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Neighbours

(21 Posts)
Gogo84 Tue 29-Apr-25 22:18:27

I live in a block of apartments where people of all ages live, and on the whole everyone is friendly. However the other day some neighbours were having a row which developed into the husband really shouting and the wife sounded terrified and was screaming. We didn't know what to do and asked other neighbours, good friends of ours for advice. Should we intervene or not. They advised against so we did nothing. We always thought that the husband was very controlling. Did we do the right thing?

Dee1012 Tue 29-Apr-25 22:26:28

While I'd always be wary of intervention in person, if I heard something like that, I'd call the police...you can always say that you'd rather not give your details.
Better to act and be wrong rather than not do anything and someone being hurt or worse.

OldFrill Wed 30-Apr-25 07:17:00

If someone sounded terrified to me I'd ring the police

karmalady Wed 30-Apr-25 07:23:42

No you did not do the right thing. You took the cowards way out.

Next could be a murder and what then? Would you feel guilty?

petra Wed 30-Apr-25 07:33:53

karmalady

No you did not do the right thing. You took the cowards way out.

Next could be a murder and what then? Would you feel guilty?

Exactly. There are too many people who walk on by.

Greenfinch Wed 30-Apr-25 07:37:20

Not very neighbourly just to ignore. Weren’t you worried about what the consequences might be?

Gingster Wed 30-Apr-25 07:39:36

Of course you should phone the police.

kittylester Wed 30-Apr-25 07:39:38

Anonymously report to the police!

Greenfinch Wed 30-Apr-25 08:08:32

I am interested to know if it is possible to report to the police anonymously. Many years ago I tried to report constant loud music deep into the night from a house in the lane next to our house and I was asked for my name and address.

kittylester Wed 30-Apr-25 08:10:38

I think it is.

mokryna Wed 30-Apr-25 08:18:47

I was baby sitting for my daughter in her Parisian flat one evening, a man shouting at a lady was so bad I called the police. They came. I don’t know whether it was due to my call or from another in the building. They spoke to the man for some time to calm matters down.
Better to call if in doubt as you would never forgive yourself if something seriously went wrong.

lixy Wed 30-Apr-25 08:29:52

‘When in doubt, shout’

If it happens again call the police as a matter of urgency. If other neighbours also make the call so much the better.

The couple might be embarrassed but that’s preferable to the alternatives.

sassenach512 Wed 30-Apr-25 08:51:41

There have been so many murder investigation series on TV where people have heard screams but did nothing and someone was found dead. If the woman sounded terrified and she was screaming, why on earth would you ignore it?

petra Wed 30-Apr-25 09:02:12

sassenach
You ask why on earth would you ignore it
Because her neighbours advised her too. 🤬

sassenach512 Wed 30-Apr-25 22:01:23

I don't understand your angry emoji to my post petra
Are you saying she did the right thing doing nothing because her neighbour advised it? Your previous post was saying "too many people walk on by"

Fleur20 Thu 01-May-25 07:46:26

I have been that woman.
I screamed and screamed for neighnours to phone the police.
I was 21 and terrified.
No-one helped me.
Shame on them.
Shame on you.

lixy Thu 01-May-25 09:24:04

Oh Fleur, much sympathy to you. brew

surfingsal Thu 01-May-25 10:38:40

I would have phoned the police you could save someone's life .

Greenfinch Thu 01-May-25 10:39:41

Thanks for sharing Fleur. I am sure that will convince people to do the right thing.There is too much of this do not get involved mentality. Why ever not? I would have been stuck if strangers had not come to my aid when I fell over. “ No man is an island”

Toetoe Thu 01-May-25 10:44:28

One night a woman screaming outside my 5ft garden fence , a man shouting at her , couldn't see anything but called 999 they arrived quickly . It was a domestic but he was dominant and nasty . Police took her away to protect her . But I'd never turn away .

NotSpaghetti Thu 01-May-25 13:16:46

It was a domestic
I hate this phrase.
It used to be used to "excuse" violence.

I'm sure you didn't mean this - but let's try to remember that abuse is still abuse.

I heard this phrase a lot in the past.

If anyone wants to know the statistics behind Domestic Abuse (in England and Wales), here's a link

www.ons.gov.uk/peoplepopulationandcommunity/crimeandjustice/bulletins/domesticabuseinenglandandwalesoverview/november2024