "nice" to myself - but I know I feel more "me" when I'm more positive - even if my body isn't working as it should.

Ask for help via your GP? In the meantime try to just live each moment and look for small joys - look for the early spring flowers, snowdrops, crocuses … listen for birdsong- my DH had a robin come down and sing just for him when he took a break from tidying up at the allotment!

I will, as the Quakers say, ‘hold you in the light’. I know you will get lots more messages of love and support on here 🕯️