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What to wear to a funeral

(55 Posts)
Mazgg Wed 31-Dec-25 18:02:56

My dsil's Mum died at the weekend and I will be attending the funeral next week. I haven't got a black winter coat and don't really want to buy one. Would it be appropriate to wear a dark purple (not at all bright) wool coat with black trousers, and black scarf and gloves?

love0c Wed 31-Dec-25 18:04:54

Yes, any dark clothing is fine and you seem to have black in there anyway.

adrisco Wed 31-Dec-25 18:07:00

That sounds absolutely fine. At my husband's funeral two years ago several women were not wearing black.

Ashcombe Wed 31-Dec-25 18:08:29

That sounds entirely appropriate. I hope the day will go as well as such events can do and my condolences on your loss.

Ashcombe Wed 31-Dec-25 18:10:07

Purple is regarded as the colour of mourning in the Christian church.

Fallingstar Wed 31-Dec-25 18:10:44

Have been to a fair few funerals in the past few years and black has never been the required colour though darker clothes tend to dominate though at one funeral we were asked to wear bright colours. Unless black is stipulated I think you will be fine.

Crossstitchfan Wed 31-Dec-25 18:13:13

I wore just about what you described to the funeral of a friend. To my surprise, I found that many mourners there were dressed just like I was! I think purple is taking over from black, and a good thing too!
So yes. You’ll be fine.

Pantglas2 Wed 31-Dec-25 18:13:34

I always think dark colours are acceptable unless the message is celebratory multi colour outfits are wished for by the family.

I’ve been to one and was terrified that I’d be the only person standing out…I wasn’t and we all looked glorious!

ferry23 Wed 31-Dec-25 18:18:33

Sounds perfect - as someone has said upthread - purple is an accepted mourning colour.

grandMattie Wed 31-Dec-25 18:23:30

Purple, navy, black, grey. But it depends on the family.

For the funerals of both my son then my husband people wore colours.

Astitchintime Wed 31-Dec-25 18:26:24

Of course, you’ll look perfectly respectable and respectful.

Mazgg Wed 31-Dec-25 18:33:11

Thank you all for your reassurance.

Shelflife Wed 31-Dec-25 23:11:22

Of course your choice of clothing is fine.

cornergran Thu 01-Jan-26 00:26:18

It sounds fine to me. Don’t worry.

GoodAfternoonTea Thu 01-Jan-26 09:00:13

I always think sober clothing unless it specifies bright colours and life celebration in the funeral notes.

Magenta8 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:11:15

I have been to quite a few funerals where bright coloured clothes were requested and some where people wore dark clothing but never has deep mourning black been stipulated.
I went to one where white or pale pastel colours were requested.

Visgir1 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:24:23

Think you need to ask the family for their choice, doubt it will be Black.

Willow11 Thu 01-Jan-26 09:38:58

I was at my mum's funeral and to be honest I couldn't tell you what anyone wore.
Just pleased that they attended to show their respect.

What you have described is perfect

Marydoll Thu 01-Jan-26 09:47:57

I have been to three funerals in the last two weeks. Not everyone wore black. No need to buy a new coat.

M0nica Thu 01-Jan-26 09:49:25

The need to wear black at a funeral seems to have completely disappeared. I have been to several funerals recently whee people just came in their ordinary clothes.

To wear black unless, you had close links to the deceased and, of course, in this case you do, was considered excessive.

Oreo Thu 01-Jan-26 11:25:02

I think black, purple, grey are all fine and respectful.

Allira Thu 01-Jan-26 12:10:15

You could ask if there is a preferred choice, I've been to a couple of funerals recently where everyone was wearing something blue (for Alzheimer's) or at least the forgetmenot flower badge.
Another family had requested mourners wear something red (can't remember the reason). They tended to wear a red scarf or top.

I'm sure your dark purple coat will be fine, purple is a colour of mourning.

fancythat Thu 01-Jan-26 12:17:08

Yes to the op.

I do find that areas can vary somewhat.
I can get caught out sometimes by having gone too black, or the other way around.

Whitewavemark2 Thu 01-Jan-26 12:35:32

I have a navy silk dress for summer funerals, and a dark green woollen dress for winter.

I never wear black.

Allira Thu 01-Jan-26 12:39:08

Whitewavemark2

I have a navy silk dress for summer funerals, and a dark green woollen dress for winter.

I never wear black.

My SisIL never wore black.
She wore navy to funerals, including DB's.