Get to the bottom of this!

I highly recommend the non slip floor in the shower.

Only realise how good it is when using another shower on holiday, with an ordinary (slippy) floor.

My mothers nearly 90 and hasn’t bathed or showered for years as she has mobility issues and struggled to get in and out of the bath and she was worried about falling in the shower . She has a strip wash by the sink , although sometimes she forgets to wash . I wash her hair weekly and make her wash . She has a perching stool by the basin . I have gently told her that she smells , ditto her clothes as she wears the same clothes for 4 days . I do think she has signs of dementia and I’ve read that not doing personal care is a sign .
Unfortunately my mother won’t have any carers in .

ExDancer

Obviously people don't know they smell, so its a difficult subject to approach. I like Narnia's adult wipes solution. I have a cold bathroom which doesn't help.

If you put a wet wipe on a radiator or heated towel rail for a couple of minutes, (or maybe just a few seconds in the microwave?) it warms up nicely . . .

Obviously people don't know they smell, so its a difficult subject to approach. I like Narnia's adult wipes solution. I have a cold bathroom which doesn't help.

Tesco's "Fred and Flo" ones are a good size, and not highly scented - if you smell strongly of the perfume used for some of them, it does rather advertise that you didn't shower or bath.

Elegran

Narnia to be tactful, maybe you could buy her a packet of one of the "adult wipes " and say to her, "I saw these in the supermarket and it occurred to me that they would be so useful on days when you don't want the hassle of getting in and out of a bath." or maybe, "I keep a pack of these in the bathroom for days when I can't be bothered to have a whole bath. They have a nice fragrance"

Top advice, I think.

(I have no mobility problems but use ordinary baby wipes as convenient for under the arms or those tough to reach bits and bobs - to clean my hearing aids - cleaning small items effectively - I also don't shower every day and do sink washes - it depends on need?

If she is not smelling, then I'd just keep an eye on the situation for now.

Mu mum also (84) never used the bath or shower, but did a very good flannel wash - very adequate, the habit of a lifetime.

Walk in shower with seat & good strong long hand rails. I would go glass, sturdy framed doors, not bi-fold doors, (they get in the way of hand rails) & harder to clean. I wouldn’t go for a glass wall either.

Also get the largest shower you can leaving room later for a stool or seat.

Ohmother

If you instal a walk in shower PLEASE pay the extra for a non slip floor. My friends family changed her bath to a shower and it felt lethal even with one of those rubber mats down. If it’s too late and already installed you can buy strips of grips from Amazon that stick strongly to the floor and do the job.

As I recall - the showerfloor in one of those "We rip your bath out and install a showercubicle - with a seat as well" is stated as being non slip. The idea of that seems a good one per se - though I don't know what the quality of it is like and I'd be wary of it being done by workmen (yep..it's always men) in my current area.

From my own experience - at having an ordinary modern-size walk-in shower put in I'd say:

- if the firm has to replaster the bathroom floor (they probably will!) don't believe them when they say "That will be dry a week from now - and then you can have vinyl put down". I can only thank goodness that, when I was daft enough to believe them saying that and had to have that vinyl replaced only a year or two later (ie for going mouldy) that I'd not followed their heavily emphasised suggestion of them wanting to put ceramic tiles or similar on my bathroom floor. At least the vinyl was easy to rip up and to see what effect they'd had. New vinyl I had to put down then is okay.

- if they tell you their plasterer is also a decorator and you can employ him for that (under separate arrangement) afterwards if you like - then check he's using the paint you've specified (preferably buy it yourself). I told him exactly what colour paint to use - ie one of the Dulux whites - and realised afterwards it's not the same shade of white as it is in the rest of my house. I wondered why he kept asking and asking and asking and asking (numerous times) what colour it was I'd said. Daylight eventually dawned "Oh there are people that can't read!!!! - and he's one of them". It took ages to dawn that I'd actually met someone who can't read (though it's struck me since meeting a couple of other people that sometimes people can't speak English as perfectly as I'm assuming they do - having had a recent row with a professional medic I thought spoke perfect English - because she doesnt and wouldnt admit she'd made a mistake in understanding me).

- don't expect them to use their commonsense re what height to put the sliding showerrail thing the showerhead comes off (if it's one of that type - rather than those huge rainfall ones fixed to the ceiling). Cue for it was a tall man that affixed mine to the one. Said tall man could see little 5'2" me there. It's higher than it should be for me. Obviously I want to allow for tall visitors - but not so much so that it's done at the owners expense (ie little me). It's usable okay by me - but the place where the top of the rail is located comes higher than the top of the shower cubicle walls - and it doesnt look quite right looking at it from outside the cubicle.

If you instal a walk in shower PLEASE pay the extra for a non slip floor. My friends family changed her bath to a shower and it felt lethal even with one of those rubber mats down. If it’s too late and already installed you can buy strips of grips from Amazon that stick strongly to the floor and do the job.

Yep...it took me quite a lot of doing to persuade my mother to swop over the bath in their house to a shower instead - and she'd got to the stage of having a hip replacement. It all had to be done in rather a rush eventually.

My dad refused to change the bathroom as the bath was really long and deep.I asked what was the point when he couldn't get in to it but he was very stubborn.

I had this problem with my father .
Up until his last illness he was obsessed with his appearance.
He bathed very frequently and wore fresh clothes having sprayed himself with cologne .
The house was immaculate.
Dirty people and houses made him feel sick . Then he was unable to get up the stairs to the bathroom .
He washed in the kitchen .
He absolutely refused to move nor have the house altered.
I managed to keep him clean but it was exhausting . I had to carry heavy buckets of water to wash him .
I've tripped over spilling the contents on the carpet .
I've strained my back and knee .
I've noticed that his elderly friends smell very unpleasant. I have gagged and even vomited .
As we age we tend to pong .
If anything our bodies need washing and our clothes changing more frequently.
He's passed now but if I could get into a Tardis I would have told him the truth.
Wouldn't it be lovely for you to have a nice long bath as you used to ?
If pressed -
You don't smell nice anymore .
Here's the brochures and let's get a quote for a downstairs bathroom and faced his temper .
It would have been an explosion followed by the not speaking for days possible tears and tantrums followed by acceptance.
And then what a great idea he had having the new bathroom installed!
Rather than struggle-take the bull by the horns .

I take two types of medicine which cause dry flaky skin. The health care professional I see told me not to immerse my body in water every day was it was not good for aging skin.

ExDancer You should receive the Winter Fuel allowance soon. Like me, you're over 80 therefore your WFA is £300. I've recently received my letter informing me of the amount. Hope you hear about yours very soon.

My mother in law refused to use a shower preferring to use a bath. She had a bath lift that was a sort of chair that sat in the bath and was raised and lowered electronically. This meant that she only had to slide over onto the chair. During her last months I did have to help her in the bath even with this device but she was in her nineties by then

My mum had a bath board which she could sit on and use the shower without getting down onto the bath. I think the carer helped with this.

What a good idea Cariadagain. Thank you. I’ll do just that. 😁

Sorry for typos

I'm 87 with serious arthritis and I love my bath.
I fill lit with water then stand at the tap end and put a nice nig facecloth on the bottom in front of me.
Then I kneel down and gently roll over into a sitting position. I reverse the procedure to get out.
I have to limit myself to one bath per week because of the cost of using the emersion heater for the water. I'd have a bath every day if I could afford it.
I would never confess to my DC, if they were to ask, that the reason is economic, and hope deodorants are taking care of any smells.
I truly miss that Winter Fuel Allowance.

Ktsmum

My friends, ( we are retired nurses) tell me that there is no patient washing now in our local hospital, instead patients are given wipes which when soaked in water go soapy and are used by patients to wash themselves. Sink washes are ok as long as they are thorough, so maybe suggest something like this, as well as asking once a week if she would like a hand with a lovely soak in the bath

Oh dear - that sounds more like "NHS economies" to me rather than "better way to do it" !

I'm an advocate of showers myself - ever since I was an au pair in Denmark in the 1970s and duly became a fan of showers (rather than the baths that were the norm in Britain then) and saunas.

I'd put a sauna in my house if I could - but it hasn't got the room. So one of the first things I did on buying current house was rip out the bathroom and put in a modern-size shower (ie big enough for two people). It's only a tiny bathroom (darn it) and so there isn't room for a separate bath too = or I'd have one as well. But I fit that shower in by having it going across wall to wall (across the bathroom window - but hey it's opaque and it's the back end of someone else's huge garden that's the other side of my relevant garden wall).

I could put in a seat if I wanted to and/or a grip rail - but am reluctant to. But - if push came to shove I could do one or both I guess. What I do do is I tried out an idea I saw somewhere (possibly on this board) of having one of those rubber bathmat things one puts on a shower floor. That was not a good idea actually - because I'm the one that does my housework and they do create extra housework. But I did think "Well if my cheapie waterproof flip-flops are good enough to go to saunas/spas with - then I'll try them out". So I just slip on my spa flip-flops before I have a shower and that gives me "grip" on the showerfloor and doesnt create extra housework.

I have a shower over my bath and haven"t been able to have s bath for years, just a shower. That is getting more difficult so am in the process of replacing the bath with a shower cubicle, plus a seat more grab rails and non slip flooring. Its all being done by a specialist mobility firm. I want to stay as independant as possible for as long as I can, Im 77yr and have ms

My elderly mum had never been able to have a bath once we all left home and she was widowed as she suffered from epilepsy so could have had an epileptic fit risking her drowning.
My brother arranged for a walk in shower to be fitted instead of the bath. I was delighted as I much prefer a shower and had difficulty getting out of a bath. Unfortunately when DD and I went to stay we found that the shower could not be set cool enough to stand under - the water was too hot at even the coolest setting! When I mentioned this to mum she claimed it was fine for her. I suspect she never used it and continued to have a strip wash at the sink.
When she eventually moved into sheltered accomodation a carer came a couple of times a week to help her shower in the wetroom in her flat. She would get up early and be dressed on the day the carer came and then say she had forgotten she was due, so not to worry as she was already dressed!
I decided not to challenge her. I lived 200 miles away so couldn't keep an eye on her all the time. There were a couple of occasions when she got infections and ended up in hospital with confusion as a result, probably hygiene related, but most of the time I'm sure her strip washes were adequate. She didn't smell.
Now as I age I'm glad I have a walk in shower in my ensuite. I have never had a bath in this house and only once used the shower over the bath in my bathroom when the boiler broke down as the shower over it is electric. I don't have a shower every day, but hopefully often enough that I'm clean enough and fresh enough. I don't seem to sweat as much as when I was younger and although I still use deodorant I sometimes wonder if I really need it. Nowadays clothes get washed due to spillages rather than because they smell sweaty. Perhaps your mum has noticed similar changes but allowed things to go too far!

Hi I may he wrong here but there may be help advice from help the Aged and Occupational therapy services regarding getting in and out of the bath / shower . I think you can buy bath hoists too . Not much help if the old parent doesn’t want to but my granny and I think my mother usually just had strip washes at the sink . My very elderly aunt once got stuck in the bath and my father had to go round and lift her out !

My friends, ( we are retired nurses) tell me that there is no patient washing now in our local hospital, instead patients are given wipes which when soaked in water go soapy and are used by patients to wash themselves. Sink washes are ok as long as they are thorough, so maybe suggest something like this, as well as asking once a week if she would like a hand with a lovely soak in the bath