Church & wisdom dilemma

I would choose family over all else. You can’t change family but you can your church.

I'm at the other end of the spectrum AuntieE as a Quaker:

(the Spirit, the Light of Love rather than "God" depending on the individual)

But agree. Its what is closest to your heart that matters

I chose between a little local MfW (Meeting for Worship) over the big city centre one, as it suits my character (we are closely connected in every way of course, but those choosing the small meeting prefer the more meditative approach, even when younger I did, over the one with lots of people and groups and so on)

But the big meeting has Zoom, and there are Zoom as well as RL groups which allow very elderly or people with disabilities or are carers, to join in.

Two distinct problems, so deal with them apart.

Am I right in thinking you are in the US where people seem to choose a church because it is nearby and the neighbours go there, rather than because they have found the denomination that suits them`?

If both you and your husband feel that the denomination you belong to, does not really suit you - then start looking hard at why, and which church would suit you better.

But please, do base your choice on finding the most satisfying way of worshipping Our Saviour and not on how conveniently it is placed in relation to your home.

If you move, no doubt you will find the same denomination, unless you have finished up in a very small one.

Aldom

If it was me I'd stay a few days including Sundays in areas nearer to the families. Try out the churches in your preferred denomination. If and when you feel comfortable in a particular church then look around at possible locations/houses.
I'm about to move and I'm in my 80's. As a proactive person by nature I have no worries about making new friends, although I am sad to be leaving my lovely circle of friends here. Best wishes for whatever you decide.

This. When you move you want a church that has the kind of community that best meets your own needs -it's not too much about denomination, is it? But remember that churches change their vicars/priests.
However, a strong and well run community within a church is to going to chose or allow an appointment that goes against its wellbeing. I'd put up with what you have now and focus on what is next. But you dont say, for example, whether you are a catholic but like an open approach, or like the singing evangelical sort, or the sort who definitely like women vicars or you prefer a man old style, or the Methodist and Unitarian options.

It depends on how much you feel that you need a priest or vicar to intervene between you and God, or you have a direct relationship with Him (or Her if you are of liberal bent), or a relationship with the "Spirit" rather than "God as Person".

If you are thinking seriously about moving from the area, there doesn’t seem much to be gained by changing churches before then.
Moving nearer, but not too near, to relatives is not a bad idea, though they too may move un the future.
Be very sure you choose the right location in terms of transport etc. A house can always be modified to your taste, but the location matters.

If it was me I'd stay a few days including Sundays in areas nearer to the families. Try out the churches in your preferred denomination. If and when you feel comfortable in a particular church then look around at possible locations/houses.
I'm about to move and I'm in my 80's. As a proactive person by nature I have no worries about making new friends, although I am sad to be leaving my lovely circle of friends here. Best wishes for whatever you decide.

Where-ever you live you are likely to have irritations. Perfect neighbours (if there are such people) can move away to be replaced by ones you don’t like as much.
This is something only you can decide, not a bunch of strangers on G’net, so I’m afraid you’re on your own with this one.

I would explore places not too far from each of your loved ones but not on the doorstep either.

Maybe try some local churches in the areas you think you might like?
You might get chatting to people with good ideas about the area too.
🤞

You could, like Gideon, put out a fleece.

Perhaps the thoroughly unsettled feeling s a message to move?

There seem to be 2 issues here: whether to move house or move church. If you move house I’m sure you will fine another church that meets your needs. You can check it out once you have chosen an area in which to live. I still feel a bit confused though.