Friend Not Keeping Her House Clean

Does she have family that visit? If not then perhaps just ask how she is coping around the house as you know her DH helped a lot? You could word it in a way that perhaps you are finding things harder these days. I don't think it's intrusive, if she shuts you down straight away I would leave it at that .

Abnuyc123

I went to my friend’s house and I’ve been left concerned about the state of her house. I know she’s never been keen on housework but I think her late husband more than pulled his weight.

The milk in the fridge was off, the sink was dirty with old bits of food in the plug hole, the kitchen was unusable, the bathroom sink was dirty. WWYD? I don’t know whether I just have different standards and how’s she living is ok?

Or look at it an other way . When her husband was alive he preferred a different level of domestic bliss and willingly helped provide it.

Now she lives alone she can please herself, relax, do what the hell she likes.

In Casa Butterjam, I can guarantee that whichever of us dies first , there will be a new domestic order.

If she is a good friend, then if there's an underlying problem then it will come out. But the tidiness of her home might not be a symptom of anything other than different priorities or standards. Maybe her DH did the cleaning up and now she is letting it settle back to her norm. Focus on being a good friend, loyal and true. The rest will surface if it needs to. (Off to clean out my plughole now!)

Has your friend any family you could contact to say you concerned for her?

A dirty plug hole is one thing but out of date food could be dangerous for her.

Some people I know would probably be horrified if they looked too closely at our house. I hate housework and do as little as possible but it looks reasonable. Sometimes when you suffer a loss or tragedy your priorities change.

Her husband died two years ago. From reading your responses, I’m feeling that I just need to leave her to it. I wouldn’t know what to do anyway.

Oh if she’s not coping that’s a bit different to living how you want.

Still, you can’t do anything about other people’s houses, Im afraid.

you don't say how long ago her husband passed away, if it's recent she might be feeling depressed and sad.

Kate1949

Why were you looking at her plug hole?

She asked me to put the kettle on, so I saw it then. I wasn’t snooping.

Why were you looking at her plug hole?

I think it might be her business if it is a change in behaviour. With a friend of mine it was a sign she was ill.
It us obviously very tricky to address.

Her house how she likes it. Not how you would like it.

No it isn’t. Except I do care about my friend and I’m concerned that she’s not coping.

Not your business though is it?