Is it the end of a long friendship?

Agreed

Maybe suggest meeting up for a nice hot chocolate somewhere you both like and say let's start again.

I'm sorry to say, but your friend is a dramatist. Out-of-date hot chocolate will not make you ill or sick, worst case sinario, it will taste a bit different. I've had hot chocolate that I forgot I had in my cupboard that was 2 years out of date (curiosity got the better of me, and I tried it ), that's how I know it's ok .

Very silly over reaction from your friend. If she continues to be sullen/funny about it I would just give her a wide berth. Hope your friendship is not spoilt but I'd question whether I'd want a friend behaving like this. Sell by/best before date is no big deal but not great for a present 😁. Powdered chocolate will last for a long time after sell by/best before date. Here is some info:-
Hot chocolate powder generally remains safe to consume for 6–12 months and sometimes up to 2 years past its best-by date if stored in a cool, dry and airtight container. While the powder rarely spoils, it may lose flavor, potency, or become clumpy, but it is typically fine to use as long as there is no moisture, mold, or off-smell.

I think she might be upset about something else because this seems like a bit of an overreaction. Did she get you something Especially nice for Christmas? Was she disappointed in her birthday present or last Christmas present? It sounds like she’s a bit resentful about something. Do you think she feels that she gets you nicer presents than you get her?

CFMP…We’re all waiting to hear back from you to see if the situation has been resolved!

If this is new behaviour, then perhaps something is developing.
If anyone was as rude as some of the descriptions given upthread, they would be ex-friends.
Hope it works out for you, and the others with tricky friends.

I would say that obviously you hadn't noticed it was out of date, or of course you would never have given it to her. Can't she give it back to you, so you can take it back to the shop and get a refund, because they are the ones at fault, because they should not be selling out of date goods. You can then buy her something else or more hot chocolate with a use by a date that is way ahead, Or maybe she has thrown it away, in which case I would just buy her something else, although I don't see why you should have to spend any more money when it is not your fault it was out of date, but the shop's fault, but then they wouldn't have any evidence if she's thrown it away.

Have one more try with her if you want to remain friends. What about sending a nice card saying you would like to treat her to a coffee and cake or something you know she would enjoy. It’s up to her after that. I hope she takes you up on the offer. 40 years, it’s a shame to end a friendship on such a simple mistake. Good luck.

I wouldn't have even told someone if this happened to me. I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings, obviously it was unintentional. I've received what I might call ''unsuitable'' gifts before or things not to my taste but I wouldn't hurt anyone's feelings by mentioning them I'd just pass them on or give them to a charity shop.

Not really the friendship you thought you had. That’s all I can say.

Maybe she thinks you were passing on an unwanted gift, how far past the date was it exactly?

I always eat use by date foods. As long as it looks good and smells good why not ?

It can be hard to understand why someone else reacts strongly to something we ourselves would not give a second thought to. The human mind is mysterious! From my perspective, this is not worth losing a good friend for. You and she might both feel the loss if you break off your friendship. You have apologised - maybe do one of the things suggested in this thread to show the sincerity of your apology, and let it go. I hope it can soon be water under the bridge. Living by being ready to understand seems to me to be happier than judging - none of us is perfect......

I am famous or rather notorious in my family for eating out of date foods and raw milk to their horror..and as I always say, and yet here I am at 78 never had an upset tummy or squits…or coughs and colds come to that…

Definitely an overreaction on her behalf. Perhaps you can give her the same exact gift but one that is in date or a replacement of something else. Let her know that it was the store's fault for selling outdated items and you had no idea that it was out of date. If that doesn't work, she may just want to be angry, and unfortunately, there is nothing you can do about that. Good luck

Wow that’s a bit of an over kill. As a good friend she should have known you would have never done that deliberately. If one of my good friends had done that the last thing I would do is tell them they were out of date.

I would just say once again that it was a genuine mistake, and then ask her to please stop bringing the subject up as it is upsetting you

I’m amazed I’m still alive!.

Silly overreacting friend. Tell her to move on and to stop talking about it and buy her a bar of chocolate. Just be sure that you check the date this time.

Smileless2012

TBH I wouldn't want to upset a close friend I'd had for 40 years by telling her that the gift she'd bought me was out of date, when it was clearly unintentional.

Exactly this!

You need to tell her that hot chocolate has so much sugar in in that although the taste might have been compromised a tiny bit it would of in no way poisoned her and that she is being very over the top. Either that or tell her to feck off.

My friends & I all decided long ago that we would no longer bother with gifts, as we all have everything we want & it’s too much trouble buying stuff. The only thing we do is treat each other to a meal out for birthdays.
But if one of us had inadvertently sent someone something that was past its best before date, it would simply have been a cause of amusement & hilarity.
The last thing any of my friends would do would be to accuse the absent-minded gift-giver of attempted poisoning.
I’d ignore your ‘friend’ until her sense of humour returns & if it doesn’t, you’re better off without her.

How sad and upsetting this has happened. But it was clearly a mistake. Had you had noticed the expiry date I’m sure you would not have purchased it. Remind your friend of your long friendship and that it was an honest mistake. Also remind her of all the years when gift exchanges had gone well and that to ruin 40 years of friendship over expired hot chocolate makes it feel like it wasn’t a friendship at all. If your friend values your friendship you will hear no more about it. If not, then perhaps you value the friendship more than she does.

M0nica

A good friend would have noticed the sell by date had passed - and not said a word to you. Just consumed it anyway or thrown it away.

That is what a good friend would do. Reach your own conclusion

I agree M0nica.
I wouldn't have said anything either.

I think she's definitely over-reacting ! However If you wanted to make it up to her I'd buy a plant and write a nice card & drop it off & leave it up to her now how she progresses. Good luck xx