Large or small presents

M0nica I agree - but only mentioned what one of my daughters does as an example of "what we don't know".

She does it because she can - and chooses to.

The boy had the same Lego kit already
Why doesn't the nice uncle ask in advance? Not criticising. Just a suggestion.
Don't think the cost matters, as the uncle has an acceptable reason for his price range.

Maybe it depends what it is?

I don't see the problem with extra nice lego, it's not pretentious or signalling anything, unless the parents have expressed dissatisfaction before.

Why should a niece or nephew expect a single wealthy uncle to give them money. My aunt and uncle, childless and with a saving nature always made it clear to my sisters and I that everything they possessed was going to be left to charity

I di not love them the less, nor care for them the less because there was nothing in it for me..

My friend does not contribute to his nephew's savings and I don't know if they actually have any.

Exactly, you DONT KNOW the family's private financial business. Uncle has been too discreet to inform you, because it's none of your business .

I don’t personally think it’s anything to do with you GrannyPauline
He sounds a great uncle doing the right thing not trying to outdo the lads parents

He knows the child and its parents better than you do and he's choosing to give what he knows will please the child and the parents feel comfortable with.

There is no price tag on good manners, sensitivity and consideration , and they have nothing to do with social class.

Things seem to change over the years. In our family we all had small gifts at christmas but at our birthday we had options. we could either have a party, an outing with two or three friends or a big present. When I became 11 I thought I was doing very well to go to Beverly swimming baths with 3 friends and then have a great picnic on the westwood, where my mother had made very good food but oh so posh, the wedgewood looking waxed picnic containers had come out and we had individual little trifles etc and meringues.!
We still stick to the smaller gifts at christmas but often used to do something like go to a pantomime or some outing too, and I prefer to see thought about what someone actually likes and would enjoy using, than just spending large amounts of money, that may make finances difficult.

Maybe he is just a skinflint.

grannypauline

My friend does not contribute to his nephew's savings and I don't know if they actually have any. The toy is Lego and the last time he took a smaller kit the nephew had it anyway.

Why are you attempting to impose your views on your friend? He sounds kind and considerate. Lego is ridiculously expensive these days.

My friend does not contribute to his nephew's savings and I don't know if they actually have any. The toy is Lego and the last time he took a smaller kit the nephew had it anyway.

My daughter puts money each month into the savings accounts of her nephews and nieces.
She gives them only very small gifts at Christmas.
She had been doing this for years before I knew.

It's nobody else's business.

I think that was kind and sensitive of him. Real 'class' has nothing to do with money.

As a family we have limits, we only buy small gifts or contribute to larger gifts.

We are all thankfully financially secure at the moment and don’t need a lot.

We need to remember the old adage “it’s the thought that counts”.

He sounds a very considerate uncle. Maybe he pays into the child's savings account anyway and doesn't need to tell you that.

I agree with corner.
Big presents is showing off IMHO.
On the other hand, the addition of premium bonds for various events gives extra and is a wise bonus.

Small.
As he says. Not good to outshine the boy's parents.

I’d go with small and if I wanted to spend more I’d add either premium bonds for the child or something for their saving account.

Personally I would go with small.

Others may disagree.

I was shopping with a friend looking for a present for his nephew
I showed him a large and quite pricey toy

He wanted to buy a smaller and cheaper version, even though he could easily afford the larger one
He said it would embarrass the parents if he gave something they couldn't afford .

He is quite wealthy and they are not. I thought it would be good if he could give better presents as he is the wealthy uncle, but he is always looking for cheap bargains.

This might even be a class thing. What do you all think?