Re-stuffing

Ask for help via your GP? In the meantime try to just live each moment and look for small joys - look for the early spring flowers, snowdrops, crocuses … listen for birdsong- my DH had a robin come down and sing just for him when he took a break from tidying up at the allotment!

I will, as the Quakers say, ‘hold you in the light’. I know you will get lots more messages of love and support on here 🕯️

You need to be very kind to yourself, have a good long weep if you are feeling sorry for yourself (and need to) and then make yourself notice something positive on a regular basis.

Start trying to find 3 things a day - it doesn't matter how small

It might just be "not quite so difficult getting my socks on today" or noticing some spring bulbs poking out from the cold earth.

- A ray of sunshine
- The smell of a pleasant soap
- A kind word from a friend
- A nice cup of tea/coffee

Keep a lookout for some positives and I think slowly you will fill up again... I know my stuffing is quite leaky and it's frustrating to not be "me" and having to keep on being "nice" to myself - but I know I feel more "me" when I'm more positive - even if my body isn't working as it should.

Accept a hug from me - well it might help!

I don't have much to offer in the way of advice. From my point of view volunteering and singing make me feel good.

I can't sing (my mum told me never to sing as I was tone deaf!) but DH bought me a course of singing lessons which lead to me joining a local Well Being choir. I love it! There are lots about so maybe give it a try.

And, I still can't sing but I don't worry about it now!

All of the above remembering “When robins appear, loved ones are near”
One more thought- you are YOU with or without the previous stuffing- it’s life’s knocks which make us what we are , so don’t look to being the “old” you , like a supermarket product, you can be the “improved version” -deeper, wiser, stronger.
Sending a huge hug from me too, I hope you find your three things a day and that the morning will come after what sounds like a long dark night of your soul

I found myself in a situation a few years ago where I felt really 'battered, bruised, and totally destroyed emotionally' so I can relate to your situation Kate. You have already had some perfectly lovely comments, all of which have struck a chord with me .
For me, it was more a case of coming to terms with the status quo rather than trying to revert to how things used to be.
Take life a day at a time and do try not to set unattainable goals as that can feel so overwhelming.
You are not alone Kate and you will get through this.

Treat yourself. A new haircut, maybe some makeup even if you don’t normally wear it. Listen to cheerful music- jazz can be quite fun. Best of all, get out into nature. Have you any binoculars? Birdwatching is interesting. Don’t listen to the news. None of us can change the world. Small steps and you will get there. Big hug.

Exactly what the others have said. I always say to myself - this will pass, I know that one day I will feel better, different maybe but better than now, until then take a day at a time.

Sending sympathy, Kate1949. I looked for a new challenge when I needed something to take me forward (in my case a new part-time job). I've also found the quote below useful to remember each day:

"Every day may not be good… but there’s something good in every day”, Alice Morse Earle

When my first husband died I remember getting up each morning and trying to think of all the good things in my life (not being pollyanna lol)
Like living in lovely part of the country (at that time)
Children were doing well
I loved my job
No money worries
Spring flowers in garden (as mentioned)

Thinking of you, please don't feel u are alone xxxx

Thinking of you 🌺
There are no quick fixes in life but be proud of yourself for putting one foot in front of the other and getting on with life despite how you feel.
This, like so much you have experienced so far, is transitory, keep your eye on the horizon where after the darkest hour the sun will rise.
You can do this
👍

I have felt like that a few times in my life Kate. I have been left on my own on three occasions where I didn't see a way forward. Take time to clear your mind and where you go from here, I used to go for long walks I took in nature and it calmed me down. Sometimes we can’t fix things, accept things we cannot alter. I will think of you and hope that soon you will feel
happiness creeping in. I have been down lately due to an accident, today the sun is out although cold, I will go a short walk as can’t walk far at present. Then cook a lovely lunch, Two weeks ago I couldn't have tried it but living alone I push myself.💐💓

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

kittylester

And, of course, listen to the Beatles!!

Good Day Sunshine 🎼

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way, Kate. I know that you have already been through many difficult times.
Lots of good advice here about treating yourself- whatever makes you feel better, but remember to keep posting. GNetters are here to listen.
I hope that things improve for you soon.

The following is now a cliche, but it is a cliche because it is so true
^God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

I do not know whether you have lost your stuffing after illness or after one of life's tragedies and disasters, but restuffing starts with putting small handfuls of stuffing into the small fiddly places and gradually getting to the point where you can put it in in bigger handfuls.

Lots of suggestions up thread, but I think the most important is to get out of the house everyday if you can. I do not know whether you live in a town, city or rural area, flat or house, but just get out into the fresh air. Sit in the garden (well wrapped), walk down the street to the corner shop, saying hallo to people as you go. If nothing else open a window wide and breath in deeply.

Then follow up any or all the ideas, other people have given you.

When Paw died I found comfort in this from a friend who said it had been a favourite saying of her mother’s

“When sadness comes, lean on gentle memories”

Thank you everyone. You are very kind. I know most of you have been through the mill - I was having a bit of a pity party last night! Life can be tough, but it's tough for most people.

Hug from me (( )). I agree with all the suggestions above. We’re all allowed a ‘pity party’ from time to time. I think it helps us reset.
Start with the getting out suggestions, maybe take a book or magazine and get a coffee in a small coffee shop. People usually chat to others in the small independent ones.
💐

Kate we all need a pity party sometimes.
🎉🥳🌞

I hope today is a bit brighter.

(((Hugs))) be kind to yourself, go at your pace 🌸

Some lovely people on here with very wise words which I hope will help you Kate.

Be kind and gentle with yourself.
I can't add anything other than to say I'm thinking of you and willing the sun to shine for you soon.

Thanks everyone. I know you all have many trouble

troubles.

Lots of lovely posts with good ideas.

One of the problems when you've been through the mill is your health suffers, so take care to get some exercise and eat well.

I've made it my job to do a patrol of the garden every morning, checking on what is flowering and doing a bit snipping here and there to tidy up. Not useful if you haven't got a garden but some flowering pots would do as well.

Here's hoping every day gets a little bit better