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Unannounced visits !

(158 Posts)
Oreo Wed 07-May-25 19:35:13

rafichagran

I would not like someone keep popping in unannounced. I think she needs to be told nicely that Sundays are a day you just want to relax and be with your family.

Her Mum is her family, or am I missing something?

GrannyGravy13 Wed 07-May-25 19:33:28

If only my darling mum was still here to pop in, I loved it when she did.

Family is precious.

Grandmabatty Wed 07-May-25 19:31:01

My daughter and grandsons pop in unannounced and I love it! I will pop in to their house too. Even my son in law will occasionally pop in and my aunt and uncle. It's how our family operate.
However I would expect friends to warn me first, in case I'm out of doing something.

rafichagran Wed 07-May-25 19:30:15

I would not like someone keep popping in unannounced. I think she needs to be told nicely that Sundays are a day you just want to relax and be with your family.

Primrose53 Wed 07-May-25 19:25:38

We are seldom visitor-ready. 🤣. People just have to take us as they find us. Today we have had two physios and a student (with appointments), my brother, a neighbour, my daughter and her boyfriend.

monk08 Wed 07-May-25 19:24:48

I wish my mum was still here to pop in unannounced.

Oreo Wed 07-May-25 19:14:36

You know what? I don’t consider I have to get my house ‘visitor ready’ in case my own Mum wants to pop in.She often does, and makes me a cuppa if I’m busy.
I love my Mum and therein lies the difference.

DsNanny Wed 07-May-25 19:10:01

Ok so what’s everyone’s view on this. For context, I’m late 40’s. A nanna myself to a beautiful 3 year old granddaughter, who I look after 3 days a week while my daughter works. I also work full time hours around this.

My mum is 73, lives alone. Never been close but we get along ok. Somewhat of a narcissist..

My mum seems to think it is perfectly acceptable to turn up at my house, or my children’s houses (less frequently as they don’t live as close) whenever she feels like it. It could be 10am on a Sunday morning, which none of us want as it is our only day off and we like to get up when we want, get dressed when we want, and just have a lazy morning. She doesn’t even consider that. Middle of the day when she knows I’m getting toddler down for a nap, hammers on the door and wakes her up. Ive even gone as far as not answering the door. She went round the back and let herself in. It’s usually when my granddaughter is here. I get that she wants to see her, but the frequent ‘pop ins’ that last a couple of hours are really irritating. She thinks it’s perfectly normal. I think it’s rude. I wouldn’t dream of just turning up on my children’s or friends and families doorstep. For one my house isn’t always ‘visitor ready’ with a toddler, dogs, other animals, me working full time, sometimes it looks like we have been burgled ! She says it doesn’t bother her, it bothers me ! The only people that I find it’s acceptable to turn up is my own children. As this is still their ‘home’

I have asked her numerous times to please let me know when she is intending to ‘pop in’ but she completely ignores me. She genuinely thinks she can do whatever she wants. In every situation.

What can I do next without a full blown argument as it’s actually getting really annoying that even though I’ve quite clearly asked her to not do it. She still does.

Hellllp