Retirement

All the time we were employed, we both had a range of other interests and activities; gardening, poetry group, running, canoeing, charity fundraising and other charity support ( ecology, recycling, treeplanting) , yoga, book club, crafts. When we gave up working, we just had more time to do our favourite stuff (and a wide circle of people we knew who shared the same interests).

It’s amazing being retired. I especially enjoy a slow start in the morning. I have two coffees and complete some puzzles before I get going. I got a dog when I retired and she gets me out twice a day. I love being retired, after working many years in the NHS as a nurse, I deserve every minute of my retirement.

I worked in the City for about 20 years in various roles from shorthand typist to accountant. It was a way to pay the bills. Nothing else. I thought outside the box and started a dating agency in the 80’s. Unfortunately my husband lost his job the minute we had our son. The dole people made me give all my income to them and I decided to close the company. Now I am 74 and choose to sell so much stuff on eBay as a mini job. Suits me and can recommend.

I was dreading retirement, as my last job, which I held for around 9 years, was the best job I ever had. I so wished I had gone down that path years before, instead of flitting around for a few years in various jobs. None of those other jobs were fulfilling at all. So when I knew retirement was looming, I became quite despondent. I did an extra year, and left at 67.
The first two years were very trying, I felt I had no direction or purpose. In my job, I was fairly well liked, my opinions were respected, and I know I worked really hard, and helped so many people.
I was going to go back as a volunteer, but I couldn't face not being one of the regular staff, and being excluded from the inner workings of the whole organisation.
So it has taken me a couple of years to accept this different lifestyle. But I have got there. We have a lovely touring caravan, which we use regularly throughout the summer.
The winter is a lot harder, but we have regular family contact, occasional grandparent duties, I go to the theatre with my sister once a month, watch some good series on t.v. etc.
So my advice would be to give yourself time, don't worry that you don't want to join clubs, groups, ramblers etc. As time goes by you will find your days getting naturally fuller, as you start to read those books you never got round to, you perfected the craft you kept abandoning, you chatted to the neighbour you had only been on nodding terms with.....before you know it, there will some sort of settlement and acceptance of your daily routines and work will be a distant memory.
So just give it time, don't be too anxious about being discontent initially, it will all evolve and you will be busy with your own daily activities. Good Luck!!

Don't be anxious or depressed. This is a new chapter which still has to be written. My experience was that life began to slow down. The trick is not to feel guilty because you read a book all morning or went for a nice walk. Trust and believe that you will find your rhythm. Be kind to yourself.

I retired a month before my 61st birthday (so no State Pension until I was 63) from a job which I had thoroughly enjoyed for 18 years - Academic Administrator in an Oxford College. OH retired a year later although he did two or three overseas short trips for another year or so.

Over the last 11 years I have done face to face courses at the V&A and at the Oxford University Department of Continuing Education. I’ve also done online courses. Also one or two Day Schools. I joined the WI, the Art Society and the U3A. I belong to a Book Group and a Craft Group. I became a grandmother!
For a while I volunteered at a nearby historic house but gave it up when I realised I had no free time!

We can go on holiday in term time, which is cheaper,

OH took up beekeeping and shooting. We have recently taken up pottery together.

There is so much out there.

I retired end of March this year. After 50 years in an amazing career in the NHS. I finally retired at 70.

But... I so bored now.
I struggle with the slow pace of life. My DH has taken to it like a Duck to water, which irritate me.

I did all the planning of things to do once you Retire.
We went away, for short trips in Europe each month, March - June and again I'm off to Mexico in Sept.
I joined the WI, Tried U3A, I go to the Gym, we look after our Grandchildren at least a day a week. But I still have too much time on my hands.
I have read loads of books, got a fabulous sun tan! done the gardening and still it's not enough for me.

I have consider Volunteering, but nothing stirs my interests.
I am planning some fence painting, and I'm going to repaint the Shed but so far that's all that's left on my list.

I really find Retirement, not as good as its cracked on to be.

I was sorry to read about how you feel, Momac
You've been given lots of good advice here, so I would add, simply, give yourself time to adapt to your new situation. Transitions can be difficult.
I hope that you can see the advantages of your new life, soon.
Keep on GN- it's amusing, exasperating, and stimulating, and let us know how it's going.

I joined a few groups some were for women and some mixed. There's a few on Facebook but if you dont do facebook there are a few App. NOT DATING APPS jut friendship. I have one thats called MeetUp you can search for groups in your area. I live in Hertfordshire and there's one for the whole of Hertfordshire but also a few for the smaller towns around where I actually live. They meet up for all sort of things from Walking, to lunches and all sorts of other things. I also belong to a group called Social Friends in my area that organise all sorts of things including short UK holidays.

I did do some voluntary work when I first retired but it was discontinued during Covid and they were never able to get it off the ground. It was something I could do when I wanted to and not like a Charity Shop where they expect you to do the same shifts all the time. I wanted something I could chose when I wanted to do it.

Love every minute of my retirement. Don't know how I had time to work!!! Loved my job,secondary teacher,for 40 years but love being retired

I’m retiring at Christmas after a lifetime in childcare. I know it’s right and the right time. Fingers crossed thanks for your comments really helped.

My advice would be to have something ready to start soon after retirement (and perhaps after that holiday). I started volunteering at a women’s charity a week after leaving work and am still there 10 years later as it gives me a good friendship group and a routine ( 2 days a week)

If not volunteering, join W1, U3a, a walking group, lunch club or learn a new skill. You’ll make lots of new connections and starting soon after retiring avoids inertia. Good luck.

My first thought when you said you're "depressed and anxious" about retiring is = do you actually have to retire? Is it possible for you to continue in the job you're in or, if not, then find an equivalent one for another firm?

Some people do actually like work - yep....I always used to envy them....as, to me, it's always been "a means to an end".

But, if you're fortunate enough to be one of the people that likes your job = then is it possible to stay in it for a while longer or just ratchet down a bit - eg going down to, say, 3 days a week?

To me (and, I imagine, many others) retirement comes as a relief. I was counting the days for literally years before it came to it. Things started going downhill in the 1980s - ie which was commonplace (as work conditions etc got steadily worse for most). But I absolutely loathed my last job with a passion and it was very ironic that it was the "least worst option" available to me to fight grimly to hang onto as much of it as I could for as long as I could and hope I made it to retirement. I used to joke (but meaning it) that I bought a Lottery ticket at intervals to give the Universe the chance to provide me with a big enough win that I could just stick in that job for only as long as it took to confirm that I'd had my winnings safely banked okay and then I would have taken great delight in literally picking up my belongings and walking straight out that door two minutes later and, very deliberately, sending them a resignation letter finally after I'd made them wonder for as long as I could get away with why I wasn't there at work any longer.....

I woke up everyday thereafter with a first thought of "Thank goodness I don't have to go into darn job any longer....".

I don't remember it as much as I might - as it wasn't that long afterwards that I moved across country to Wales. Otherwise, I'd frequently be walking past my old workplace and duly giving it the "two fingers up" sign. As it is - time has softened the memory and made me absolutely incredulous at just how bad it was....but yep...it was.

I also joined a local'Simply Walk' group which involves a regular weekly walk followed by a sociable coffee. There are groups in lots of places. It helps me stay reasonably fit and mobile too.

I am sorry you are not looking forward to retiring.

Perhaps these ideas might help:

Now you will have time for hobbies, perhaps some you have not done for years - you could try taking them up again, or you could surf the internet or go to the library and find some new ideas.

Most of us have somethings it was hard to find time for while we worked full-time and that we have taken up again.

Sit down and write a list of things you want to do, now that you will have time for them. The first part of retirement, when we still are reasonably fit, is the time for travelling, if that is what you enjoy, or doing up the house, replanning your garden, getting a pet etc etc.

You may want to consider whether your present home is too big, or inconvenient or will become so, if your health should deteriorate.

Must of us have accumulated a lot of stuff over the years, and are not necessarily interested in all of it any more. I sold a modest coin collection yesterday and got neary three times what I had expected for it, so tidying up could bring you some pleasant surprises.

I retired in October 2020 just after I became a granny. I already did a fair amount of volunteering while I was working - one early morning a week and various roles in my church and community, so retirement gave me time to expand some of the volunteer roles. I'd always been a crafter and attended a sewing group in school holidays so that group became a regular thing all year round, and I've since joined 2 local knit and natter groups. Retiring towards the end of the pandemic meant some of my volunteering roles had stopped but I found new things. I started volunteering at the local food bank and now do deliveries for them 2 or 3 times a month.

If you already do volunteering, expanding how much time you give is a good way forward, as long as you have the flexibility to go away whenever you want. I don't do much childcare as my grandchildren live 200 miles away, though I have done the odd times, so being free to get away is important, especially being available for their birthdays. Many of the volunteers at the food bank are retired so we don't do a fixed shift rota but all let the organisers know our availability each month which makes things flexible. Some people only do 1 shift a month, others more than I do.

You might want to try to join some local groups before you actually stop working so you can make a few new contacts. I've lived alone since my children left home, having divorced when they were teenagers, so belonging to social groups was important. If work has consumed all your time I can understand you being anxious, but there are lots of things you can join where people are friendly and welcoming. If you are crafty there are knit and natter groups everywhere. If not, go along anyway and learn a new skill. I find that everyone in the groups I attend is supportive with ideas for making things and we share our unwanted hoards of fabric, wool and other materials. We learn from each other and are inspired by other peoples creations. I'm also in a choir and sing in my church, so those activities just carried on as before - once we were allowed to sing again after the pandemic. Not singing regularly for a while meant I lost my ability to sing the high notes so I've become a lady tenor! That meant getting to know new people in the choir I'd been in for nearly 20 years.

I'm in the Matt le Blanc group. His favoutite thing to do is "Nothing". Now that I'm retired I can do it all the time!!

Be gentle on yourself. Retirement is a watershed moment and precedes a transitional time. It’s ok to feel apprehensive and a bit anxious for the future. We retired last year and tbh it hasn’t been easy for me. It’s such a big change…..Take each day at a time and ease into a different way of being. It will be ok.

Now that the retirement age is so much later than it was, I'd get stuck in straight away. If you have a desire to visit somewhere exciting, don't wait.

I appreciate that this is personal to me, but my mobility start going downhill at 70.

I also retired in my mid-fifties and was pleased to leave work as my job had become a grind. My husband retired not long after, we downsized and both enjoy having a simpler life and being able to do what we like most of the time - which is mostly not doing a great deal. Of course not everybody is the same, some feel the need to keep very busy all the time.
Unlike many we don't particularly like holidays as we're very happy at home, but go for meals and days out instead.
Most people find that their health does deteriorate somewhat as they get older, but a decent amount of gentle exercise is enough for many to keep fit.
My recipe for retirement is to relax and enjoy it.

I retired in 2008 aged 58 after 36 years teaching
I have no regrets but I am lucky to have my health, financial freedom and lots of interests
Take time to adjust to not getting up and to having the choices offered! Treat yourself to a holiday if possible! Think about what you would like to do but give yourself time to do nothing if necessary
Everybody is different but don’t dread it, embrace it !

Maybe you are wondering what it will be like to.wake up and find the structure of your life isn't there.any.more. I do like some structure. In the 25 years since I retired I have volunteered for everything going, for anything from a year to five years depending on how I was getting on with it and made a couple of good friends to say nothing of many acquaintances. I have kept the weekends free for family and reading the weekend papers to make weekends different. I think it's important to go out every day, if only for the fact it's so nice to get home again. Retirement does take some getting used to. You have to look on it as a new job which is looking after yourself and finding things to keep.yourself occupied and happy.

Marilla

keeping quiet:
You reflect exactly how I feel too. I am not unhappy and continue to look after grandchildren with absolute pleasure. However, we to be very careful with our money even though our mortgage is paid off. I can’t find activities which engage and make me want to return over time. Very difficult to make new friends too after moving house and retirement. I am not a very good ‘joiner’ which doesn’t help.

Before I finished work a friend said that there's no such thing as retirement and I now agree.

There hasn't been a moment of boredom but much of my life is taken up with humdrum stuff.

I think it is just like working life in some respects. I can never stay in bed (wouldn't want to really) and have to keep a keen eye on my spending.

It isn't a bad life by any means, but it isn't 'retirement,' whatever that means,

Poppyred

I don’t agree. Just wait and see how you feel. Take your time and enjoy your freedom for a while. Plenty of time to decide what you want to (or not) do next.

Momac 55 , two different views here, take your time by all means, so entirely up to you but do be careful that you don’t slip into apathy, very easy to do I’m afraid.

I retired some year ago, had done the sums and was sure I’d be extremely hard up.
Surprisingly, I easily adapted and have never been as broke as when my children were growing up. I live as simply and as green as I can, making use of charity shops and Reduced stickers. I don’t have holidays or run a car but I do keep a dog and 2 cats.
As you get old you need more heat but fewer new things.