Need advice please..

I said I might fly back with him and stay in Airbnb for few weeks

Why commit to such a long stay?
Go for a week, maybe including both weekends , when presumably they’ll have some free time.
Have you been before?

Yes I have been before, yes that’s an option it’s just a very long way to go for just a week as takes few days to overcome jet lag.

Ive just come back from two weeks in America. Jet lag going isn’t so bad because you’re going with the world and the time difference isn’t so much.

10 days - two weekends- would be fine.

But you know that already.

Don’t go if you really don’t want to. On the other hand don’t let a bit of anxiety put you off.
Only you really know which it is that you’re feeling.

By the way I’m years older than you😬

I think this really depends on your reasons for making the decision to go/not go! It is your anxiety that is stopping you isnt it. So write a list of pros and cons of this holiday in terms of things you would like to do and see and the downsides of going ...not including the anxiety.

Once done weigh up which is more important to you:
*not letting anxiety drive your decision so you can do/experience all those pros

OR

* quelling your anxiety and not experiencing those things orspending extra time with your son

Whilst doing all this do consider solutions to the things that make you anxious as well as that might help in making a decision.

eg
* Air BnB location near a nice neighbourhoid/local coffee shop and shops/ maybe views or park ...depending where they live; yu can then create a little routine for your self whilst there
* budgeting for taxis if public transport scares you
* talking to your son about helping you book escorted trips to things you want to see etc.

Hope you can get to a conclusion you feel happy with [

Part of you must have wanted to go so I think it's just your travel anxiety which is the problem.

I had a similar worry last year when I went to NZ to stay with my DS and family.

I had only gone with DH but he died and I told myself I wouldn't go again on my own but DGS aged 11 asked me to and I couldn't resist.
It was a bit scary, especially as at the almost last minute I found I was supposed to have a transit visa a new thing since my previous visit
Then I left my phone on the first plane so had to arrive with no phone numbers or means of contacting anyone.
Yet I got there, had a brilliant 4 weeks. Some of the time I branched out on my own on bus trips. I was really glad I did it
I was 75.

Why did you say you would go and stay if you didn't mean it?
Why did you let it grow out of hand?
Your son is delighted that you want to go; are you honestly prepared to disappoint him because:
my problem is, deep down I don’t really want to go, my son will be working from home so I will have to navigate around on my own which terrifies me, and I do get anxious when I’m unsure.
Really??
How do you think widows and divorcees manage in these situations?

eazybee

Why did you say you would go and stay if you didn't mean it?
Why did you let it grow out of hand?
Your son is delighted that you want to go; are you honestly prepared to disappoint him because:
my problem is, deep down I don’t really want to go, my son will be working from home so I will have to navigate around on my own which terrifies me, and I do get anxious when I’m unsure.
Really??
How do you think widows and divorcees manage in these situations?

They hopefully broke the mould after they made you.

Could you take a relative or friend for company?

eazybee

Why did you say you would go and stay if you didn't mean it?
Why did you let it grow out of hand?
Your son is delighted that you want to go; are you honestly prepared to disappoint him because:
my problem is, deep down I don’t really want to go, my son will be working from home so I will have to navigate around on my own which terrifies me, and I do get anxious when I’m unsure.
Really??
How do you think widows and divorcees manage in these situations?

Least helpful post of the day 🙄

I d go now I ve said it but not stay more than 10 days.
I ve now stopped going to NZ alone or with anyone for me it’s just too far now, Grandkids are all grown and flown anyway. Just don’t want to be away from my home and the journeys awful long …..my son understands
Eazybee it creeps up on you I used to be happy to go on adventures alone now at 80 I m not so adventurous and prefer to potter around nearby

By returning with him, you are basically extending your visit but in a different location.

Why don't you admit you were thinking in haste, and it would be a better idea to visit at a later date? That way you can plan a good time to go, maybe when son isn't working, and you will give yourself time to gather up your courage. Depending on where he lives, the fall is usually a nice time to visit, and it will give you 6 months between visits.

I would go and relish the freedom being in that environment would afford me. Lazy mornings, maybe walking or getting some transport to do some shopping, visit galleries, beauty spots etc. You don't say where in the states you are going but they all speak the language (sort of!) so I'm sure you may also get chatting to some locals.
This is the sort of thing I do when I go to visit my family (and they work from home) although I don't have to get on plane to go there. I love not having to worry about the everyday trivia and just embrace the freedom!

If you don't want to go , stay at home!
Explain to your son , be honest with him and yourself.