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Changing my name at 68

(38 Posts)
LaCrepescule Wed 08-Apr-26 05:55:03

I got married at 45 to my daughter’s dad. She was born with my surname and I took his name and changed hers because I wanted us all to share it.
It’s an unusual name and doesn’t go with my forename and people always pronounce it wrong. I’ve had a yearning for years to go back to my lovely birth name - it’s Irish and I’m very proud of being the descendant of immigrants to Australia. But the pfaff of changing it back would be considerable would it not? Has anyone done it?

Wyllow3 Thu 09-Apr-26 07:56:24

I so understand.

This may seem weird, and I'm not in anyway criticising anyone, but neither time I got married did I want to change my name. It was like giving my identity away in some way.

Having said that, (as I said above, my son got my name and DH's as middle name)

I would not have done it for my son's sake if it had not been historically OK to do it, post changes in attitudes to women, especially in the circles we moved in. Result, a crop of DGC in my surname, and my brother managed two as well.

Sparklefizz Thu 09-Apr-26 08:30:16

WithNobsOnIt

I was thinking of changing my name to Pussy Galore just for the fun of it.

Cleopatra and Marilyn Monroe eat your heart out.

When I told my AC I was changing my surname, my daughter said "Why not be inventive? Sinatra? Minogue?"
Nah! Too much faff and never been a pretentious person, so I reverted to my (boring) birth surname.

paddyann54 Thu 09-Apr-26 12:29:14

I live in a small town where I grew up ,I meet people every day who know me by my maiden name ,most recently at a funeral .I was approached by a man who I didn’t recognise who asked me which one of the daughters of A L R I was.
His dad played golf with my dad from the 60,s to the early 90,s when he died.
Being boring I like being Mrs Paddy,I ,veshared his name almost 51 years and our children were registered as his.
Changing back to my maiden name doesn,t make sense to me.
I’ve spent all my adult life with this name. I,d be swapping one man’s name for another man’s name …why? I,m perfectly happy being his wife.

Norah Thu 09-Apr-26 13:06:14

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

NittWitt Thu 09-Apr-26 13:19:49

tanith

I once counted up the people I’d need to inform and when I got to 30+ which included pension providers, car tax and DVLA, land registry, utilities, banks, solicitor, local council, mobile phone, all my online purchase companies doctors,hospital the list grew and grew. I wish I had the patience. Well done those that have.

It's astonishing how many people say this sort of thing yet consider name change on marriage to be an automatic choice.

FriedGreenTomatoes2 Thu 09-Apr-26 13:59:07

Norah

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

Our Yorkshire Lass married 3 years ago after living in civil partnership for 10 years. Her younger sister said oh your first name goes so well with what will be your married name. YL was horrified at the suggestion!

“I’ve got a name, I’ve had it 45 years and it’s who I am. I’ll be married but still want to be ‘me’”

We are all different in our choices. 😊

kjmpde Thu 09-Apr-26 14:05:49

I'm the other way round. I've kept my birth name albeit married for 46 years. It is difficult to change your name in modern life. My mother hated her Christian name and when she applied for her passport she crossed the name on her birth certificate and put her desired name. Now you would have to go through several hoops .

FranP Fri 10-Apr-26 21:15:26

Juicylucy

I did mine after my divorce as I’m an only child and wanted to honour my dear dad. It’s very easy to do I did my passport and driving licence first. Go for it.

Yes, doing formal id first will be useful for others

Marbelous Tue 14-Apr-26 22:23:58

I didn’t want to keep my Narcissist ex husband’s name so I decided to go back to my real maiden name. I say real because my dad was the youngest of 4 children. They all had the same surname. But the interesting thing was their father died in 1938 and my dad the youngest was born 2 years later!

My granny must have married my dad’s real dad eventually because she had the surname I have now when I knew her. I suppose for those days she was what would have been known as a naughty lady! Intriguing…

Norah Wed 15-Apr-26 12:57:08

FriedGreenTomatoes2

Norah

Currently, do women still change surname, at marriage, as often as in the past? Our daughters didn't even consider new names when marrying.

Our Yorkshire Lass married 3 years ago after living in civil partnership for 10 years. Her younger sister said oh your first name goes so well with what will be your married name. YL was horrified at the suggestion!

“I’ve got a name, I’ve had it 45 years and it’s who I am. I’ll be married but still want to be ‘me’”

We are all different in our choices. 😊

I agree. My name is mine, always has been.

Changing names at marriage seems far more common when I married -- than currently. Our daughters never changed names either.

Lesley60 Thu 16-Apr-26 22:06:15

I never had this problem as I married someone with the same surname, I was quite disappointed that I never changed my name

Caleo Sat 18-Apr-26 09:17:40

I kept my ex -husband's name One, because I continued to respect him .Two, because I liked my inlaws. Three ,because I like the name .