Is it the end of a long friendship?

I’ve got a similar friend. If I were you I’d apologise for not being able to read the labels properly and offer another gift. Some people are highly strung and dramatic and don’t realise how they can offend others. Not worth losing a friend over.

Could it be the first signs that she is ill?

Or she is ill already and hasnt said anything to anyone?

Apologise and give her a box of chocolates and if she continues to complain give her a bit of space, there could be other things going on that you are unaware of.

Gran22boys

I’ve got a similar friend. If I were you I’d apologise for not being able to read the labels properly and offer another gift. Some people are highly strung and dramatic and don’t realise how they can offend others. Not worth losing a friend over.

I'm inclined to agree with this, although I would be very irritated by someone making a fuss about a well-intentioned gift. Out of date chocolate won't damage the liver or kidneys, even if it is stale. It just won't taste quite as good as fresh. A short time out of date won't matter at all.

It's not worth falling out over though. As her for them back, and get her some bubble bath?

Your friend obviously has the right to express their annoyance at something, but an out-of-date, non-perishable (assuming it was in powder form) item given through a genuine mistake isn't the end of the world. Your apology should have been enough, especially after 40 plus years of friendship.

You say 'sell by date'. It's usually a 'best before' date or 'use by' date now. If it's 'best before' and within a few months, it should be fine. If it was a 'use by' date, then it isn't deemed safe to use.

My personal belief is her reaction is a little harsh. However, you say she can be judgemental and difficult, so maybe her reaction shouldn't have been entirely unexpected.

I would suggest writing an email (if that's how you can communicate) asking for clarification on the date, and what type it is (best before v use by), and reiterate the fact it was a genuine mistake and you would never wish her any harm.

I hope you can resolve this and stay friends. I have a mate who has been my pal for nearly 40 years and I'm almost certain he would accept it as a genuine mistake. And most likely rib me about it.

Just to add, I'm not suggesting your friend should try drinking the chocolate, I'm just saying I think she could have reacted in a less confrontational manner.

You said the sell by date had expired. That's not the same as best by or use by dates.

Whittards on Does Hot Chocolate Go Out of Date?

www.whitakerschocolates.com/blogs/blog/does-hot-chocolate-go-out-of-date?srsltid=AfmBOoohaAUBp8-eF7rpwjVP6Wku2_hmIw1qRIvm9PSCWt8fdsv0ee04

The worst that could happen would be sickness, with symptoms like stomach ache, vomiting, or diarrhoea which one can get from any food stuff.

She's overreacting but maybe a lesson in not buying gifts too far ahead of time, if that's what you did.

For goodness sake!! She’s not much of a friend is she??!

A similar thing happened to me. I bought theatre tickets for a long standing friend's birthday and because the show wasn't one she wanted to see she simply stopped talking to me. She once bought me a pack of M&S white full briefs for Christmas and I was horrified (myself being a bikini or high leg kind of girl 😄) but I didn't say anything to her.

Elless

A similar thing happened to me. I bought theatre tickets for a long standing friend's birthday and because the show wasn't one she wanted to see she simply stopped talking to me. She once bought me a pack of M&S white full briefs for Christmas and I was horrified (myself being a bikini or high leg kind of girl 😄) but I didn't say anything to her.

Knickers are certainly a strange gift for a friend.

I had a friend who always gave me odd presents, things that I couldn’t think why she would buy me that. I was a bit slow to realise that she was passing onto me her unwanted gifts. So, my solution was to say no more presents we’ve both got all we need, let’s just do cards. It worked.

TBH I wouldn't want to upset a close friend I'd had for 40 years by telling her that the gift she'd bought me was out of date, when it was clearly unintentional.

These people are a bit flaky, getting upset by such things.. If the chocolate was out of date i would have gone back to the shop for a refund then given her the cash and said bye bye.

I'd never dream of giving a pack of briefs as a present Elless your friend sounds very odd

Surely your friend should have known you wouldn't have bought her an out of date gift on purpose cfmp?
It saddens and baffles me, how you think you've known someone for years but something as trivial as an out of date gift can cause a rift in the friendship.

I had, what I thought, a 'sister/friend' for 60+ years. It was always a brittle kind of friendship, I would choose my words carefully or risk the odd upset if she didn't agree but I always thought we'd be forever friends. Then we got into a conversation about Trump, she being a devotee and me the opposite, we couldn't agree on anything. Next thing I knew, she texted me to say we could no longer be friends and I haven't heard from her for two years now.
The gist is, you think you really know someone but the reality is, you really don't

Blimey I wouldn’t even have looked at the dates on a gift !!
So if anyone’s sending me anything out of date don’t worry I won’t even notice it 🤣

Elless
How very awkward 🤔

Could you have taken them back to M&S and swapped for some you liked. I'd never dream of buying knickers for anyone as a gift.

Hatty05darling

For goodness sake!! She’s not much of a friend is she??!

She was rude, thoughtless and unkind to OP .

A good friend would have noticed the sell by date had passed - and not said a word to you. Just consumed it anyway or thrown it away.

That is what a good friend would do. Reach your own conclusion

Did you offer to take it back to the shop you had bought it from? Did you actually see the date on the packaging? I am wondering if she got the dates mixed up as in it was stamped for 2026 making it not out of date till this year , it's unusual these days for items to be sold out of date or did you purchase it and put it away months in advance.

A dear friend gave me a lovely little gift bag stuffed with good quality chocolates (Hotel Chocolat) bars of Lindt and Suchard chocolate. I was very pleased - until I discovered that they were all out of date. Not just by a little. Some were over a year past use by date. I must say that DH and I thought it was hilarious and wouldn't dream of mentioning it to the lady concerned.

Agree with M0nica.

Yesterday evening I made us both a hot chocolate drink from a container of drinking chocolate. It didn’t occur to me to examine the date. I’ve just been and looked. It’s 18 months after the best before date, tasted fine and we’re still here.

I wouldn’t fall out with a friend over this. I’d mention it and we would have a good laugh about it but falling out is just pathetic IMO.

Anyone can make a mistake and if the OP’s friend can’t see past her own small minded entitlement she’s not worth the energy.

cfmp you have already apologised to your friend. There is no need for you to do any more, other than maybe buy her something to replace the hot chocolates. 💐 If she continues to berate you for your ‘oversight’ I’d be inclined to give her a wide berth until she calms down and stops droning on about it. 🥱
Is there any chance that she has an underlying condition which might explain her over reaction?

How much do you value the friendship?

Is she someone you enjoy spending time with who you look forward to meeting up with?

Are you comfortable and yourself when you’re with her?

Can you laugh with her cry with her discuss your problems with her knowing they won’t go anywhere else?

Does she discuss her problems with you?

That’s the only friendship I’m interested in nowadays.

This sounds very sad, but I question how much of a friend she regards you being? I would never say things like that to a friend I valued- you just throw the chocolate away or drink it.

I would be very hurt if my friend treated me in this way.

I hope you manage to heal the rift because good friends need to be treasured- but maybe she isn't that good a friend after all? She isn't treasuring you.