Get to the bottom of this!

This sounds just like my mother only the other way round. If she said, ‘I had a lovely bath this morning.’ I knew she hadn’t. She finally admitted she could get in but couldn’t get out so we took out the bath and installed a shower cubicle large enough for a seat but her cleaning lady suspected it was hardly being used. The next step was to get her a carer to go in twice a week just to help her with showering. She was capable of doing it for herself but it was a combination of being lazy and needing that extra bit of company.

My mum normally a very clean lady in her self and always kept a spotless house, suddenly decided, about your mums age that she didn’t need to shower every day, she got a strip wash instead, even though she had a lovely wet room.
Also the bed changing became once in a blue moon, very unlike her, she used to say there was only her and it wasn’t dirty.
I never did fathom this change out, apart from she went on to develop dementia. Hope that’s not the case with your mum.

My mum said she didn’t use the bath because there was something needing to be fixed. Dh fixed it, but bath remained unused. I assume she washed at the bathroom sink, I never noticed a smell. I spoke to her about it and used to pick her up and bring her here, so I could help her bath and hair wash.
I am 8 years younger than your mum, and still use the bath but am finding it increasingly awkward getting in and out and it won’t be long before I have to get a shower installed. I am fit and walk for miles, but the bath will soon defeat me. It’s the sitting down and standing up which is hard.
Have a word with her, but if she washes at the sink it’s not so bad, that’s how we all managed years ago.
I can just about remember the tin bath on the floor by the fire and the toilet in the garden.

When I was a child (born 1945), my parents only put me in a bath once a week. I was only allowed fresh clothes once a week too, on the same day!
I suppose it was so difficult then to cope with lots of washing, especially if you lived in a flat, that they could only cope by having this system.
I remember the tin bath in front of the fire too, always on Sunday so you were clean to start the week. There was no bathroom and the toilet was in an outhouse a good way from the house. This is why we all had chamberpots, and I remember my granddad taking them every morning to empty them. Looking back, (you don’t notice when you are a child), it must have been quite a hard way of life and yet I remember only happiness in that house.
We are so lucky now, but people still moan!

Sorry, you asked for advice but all I did was go on about my own bath stories! I apologise.
I have seen an advert on tv for a bath that has a door you open to get in and out. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the name of it, but I will have a look online and, if I find it, I’ll come back to you.

I think the baths with doors can be awkward as you have to stay seated until the bath empties which can take time and be quite chilly if wet. There have been other threads saying this.

I had to have a shower installed around 15 years ago when I could no longer get out of the bath, and getting in was like the sinking of the Titanic.

I have an adjustable, movable shower stool which has been so useful, especially post-knee surgery. I bought that from Amazon.

There is no bath as there was insufficient space for both.

I suspect the bath is too difficult even if she says it isn’t.

After an acutely embarrassing experience of my mil having to be hoisted from her bath by the fire brigade 😱😳 I gave up my bath as soon as it became a little bit difficult.

By which I mean that it was getting hard to haul myself from the sitting position to stand and I to let the water out and roll over onto my knees and get up that way.

Sadly lots of older people don’t like showers either ( my mil😬)
And getting into one over the bath can be very difficult too.

It depends on your relationship whether you can say to her that she needs a bath/shower. I do shower every day but I’ve told my family to tell me if there’s a smell. I’m pretty confident they won’t hold back😬

I have looked into the baths with a four and there are a number of pitfalls. You have to sit in the bath while it fills, and also until it is empty. Very chilly, I would have thought, especially given the age of your Mum.
Maybe, as mentioned above, carers dealing with it twice a week is the best idea, with all-over washes on non-carer days.

Baths with a DOOR, not a four!

Can you install a walkin shower?

Or get her some grownup 'babywipes'?

I’ve worked as a support worker with elderly people in the past. A lot in their eighties will have strip washes.
I think they can feel unsafe in a bath or shower.
A perch stool and long handled sponges can be helpful.

If the worst comes to the worst Drench wipes are very good. They're extra large and work very well in cleaning 'the important little places' after confidence is lost in using a bath and a shower isn't possible.

A "festival shower" is what is needed .i.e. stand at the sink and wash the "pits and bits" with a flannel. This is what I do every day.
I shower and wash hair once a week in my walk in shower.
I do not smell I can assure you!

Fred &Flo wipes are pretty big too, and Tesco has them, which some people would prefer over ordering Drench online (but Drench no-rinse hairwash showercaps are a boon when you don't want to wash your hair in the bath/shower, but can't bend over a washbasin either)

Perhaps give her a Christmas gift of an installed shower?

Narnia to be tactful, maybe you could buy her a packet of one of the "adult wipes " and say to her, "I saw these in the supermarket and it occurred to me that they would be so useful on days when you don't want the hassle of getting in and out of a bath." or maybe, "I keep a pack of these in the bathroom for days when I can't be bothered to have a whole bath. They have a nice fragrance"

My gran didn’t have a single bath (or shower) in her whole life. She lived in a little house with no bathroom and an outside toilet and washed in her scullery sink, the only tap in the house. She always smelled of roses 🌹 and lived until she was 92.
I stopped using deodorant years ago, and don’t think I smell because if I did I know I would have been told.

Some older/elderly people can get distressed with the temperature controls on showers.
There might be days where the temp outside can be very cold and they feel they might want the temp a bit higher and then get anxious when it’s too hot or not hot enough.

a person that I know who bathes everyday but washes her hair once a week so if I give her a hug it smells1 maybe that's what your brother senses....

silverlining48

My gran didn’t have a single bath (or shower) in her whole life. She lived in a little house with no bathroom and an outside toilet and washed in her scullery sink, the only tap in the house. She always smelled of roses 🌹 and lived until she was 92.
I stopped using deodorant years ago, and don’t think I smell because if I did I know I would have been told.

I remember when we bought our first house, back in the mid seventies, local councils could give grants to homeowners who didn’t have a bathroom in their house.
The EOT house we bought had a new ground floor bathroom added onto the back.
It was freezing in there in winter, the shampoo froze in the bottle!

I had the bath with an overhead shower removed from my en suite four years ago and replaced with a walk in shower. Getting in and out of the bath to shower can be very slippy and tbh I don't think it's suitable for people as they get older.
Mil lived with us in her late 90's and she had a walk in shower but we also provided a seat and made sure the bathroom was warm. However she eventually couldn't shower safely unaided so we got help as she didn't want me to help her tbh she took some persuading but once she'd got to know her carer they become good friends. I took her to the hairdressers for a shampoo and set on a regular basis so she didn't need to do her hair at home. My experience is that many older people find it difficult to accept they are no longer as independent as they were so getting them to accept help needs tack, kindness and diplomacy.

Mil also had wall grips added for extra stability and a non slip floor.

silverlining48 don't rely on anyone telling you! remember the adverts. 'even your friends won't tell you'

I've worked with people over the years who had BO and lived at home with their families but weren't told by them