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Stress

(36 Posts)
dollydaydream68 Thu 13-Nov-25 13:11:55

Thank you so much all the lovely grans who have given me advice re DWP, etc. it's really helpful.
Right now I feel so stressed with it all. Ridiculous I know, it's only minor inconvenience.
I'm getting in a tizz about renewing my driving licence now, in light of the hassle with wrong post codes etc.
I'm waiting for it to be rejected although seemed to go through ok on line so far.
Sorry for the rant , my poor DH. I think I'm going slowly mad xx

dollydaydream68 Sun 16-Nov-25 11:42:52

Need to give myself a good talking to and stop all this worrying. Stressed that tried to check status of driving licence. Put in wrong code and locked out. Hopefully as got confirmation of application and states in progress will get ok.
After all we're fit, healthy and family ok.bive got so much and all the rest is an annoyance but can be sorted. Thanks for listening

madeleine45 Sat 15-Nov-25 13:04:01

None of us know what each day brings. What you sailed through last week. Which was far more difficult than today's problem can just paralyse you today. This can be much harder. When you know that your decision will make a big difference to your life, it is so hard if you are not feeling strong. So,try to work out what is the most important, for you to get sorted, and think if you have either a friend who is knowledgeable about the subject, who could help you, or alternatively could you contact age concern, or citizens advice, who might be able to point you in the right direction. You do not have to take their advice, but it would be calming and give you away to take a step back. Even deciding that you don't like their ideas will help you to calmly choose something else. Good luck

dollydaydream68 Sat 15-Nov-25 13:02:11

Thank you all. I'm glad to know I'm not alone. It must be getting older. DH has tax demand now, so confusing. Think we'll just accept it as it's not a fortune

Silvergrand Sat 15-Nov-25 12:47:43

Dollydaydream68, just doing essentials can be so frustrating because so many people get things wrong. But I was surprised when after I had a stroke I had a telephone from the Red Cross asking if they could do anything to help.
When I said I thought they were for work in disaster areas, she said one of their roles was to help keep people out of hospital.
A lovely young person came round to my house and helped me find a cleaner (difficult in this area) and get a Blue Badge. She had lots of difficulties with the latter, but kept going until it worked.
The younger generation are more used to on-line stuff, and having to try different ways of doing things. I'm just wondering if the Red Cross might help you. Hope so.

Franbern Sat 15-Nov-25 09:29:34

I find that I get stressed much too easily these days. If anything in my home is not working properly I get really upset about it. I am fortunate that the daughter who lives close to me usually manages to sort these little problems out.

My eldest daughter (a high ranking mental health professional) keeps trying to get me to self=refer for CBT, etc. She says I am unreasonably anxious about small things.

I am pretty certain it is just part of the ageing process and no amount of talking therapy is going to prevent me getting anxious when my television is working properly, or something goes wrong on my computer, or printer, etc. etc.

I know how very fortunate I am to have a very comfortable home and life=style, and do try to control these feelings of anxiety when something stops working correctly, but usually to no avail.

FranP Sat 15-Nov-25 00:06:23

I have to do everything for my brother, simply because, with his stroke, he is not intelligible on the phone and simply cannot afford a computer or broadband.

His nearest library is Sooo unhelpful. It caused difficulties because if I call or log in, I often get redirected or refused because we live in different regions. My latest is trying to get his water bill reduced - the bills come to MY address, but they want to speak to him (despite us having already been through the permission routes a couple of times. Getting there by simply going online and pretending to be him.

Piskey Fri 14-Nov-25 19:57:46

I felt exactly the same - got the paper version thru the post, but thought I could do it online. ok until I got to the part about my passport details - as I had decided not to replace it when it ran out in lockdown.
Undaunted I took a ‘selfie’ and trotted off to the only shop in town that could print it off. Oh no - can’t do it off your phone, we have to take it, said this snotty nosed assistant. Took an identical photo, then charged me £12.00 for it. (£12 pound - when in previous years it had cost me £1.00.) anyway I attached it to my paper application and waited in line , at the p.o. Counter at the Spar shop for 30 minutes to post it (17 people in front of me and just as many behind and you can’t say anything otherwise it could be classed a verbal abuse) one young girl serving - very slowly.
Got my new licence about ten days later.
You will be ok - one step at a time. Good luck

4allweknow Fri 14-Nov-25 17:49:57

You feel you are not coping with all the paperwork, I was stressed during a shopping expedition today when I was trying to choose socks for a Christmas Stocking gift for adult sons. Unbelievable the choice. You are not alone!

Grandma600 Fri 14-Nov-25 16:22:33

As someone who is currently struggling with DVLA about renewing my driving licence in time for my 70th, I hugely appreciate hearing other people's stories. I feel much less alone, so thank you

dollydaydream68 Fri 14-Nov-25 15:55:36

Thank you all I'm trying to stay calm??

polnan Fri 14-Nov-25 15:22:13

gosh just reading down here I feel better, thanks gals.

mollyonamission Fri 14-Nov-25 15:11:04

Sorry. Predictive trxt! Should read - just download and it’s for …..

mollyonamission Fri 14-Nov-25 14:51:15

Hi Whiff. So sorry to hear about your health issues and especially your speech issue. Did you know that there is an App called Relay - youvjustcdoebloadcitcand purvis for people who are struggling to speak or have any impediment. My friend used it when she was having treatment for throat cancer - she said it was very useful. Best wishes.

knspol Fri 14-Nov-25 14:37:59

You're not being at all selfish, we all go through these periods where it seems as if everything goes wrong and you hit brick walls when trying to sort things out. Since being widowed it seems as if every little thing stresses me out and gives me sleepless nights, things that I wouldn't have even bothered about when my dh was here. Nowadays I feel like a nervous wreck and it makes no difference if I try telling myself these things aren't important. Take care and feel free to rant on here.

Trisha99 Fri 14-Nov-25 14:12:31

rosie1959

Sometimes on line applications can test the patience of anyone. I had to renew my driving licence recently and I had to go in person to a post office as I do not have a passport. But only selected post offices so a round trip of 20 or so miles to accomplish the task.

We had that problem when renewing ours about three years ago, the closest PO was in Boston (Lincs not Massachusetts!) a round trip of 50 miles. Lovely man in the PO sorted it all for us, took our photos and helped with the forms.
The PO was empty when we went in but we had to walk past a very unhappy queue as we left.

Hammo Fri 14-Nov-25 14:09:40

Oh my dear! I understand absolutely how you are feeling right now. Things seem to be so much more complicated nowadays- although technologically is supposed to make things simpler!! Keep smiling, big hug from me 🤗! Xxxx

LovesBach Fri 14-Nov-25 14:02:52

*Thank you so much all the lovely grans who have given me advice re DWP, etc. it's really helpful.
Right now I feel so stressed with it all. Ridiculous I know, it's only minor inconvenience.*
Not to you it isn't - everyone has problems of some sort or another and yours are the ones that are eating at you and causing you stress. However large or small they are problems, and can assume large proportions when we feel overwhelmed by many different things. I'm glad you sorted the DWP muddle, and doubtlessly you will sort your driving licence. Deep breath, listen to some calming music, and then tackle thaat licence again. Good luck. x

Kateykrunch Thu 13-Nov-25 17:46:23

I nearly decided to stop driving rather than the complete faff of applying to renew my Driving Licence at 70 and without a current passport. I found it really difficult but was told to persevere and did and happy to say, I am licensed to drive. You will get there, good luck x

MayBee70 Thu 13-Nov-25 17:24:21

I was a complete wreck a couple of years ago when my new passport went missing. Thankfully it turned up but it was a horrible few days.

Tizliz Thu 13-Nov-25 17:01:03

I tried doing my driving licence renewal on line with (I thought) no success. Gave up and filled it in by hand, posted it and when I returned from letter box there was the confirmation email 😡

dollydaydream68 Thu 13-Nov-25 16:56:39

I think it's because last week we had to call winter fuel allowance, it was wrong. I didn't exist as somehow post code altered on their computer.
Then had to call DWP to check info, yet again post code altered, that's why I had no letters and WFA was going to be paid twice.
Then HMRC to check info, again wrong
I don't know how an address can accept a wrong postcode.
Now it's DVLA. Fingers crossed.
Soo long spent on phone. Loosing the will!!

rosie1959 Thu 13-Nov-25 16:51:55

Sometimes on line applications can test the patience of anyone. I had to renew my driving licence recently and I had to go in person to a post office as I do not have a passport. But only selected post offices so a round trip of 20 or so miles to accomplish the task.

StripeyGran Thu 13-Nov-25 16:44:45

You are not selfish. We live in increasingly troubled and complex times.

Take your time, don't forget to breathe (!)

Ask for help if needed.

Ilovecheese Thu 13-Nov-25 16:41:40

Mr Cheese said renewing his driving licence was a real faff, so you are not alone with that one.

fancythat Thu 13-Nov-25 16:17:06

No, you are not selfish.

I am surprised more older people dont complain about such matters.
I have even seen it mentioned on another forum that has younger members on the whole.