When does a boyfriend become a partner

The young, up to about 40.

All young I know, know "the rules".

All changed about 20 years ago?
Maybe 15?

Very mysterious

Personally, I think it’s an age thing. My granddaughter has a boyfriend……..I have a partner, I am nearly fifty years older than her and I certainly would never refer to my OH as my boyfriend!

As regards marriage, it's well worth looking at what Martin Lewis outlines as: "the nine financial benefits of being married"! (Easily accessed online.)

fancythat

The young, up to about 40.

All young I know, know "the rules".

All changed about 20 years ago?
Maybe 15?

Can you explain what changed about 20 years ago

I find this thread very strange. Why on earth does it matter? It's up to them, surely.

Never knew there were rules??? It's howecer they refer to themselves if not sure ask her...

Legally, it may well not make the slightest difference whether they call each other partners, boy/girl friend, fiances etc. as in most countries no matter how long they live together they are both regarded as single for all legal matters.

As far as your friends go, it is a fairly common relationship these days.

If I were asked what the exact relationship in such a case was by my acquaintance, I would reply that I had not felt it to be my business to ask.

petra

fancythat

The young, up to about 40.

All young I know, know "the rules".

All changed about 20 years ago?
Maybe 15?

Can you explain what changed ^about 20 years ago^

I dont know.

But presume, since casual sex became mouch more the norm, and having multiple partners, some at the same time as another relationship on the go, that more descriptions were "needed".

One such one is "exclsuive".

In the context of romantic relationships, "exclusive" typically means that both partners have mutually agreed to only date each other and not pursue other romantic or sexual relationships. Other terms that can be used to describe this type of relationship include "monogamous" or "in a relationship".
Here's a more detailed breakdown:
Exclusive Relationship:
This is when two people decide to focus solely on each other, ending other dating or romantic pursuits. It's a common step towards a more committed relationship.
Monogamous Relationship:
This refers to a relationship where both partners are committed to having only one romantic and/or sexual partner.
"In a Relationship":
This phrase is a more general term for a committed, romantic partnership, often implying exclusivity.
Committed Partnership:
This can refer to a long-term, exclusive relationship that may or may not involve marriage.
Situationship:
This is a romantic or sexual relationship that lacks commitment, boundaries, and clear expectations.
Ethical Non-Monogamy:
This is an umbrella term for various relationship styles where individuals have more than one romantic or sexual partner, with the consent and knowledge of all involved.
Polyamory:
A specific type of ethical non-monogamy where individuals have multiple loving, romantic relationships with the knowledge and consent of everyone involved.
Open Relationship:
Another form of ethical non-monogamy where individuals may have romantic or sexual relationships outside of their primary relationship, with the knowledge and consent of their primary partner.
Monogamish:
A primarily monogamous relationship where occasional outside sexual experiences are allowed, with open communication and boundaries

"Oh, Arabella? Growing her career, saving for a deposit."

Just answer questions that relate to her. No need to say more.

I bet you’re fun at parties lol

fancythat

petra

fancythat

The young, up to about 40.

All young I know, know "the rules".

All changed about 20 years ago?
Maybe 15?

Can you explain what changed ^about 20 years ago^

I dont know.

But presume, since casual sex became mouch more the norm, and having multiple partners, some at the same time as another relationship on the go, that more descriptions were "needed".

One such one is "exclsuive".

Probably about accurate summing-up of current state of play.

I know that when I was in the "dating agegroup" I was quite envious at times of the way there were some very definite rules indeed at the time my mother was dating - as none of us would have landed up inadvertently getting used.

This would have been the late 1940's/very early 1950s that was my mothers dating era until she married my father. Everyone knew very clearly that "Nice girls didnt and nice men didnt ask". So there was absolutely no sex before marriage - at least if you'd got a scrap of sense. There was no pretty failsafe way to avoid pregnancy and no legal abortion = no sex before marriage.

It took me years before I clicked as to why my mother was so very clear what the rules were for her generation - ie her 17 years older sister was not her sister at all. She was her mother. The woman I'd been told was my grandmother was actually my great-grandmother in the event. My "auntie" had broken the rules and hence those very odd age gaps I wondered about - but still believed what I'd been told about what the set-up was until someone else looked at family photos and said "Had you realised........?" and I could literally see what had happened to explain the odd agegaps at that point.

So - yep....back in that era - I would have stuck to "the rules" myself (yep....that was how you made sure you did get married/own your own house/generally made sure you had a chance of a typical middle class lifestyle).

In my own era (started dating in the early 1970s) I got betrayed a few times by the rules of that era - ie things had progressed and I was sleeping with the guy - but then I found he'd not been following our 1970s/1980s rules (although I had) and had just treated me as an unpaid prostitute. I was NOT a happy bunny - as I'd known I was a "girlfriend". There wasn't a lot of deliberate "one night stands" back then (certainly not in the circles I was in/expected to be in)....so sex did mean "Yep...he's my boyfriend".

I think it’s all age dependent! I guess if they’re in a sexual relationship they are partners. I have a friend whose sister in law (early 70s) has a partner (to whom she is a carer) (late 80s) and both my friend and her husband refer to the sister in law’s partner as ‘her fella’ - how do you work that one out?!

The young today have strange rules. My friends DD met a chap and went out with him for 2 months. When my friend called him her boyfriend DD said No not my boyfriend we're just dating! Idk how long they date before he becomes a boyfriend Anyone know?

A friend in her seventies has a longstanding relationship with an older man. They don't live together and she refers to him as "my gentleman friend"

sazz1

The young today have strange rules. My friends DD met a chap and went out with him for 2 months. When my friend called him her boyfriend DD said No not my boyfriend we're just dating! Idk how long they date before he becomes a boyfriend Anyone know?

I'd have been so confused at that point that I'd have had to ask for clarification. I'd be saying "If you've been dating for 2 months - does that mean that he's a friend that happens to be male - but it's purely platonic?"

sazz1

The young today have strange rules. My friends DD met a chap and went out with him for 2 months. When my friend called him her boyfriend DD said No not my boyfriend we're just dating! Idk how long they date before he becomes a boyfriend Anyone know?

As far as I know, it is up to them.

"Dating" nowadays does not have to mean they are just seeing the one person.

Boyfriend/girlfriend now seems to mean exclusive, plus a more committed relationship.

When my granddaughter told me she had now got a boyfriend, I didn’t ask questions about the relationship. For now at least, it is exclusive. She will probably tell me if anything changes, but it is up to her. I don’t think I need to explain or define it to other people. I just go by what she has said.
Everything is so much more fluid these days, it seems.

Well, I think we all know what exclusive means in the context of relationships, whatever our ages; but I would not see that as something for me to discuss with others about someone else, assuming I knew.

I like Norah's response, or I might use 'Ermintrude's young man' or something vaguely ironic if I had to include him because the conversation referred to something they were both doing. I rather like 'probationary cohabit'

Cohab! Autocarrot has no sense of humour, does it

A live-in lover is called in Scots a "bidey-in" - but that doesn't include people who are long-term partners but don't live together, as they bide in different houses.

I haven't heard that term for decades .

This is a funny little discussion in my opinion.
It makes me feel quite young again!

A boyfriend becomes a partner when you move in together ,it may be 3 months or 3 yrs, if you buy or rent a house together you are definitely partners liable for at least some financial responsibility.
What you like to call it is your choice “partner” is a responsible sharing arrangement