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Cleaner dilemma - what would you do?

(97 Posts)
ferry23 Tue 25-Mar-25 09:55:18

After a couple of false starts when I first moved to this property I found a nice cleaner who also cleans for my neighbours. We both have her once a fortnight so it works well for her.

She does a decent job, she's a nice young Mum and her little boy is 6 or 7 years old. She did say before I even hired her that she sometimes has problems with childcare in the holidays, but I thought I could live with that. The "sometimes" actually turned out to be all the time in school holidays and as luck would have it, every half term seems to coincide with my cleaning date. In fairness to her she has come to me on a Saturday morning a couple of times during longer holidays but that's not the most convenient for me.

She's also missed a clean because she had to take the dog to the vet and something else I can't remember.

I have chronic arthritis so I can't do the floors, change bed - a quick dust and wipe is about as much as I can mange these days.

I've just received a message from her saying she's got to cancel this week as her little boy has been admitted to hospital. Of course that's her priority and I wouldn't expect her to worry about anything else - we know these things can happen when you've got little ones.

Because of school holidays, illnesses, vets she's been to me 5 times since the clean before Christmas (18th Dec) and including this week she should have been 7 times plus I've got to now wait at least another 2 weeks before she comes again.

If I could manage I probably wouldn't be too concerned but it means my bed doesn't get changed for 4 weeks (or possibly longer) and even though it's only me the place definitely needs cleaning once a fortnight. If I could afford it I'd have someone weekly.

She's a lovely girl and when she's here she's very accommodating. I'm torn between putting up with a slightly grubby home and trying to find someone who hasn't got responsibilities that come before the job.

I really do not want these cleaning firms that pop up these days who send mostly young, inexperienced girls in whose main aim is to dash around in order to get to the next job. I've had way too many disasters - but trying to find an old fashioned "cleaning lady" is like trying to find a needle in a haystack these days.

What would you do?

Allira Thu 27-Mar-25 10:58:41

I think we are sympathetic to the cleaning woman who is trying to keep all her juggling balls in the air but also, if ferry23 is struggling too, she needs someone she can rely on to come and help her with those tasks she can't manage.

Perhaps the cleaning woman has a friend she could recommend who would come occasionally when she can't.

Often a local Facebok page is a good source of such information.

watertyger Thu 27-Mar-25 10:47:03

I think it's sad that no one seems to be sympathetic to the cleaning woman who seems to be juggling a lot of issues and doing her best, and is a nice person. Haven't we all been in her position, juggling family responsibilities and work?
Why not let those memories inform the way we treat young women?
The only way to be sure of not having these problems is to use a cleaning company and pay a lot more for the service.

SparklyGrandma Thu 27-Mar-25 09:46:14

I have a cleaner via a care agency. I’ve used an agency that solely employs cleaners before now.
They employed people who couldn’t actually clean, or didn’t like it.
The straw that broke the camels back was finding one of them going through my cupboards.

I’d keep her but ask what she could suggest on missing weeks when you can’t change your bed.

About paying cleaners - I prefer paying by BACS; an employer can be liable for the tax that isn’t paid, if you pay via cash. Just saying.

ferry23 Thu 27-Mar-25 08:39:52

I doubt the option of bringing the little one along would work - I know she works a full day so it would mean dragging him from one house to another - probably not very good for him and may not suit other people (plus he has special needs so may need a level of attention that just wouldn't be possible)

Barmeyoldbat Thu 27-Mar-25 07:41:43

I have a cleaner for the same reason as you, every two weeks for two hours but often has to cancel. I told her she was welcome to bring her daughter along during school holidays and it works really well. I enjoy doing jigsaws with her or she will help me prepare some cooking. Otherwise she just sits quietly amusing her self. Sometime I even take her up the road for a milkshake and cake. Try it

sazz1 Wed 26-Mar-25 22:57:39

My friend at work had a cleaner who put leaflets though several doors starting a business. First clean was great, but it went downhill after that. She told her she didn't need her anymore after 3 months.
Fast forward 6 months later she was going on her annual holiday birdwatching abroad. Her very expensive binoculars had disappeared out of a bedroom drawer. So had quite a few other things including jewelry. No proof as she often had friends staying over so nothing she could do.
I've had 2 cleaners. The first was OK but spent so much time telling me about all her troubles with her OH
The next was a new agency. First clean was good, second clean she forgot the stairs and broke my vacuum. Third clean was half done, kitchen not touched and left half an hour early. I gave up having cleaners.
I worked as relief live in carer self employed and insured. Most of my clients had experienced theft of meat from freezer, cash, jewelry, wine, new bedding, coffee, clothing, perfume, etc. Many now had Cctv in all rooms. Quite disgusting really as some were paralysed or bedridden.
I won't ever have another cleaner because of it. Make sure if you get a cleaner they have a DBS check and insurance.

Bluesmum Wed 26-Mar-25 22:34:56

I have an excellent young house mum do my cleaning once a fortnight. We are both flexible but try to stick within the original 2 hrs every other Tuesday morning arrangement, but hey, sometimes life gets in the way for bothme and her! She has two adorable young children, aged 6 and 4 and on the odd occasion she has had child minding problems, they have come with her and absolutely no problems at all, in fact, on one occasion, her children stayed with me for an hour as my neighbour, who she also used to clean for, would not have them in her house! She has never missed me out completely, and I don’t believe she ever would as she knows I rely on her and , she takes her duties seriously and gives excellent service. I know I am very lucky but it took quite a while to get here x

Mt61 Wed 26-Mar-25 22:00:36

Employ someone who has no children.

Whiff Wed 26-Mar-25 21:57:32

If I needed to hire a cleaner which I think I will sooner than later as finding it harder to do things . I would use a cleaning company. That way if your regular cleaner can't come then someone else will take their place .

Before I moved house and had the photos took I hired a cleaning firm.. 4 women came armed with bio hygienic cleaning products plus all their equipment even toothbrushes to clean the grouting . They took just over 2 hours and still remember it cost £192.29 but my house was spotless and I kept it like it until I moved. They cleaned places that hadn't been touched since my husband died because I couldn't reach.

Redrobin51 Wed 26-Mar-25 19:40:15

Awkward at the moment as of course her little lad has to be her priority. When I worked and had a cleaner she would bring her daughter with her during school holidays and it worked well as her daughter was really well behaved. As others have suggested you could have someone in to change your bed. Forums like Next-door Neighbour often have self employed cleaners who will do o e offs or just come and change a bed or do shopping. Someone you trust and get on with is worth their weight in Gold. I would see how she is whe her little boy recovers and make a decision then. My friend has a cleaner from a small company and she always has the same woman.Best of luck with it.

Nannan2 Wed 26-Mar-25 19:28:38

We have a 'company' who when first began over about 18mths, was 2 ladies who came to clean every fortnight, one upstairs, one down, and then other girl did downstairs loo when she had done upstairs bathroom & landing & steps.two of them got it done in about an hour& half- 2hours.But was very clean, so paid the full 2hour charge.All these months later, and often theres been let downs due to kids, but biggest problem is, the husband of one (brother of other) who co-owns the company with his wife) has been cleaning on his own for about a year now, as they changed my time to when they were doing some offices after me- (so in daytime wife cleans, or both? not sure, and his sister no longer helps them) and hubby takes over after school time.But hes not as good a cleaner as she is tbh, and often forgets to clean something, like upstairs loo, or in hallway.I dont know till later! But hes often rung by wife over the kids, or the business!)But im now in hosp and son is struggling, but they let him down a time or two & ive had to get in touch to rearrange another day.But they did one visit early,which was ok, but both cleaned.But husband cleaned on his own again and thing is he still charges the 2hour charge even when he does 1 hour on his own!He always has.Now we are starting to feel cheated really out of our 'extra' hour that im paying for.Theyre a nice couple, but a bit time- poor.but if theres ONE cleaner for ONE hour, surely i should pay them the one hourly fee?

Ziggy62 Wed 26-Mar-25 19:21:10

I'm a self employed cleaner (well I'm retiring on Friday). I'm insured and police checked (not all cleaners are)

I hurt my back at the beginning of November and didn't return to work until the beginning of January. Surprisingly all my customers waited until I was fit to return

I think if she's a good cleaner I would keep her, maybe ask if she can change days if child is ill etc

Renata1079 Wed 26-Mar-25 18:47:32

Age UK have a service where they can supply and vet cleaners. These are quite often (but not always) young mums with children! The disadvantage is that we have to pay something like between £150 and £175 per year, up front - which Age UK put towards pension contributions for their cleaners. After that, we pay our own cleaner their hourly rate direct. If I remember correctly, it was a reasonable rate. I don't know how much per hour it is now. Does anyone else know?

If we have a problem with any particular cleaner, Age UK can deal with it, so we don't have to - and can find us an alternative. I used this service when I was caring for my very ill husband and didn't the have time or energy to clean - but I did go back to managing my own cleaning after he died.

Now I am older, and once again in need of a bit of cleaning help, I might get back in touch with Age UK.

If we oldies are struggling with painful arthritic joints (and any other disabilities that limit us physically) - we do need reliable help.

CariadAgain Wed 26-Mar-25 18:46:36

Personally - I'd be keeping her just long enough to find a suitable replacement for her - ie someone reliable (as well as honest/good at job/etc).

I found agencies aren't necessarily the answer either. I had been so "delayed" in everything by things taking longer than normal in this area/dealing with neighbour issues/etc that I decided to employ an agency for a one-off high level clean to get the house to the standard it would have been without all the distractions. So I had an "up to date base" to work from myself subsequently.

Cue for three of them turned up - boss/his wife/their employee. I looked dubiously at the employee and wondered if she'd be fit enough to give a "springclean" to my shower (modern huge size one). Sure enough - it was, according to her, "impossible" to clean the bottom foot or so of the showerglass. Luckily it realised it was not "impossible" at all....it was just impossible for her because she was obviously fat and unfit. Cue for me having to go the boss and say "It IS possible...it has been done before...it needs doing again". He had to come in and take over that task from her - as I was obviously not going to believe a convenient lie. There was a couple of other bits too that were apparently "impossible" - oh no they weren't and I wasn't going to accept the job as finished until they were done properly - and they also did get done at that point.

Mmc123uk Wed 26-Mar-25 18:38:47

Caleo

Retain her services, definitely. I assume you pay her for hours actually worked?

Can you arrange with her to come to you as and when it is convenient for her, and at short notice? Raise her pay a little if you are worried she will defect to your neighbours.

Also ask around for a back-up cleaner who can come once or twice week .

💯 this, I have a bit of an ad-hoc cleaner but I completely trust her, so I'm happy keeping her. However I understand/appreciate the need for clean bedding so I think looking for qla back up that you could share with your neighbour is a good idea 😊

4allweknow Wed 26-Mar-25 18:27:32

Stick with her. If you can't find soeobe else who works for herself you will end up with an agency and have to probably pay a lot more. Also you like her, trust her and that counts for a lot.

ferry23 Wed 26-Mar-25 17:18:56

I don't believe this!

Second consecutive appointment my hairdresser has messaged me about a week beforehand and asked if I can change the time. I always book my next appointment when I leave. I go every 5 - 6 weeks.

Last time I did change it as it made no difference to me but this time I've said no, sorry, can't change this one.

It must be me confused

Esmay Wed 26-Mar-25 16:54:32

I went through this-I was constantly let down by a cleaner .
The lady was very nice -fun to talk to but it was absolutely hopeless .
Her children,pets ,sister ,mother were constantly needing her . There were many other excuses as well some unexpected visitors,phone not working....
I worked out that she'd appeared about once in four scheduled visits .
Then I found out that she had multiple jobs and appeared occasionally .
Most of us were sympathising and paying her .
We were being taken for a ride .

Allira Wed 26-Mar-25 16:47:40

I hope the litte boy makes a good recovery.

We've thought of having a cleaner or else having a deep clean every so often, especially after some recent renovations we had done.
However, thinking about it is as far as it's got although we're going to have to do something about it soon.

It's a dilemma, choose a firm which will send someone else if one can't come, employ someone you like and trust who needs the work - and who doesn't gossip as our neighbour's cleaner did.

Daisydaisydaisy Wed 26-Mar-25 16:39:06

It's such a shame However think keeping this lady defeats the object of having a cleaner ..Us she coming isn't She ?😢

ferry23 Wed 26-Mar-25 16:01:02

She's just messaged me to say her little boy has pneumonia, so it's not something trivial.

I worked most of my adult life and there were very few times I had time off due to childcare issues. I always tried to have a Plan B & a Plan C in place. In my mind you get paid to do a job and if you can't do it properly then don't do it. I do however think that a child being ambulanced to hospital - clearly very poorly is something you can't legislate for, that's the "family first" sort of time.

I am going to have a chat with her about the times that she can't come and explain that I can't go 4 weeks between cleans.

The reason I'm reluctant to go down the cleaning firm/agency route is that I've had two very bad experiences. Once I was let down two days before Christmas with the family coming to stay. No back-up sent, barely an apology. Another team of cleaners managed to break off the trim from a fairly new installed bathroom unit and it took months for it to be mended. They originally came and took a photo of the trim and said they would deal with it but they didn't - in the end I had to organise it myself and arrange for them to pay me for the new trim and the carpenter to come in and fit it.

lixy Wed 26-Mar-25 15:51:01

sorry- advice should read ad hoc!

lixy Wed 26-Mar-25 15:50:12

I’m in the stick with her and review in a month or so camp.

However we have had good experiences of companies coming to do a one-off clean after building work or to do a Spring clean. They don’t need a commitment to come every week but appreciate a bit of lead in time. When an aunt was ill a company cheerfully cleaned weekly and now are happy to fit in an advice clean with a week’s notice.

Whitewavemark fingers crossed!

Whitewavemark2 Wed 26-Mar-25 15:40:53

I have always employed a cleaner all my working life until I retired 20 years ago. I then thought that doing my own housework etc would help keep me active, and it did that, however the plan was that if I was still alive at 80 I would then re-employ a cleaner.

So that is next February - if I’m still here😊

I have already decided to employ a company, it is just deciding who etc. because previous experience tells me that inevitably if you employ a person acting independently, there will be weeks when they can’t turn up for whatever reason.

cc Wed 26-Mar-25 15:40:52

I use a flat top sheet under my duvet now (as well as the duvet cover) to keep it cleaner as I really hate changing the cover, though I can manage the pillow cases. If you use two pillows you could first turn one and then swap the bottom one for the top one the next time. I wondered if getting your cleaner to put an extra fitted sheet on the bed might work? Then you just need to pull off a fitted sheet and there's a clean(ish) one underneath.
Otherwise I'd suggest that you stick with your cleaner - maybe she could do shorter visits some weeks so that more of her employers get a visit?