Well I go back to my tried and tested ways of dealing with things as you will have read in other posts I have put on here. I suggest that you need two separate things to work on. So on the point of moving nearer family I would get two pieces of paper. On one you write the positives about moving nearer, and on the other the negatives. Each time you write something on the paper fold it over, so that it is not visitble and continue on like this. Do the same for how you feel about the churches. I suggest that you do this individually and dont discuss it between yourselves. Then after a few weeks, or when y ou feel you have put everything down that you think is relevant, then on a miserable day get the coffee and sit at the table with each other and open up the papers.
The first thing you want to do is still work alone, but look at the reasons you have put down and collect them into groups. So you might put, enjoy the group, with like working with others on a project, and am happy to take charge of some aspect together. So this is showing you like working with others etc and would prefer that to working alone. When you have done your own list, swap over and look at the other persons list. You may be surprised by something written theire or disagree with their view of what they like or do. With a bit of luck this will ensure that you have not missed out something of importance to you and possibly point out some snags that you had not thought of. Then you also should look at the family situation. If you move nearer to them now is it likely that they could then move elsewhere later on so that you might have moved for nothing?
Can you afford to spend perhaps even up to a month bed and breakfast in autumn or winter, when the weather cant kid you that it is all lovely there. If you can do that you will find out much more about the actual place, and you can visit the churches and wander around. Then get the local paper while you are then and perhaps get them to post them to you when you get home. This will give you lots of information about what goes on in the area, groups like WI or rotarians or whatever, and over time you will see if there is a particular area, perhaps near a pub that is in the local news for late evening problems or fights etc. All good ideas to let you have an idea which area you might like to live in.
You may be surprised by what the outcome is. Sometimes you discover that what you thought was important is not compared to other things. Friends are very precious and those you have had for years know you as you know them like no other. Keeping in close touch with them would be very important to me. You might end up deciding that you really prefer to stay where you are. So could you look at other ways of keeping in touch with the family where you might aim to visit them perhaps once a month from where you live now, or perhaps you could be finding someone trustworthy in their area who you would be prepared to pay to do small jobs for them and to check that they were ok and let you know, if you all felt happy to do that? Well even if you read this and think, none of this is for me, it will start you thinking of other ideas. Also if you have particular hobbies, gardening, beekeeping, cycling or whatever, if you look around you will find clubs or groups in the new area who you can contact. they will be able to advise you on how things work in their areas etc. I have moved 19 times as an adult and 6 as a child, having all sorts of experiences but keeping good friends is one of the top of my lists and am proud of my oldest friendship as I met my friend at aged 2 and we still are friends at 80 now. We have often not lived near one another but have been a support for each other over the years and make sure that we meet up for lunches etc. The great thing is that whatever comes or goes, she is my friend and I can trust her judgement and she of course knows all about my life as I do hers. Wishing you a good journey of discovery as to where you might go next
