Help I’m becoming obsessed after bad event

Is this a job, or voluntary work?
Six weeks suspension seems a long punishment to inflict.

There must be a code of conduct for members and officials to follow. Ask for a copy, and also written records of how the decision to suspend you was taken, and the reasons for it. Compile the evidence for your case ; you do not have to use it but it will clarify matters in your mind.
Do not help the person filling your role, however much you value your club; you are being taken for a fool if you do and it may increase the poor treatment meted out to you.

Sometimes Governing Bodies make arbitrary decisions without being aware of correct procedures; this should be challenged.
At the end of my career there was a dispute over the date of my retirement. The Governing Body had made serious mistakes, had to back down, and were astonished to find they could all be removed for gross incompetence, that is, failure to read and apply the terms and conditions correctly. That simple.

This governing body may have exceeded its remit; they have certainly treated you badly and you should challenge them. Doing something practical will occupy your mind and make you feel less of a victim, and it is surprising how slapdash many people in what they consider to be positions of authority are, until they are challenged.
If you don't your feelings of injustice will fester and spoil your return to your club.

GAT they really don’t care if the Club folds. Their rules. The only ones to suffer would be the Club and its members.

It's a horrible thing to happen, you are more than halfway through your ban, the fact that those you work with in the club aren't the ones banning you & think it's daft (as indeed it sounds), must help.
Can't you take a good book & a flask of tea to bed, & if you keep obsessing (I call it ruminating - when my mind just turns it over & over like a cow chewing its cud) have a hot drink & read until you fall asleep. In the day, anything mindless (like hoovering or dishwashing or decorating), your mind can be obsessing, if it happens to me I choose 3 favourite songs & sing them from start to finish, probably doesn't do much for the neighbours but it quiets my thoughts.

Bluebelle I am the main officer at the club or was and will be again in a few weeks time. The other person who has taken over my duties in the interim is also a key officer so a bit overloaded atm. I describe how to do my side of things which I have done for years. They then do.

I find Sudoku helps but I can’t do that all night long - I’d have eye strain and a headache.Maybe that would take my mind off!

Would it help to think 'Well, if my words/point of view do not correlate with the governing body of this sports organisation, do I really want to be a part of it at all? If your article was factual and written from a balanced perspective, may be you are dealing with people who are not worthy of your time? If I had known 50 years ago that to simply walk away was the most powerful thing you could do, I would have done it many a time over the decades.

What a pity, Kalms have worked for me in the past.
Non medical cures are prayer or meditation.Hope you feel better soon.💐

Those things (Kalms and Bach flowers) never work for me either 25Avalon
This sounds horrible and I d leave but you say you won’t be doing that, when you say ‘You are the club’ I m not sure I understand

Oreo I tried Bach Flowers to calm me to go on the cable cars in Madrid. They did not work!

Ah I see.
There are some pretty good tablets called Kalms, give them a go.

Cossy

Whilst I completely emphasise, I too would be looking for another club.

I can only suggest something like meditation to try and reduce the “obsession” . If it starts to be “all consuming” then something like CBT might help

Of course, I mean empathise!

I am the club. It is not the club. It is the woke governing body. I will be running the club again in a few weeks time. I just need to cope until then.

I certainly wouldn’t be doing any more work for the club after something like that either.

Cossy

Whilst I completely emphasise, I too would be looking for another club.

I can only suggest something like meditation to try and reduce the “obsession” . If it starts to be “all consuming” then something like CBT might help

I agree

I do so sympathise with you Avalon. Remember that it is the minority idea that is usually right.

The admin of the sports club was probably being defensive.

One thing that can help is a quick body reset: press your thumb and middle finger together, take a long slow breath out, then look for five blue things around you. It sounds simple, but it can calm your body and slow down the racing thoughts.

Another idea is a kind of private psychodrama — imagine the person who suspended you sitting in a chair opposite. Then say, or even shout, everything you’d like them to hear. Let it all out — anger, hurt, the lot. You don’t have to be polite; it’s for your ears only.

It can be a real release, and it helps stop the feelings from going round and round inside. 💙

I guess one has to see the lighter side sometimes.

The "political correctness" thing of - was it the 16th century? - was "What are you? Catholic or Protestant churchgoer?" Thinks - take a quick check at what the monarch of the day is and think "I'm whatever they are" and lie and say that. Otherwise you might be in for severe punishment of the beheading or something variety. Sighs - but I suppose things have moved on marginally since then.

Another "lesson from history" - being any nasty little person (probably female) who disliked a lone other woman could shriek "Witch....witch...she's a witch" about some perfectly innocent woman that Mrs Nasty didn't like and get the lone woman into all sorts of trouble (up to and including being murdered).

I suppose our century is a bit more civilised - it doesn't murder us just because of some harridan that doesn't like us shrieking at us......

We've just got that political correctness stuff and/or "Agh! We've just interpreted the perfectly okay thing Cariad has said as 'Agh - might affect our funding in this area - as we get a bit of it for saying all what are deemed to be the right things currently here' and they fall over themselves to hit you just-in-case (when I don't suppose the "sky would fall" for a second for saying what one has perfectly well been able to say until the last 10 years or so).

I've learnt by now that - in this area - I look over my shoulder before saying perfectly ordinary things I've said for darn nearly all my life to date and no-one thought a thing of it. Here - I check out who is within 10' of me to see whether to lower my voice in case of getting "bashed one". Full relaxation time is back where I'm from and talking to my own agegroup and then I speak exactly as I have always done ....as we're back to the convention of "Your personal opinion is your personal opinion - and you're entitled to it - of course".

Well done Lathyrus, that takes real courage. Let us know how it goes; good luck .

And then these organisations complain about the lack of volunteers nowadays?
People on the ground can only do their best. Sometimes that's no longer good enough 😐

NotSpaghetti I could have appealed but just to a higher woke section with the risk of “punishment” being increased and by the time it got there I would have served the 6 weeks anyway. It’s very frustrating and you have to police yourself not to do anything that could be found out apart from the things you can no longer access due to removal.

Cariad I don’t want to be identified as that could get me into more trouble but you have pretty well summed it up. The governing body don’t have to follow the laws of the land just their own rules where the woke rule. I’ve searched and others have been treated similarly to myself for nothing really. My club are not the bad guys here and they do deserve my help. Everything else you say resonates. Just got to get through this best I can. Maybe I should treat it like a panic attack - it will pass and I will still be alive.

So sorry to hear about your bad experiences. I guess it’s life and these thing’s happened but not nice at the time.

I know this isn't what others do but if the governing body is not behaving I think it's a bigger matter than just your club to be honest.

Is there a complaints procedure?
Is it a sport?
I'm afraid I'd probably take it further.

...I do know that's not what you want to hear but I feel strongly about injustice.

I would definitely collect "good things" in my head all day though - things that are positive
Reflections in water, raindrops on a window pane, a good cup of tea, a hug from a friend, clean sheets, the smell of toast...
Small gratitude always improve how I feel about life. The more you look the more you find.

Are you able to give the general nature of what happened? I'm imagining it's something that wouldn't have happened in the 1970s/1980s for instance - and someone is being very overly "politically correct" and obsessing about "hurty words"?

I should think quite a few of have had something similar somewhere along the line - I know I've had my own thing (ie sacked from two voluntary positions since moving here to Wales). I had loads of voluntary positions back in England - and no problem at all. So I know it's not my fault.

I guess that's all you can do - assuming that's the case - ie know in your own head that it's not your fault - it's just the "politically correct" era we live in sometimes.

Journalling....telling a trusted friend etc all have their uses.

Distance fades the hurt. So, as time passes, it softens/you come to see how ridiculous they were being (assuming it's one of those "politically correct" things that has happened). Time and distance sometimes provide a way to prove the phrase "Revenge is a dish best served cold". At the least one can talk dispassionately about what happened and compare notes with others who've had similar things happen to them and you do get the confidence to "tell it like it is" about what happened publicly.

Maybe it could be an idea to mentally stand back a bit and say to yourself "Do they actually deserve the work I've been putting in on their behalf? Do they deserve me helping them out again in the future? Could I find another organisation or something that does deserve my help?"

Go for it Lathyrus.

Wel, well, Avalon. Here I am at the meeting. There was no badge for me on arrival, “You didn’t say you were coming”(I did and then confirmed) and “the man” had already gathered his end of the table about him, full of bonhomie.

I have presented full of confidence and smiles to the others there and now look very busy, dealing with an important matter.

Just thought you might be interested 😬

25Avalon sorry for my misunderstanding.
If your committee are supporting you and you want to return then that's good, as long as the end result will be to your benefit.
Voluntary roles really shouldn't be this complicated should they!

Babs03 I so agree with everything you say. I know you are right. It doesn’t help I can’t step back completely. I still get texts and emails which I cannot reply to but forward to my temporary replacement who happens to live in the same house. Like Alice in Wonderland or was it Through the Looking Glass, Who gave herself very good advice but seldom took it.