Happy with your lot?

It sounds like you are absolutely exhausted. And the blow of the building work not working out for you. thats hard to cope with, a big disappointment.

Maybe your parents need more caring help to "take the weight off"

Maybe you need to limit the childcare you can offer now.

It's hard to work out what might make you feel better when there are so many calls on your time.

You might only find out when your commitments to all those family members is more limited. It's hard to disappoint others.

It is nice to have the support of a counsellor when you are trying to work out, "what do I need to do to make my life better".

I'm sad for you DH is a moaner.
Has he always been this way, or is the pressure hitting him too?
Its hard when you cant "be there for each other"

I agree very much about the gentle exercise, especially if it's calm and mindful, like a chair yoga class. And any practical help which helps with your parents.

You are doing too much. Looking after elderly parents can be exhausting. Do try to get help in that regard.
I agree with your DH about the cost of eating out. It is ridiculous. We have had 3 short breaks in the last year where we stayed on excellent holiday parks self-catering. This was out of season for the parks as children were still at school. The freedom and fresh air was wonderful and the whole thing cost far less than staying in hotels. Even a change of scene for a couple of days works wonders. We are planning to do it again. Truly, a change is as good as a rest.

If you are not enjoying helping out with the grandchildren, given the state of your health, could you do less with them? It must be exhausting.
Another vote for speaking to your GP.

Thank you all 💐
Mobility is very limited, so walking is restricted.
I feel like i should be doing more with my days when i don't have the children, but on those days I'm shattered!
I do like a crime series, so will often watch those. I do read.
We don't particularly have money worries but feel my other half can take the shine off things by moaning about costs etc. As i said we just went away but he moaned about the cost of lunches, evening meals etc it's not something we do regularly as we don't go out at home.

I am sorry you feel like this, narnia, and I wish I could help.

My suggestions are practical - please check that all your parents (and you, of course) are receiving all the benefits to which they are entitled. They might easily qualify for Attendance Allowance which is not means tested. That way you may be able to buy in help to care for them.

AgeUk will offer you advice on all practical things.

Narnia please see your GP .
I too am feeling a bit low, for different reasons. I am older than you, done my share of baby-sitting, still do actually, but family dynamics are getting me down.
My consolation, for us both, is ………..this too shall pass

PS if caring for your parents and Grandchildren is too much, try and chat to your relatives about help.

I’m 67, poor health, bad mobility, but luckily retired.

I cared for both my dear parents, whom I sadly miss.

Things will improve. Please see your GP and see if he can help with your feelings, you may have depression or anxiety or both.

Do make time for yourself, and fresh air and walking is great for clearing your mind.

Join a gym or a club or find a hobby, something you’d really enjoy and maybe something new.

Good luck

Narnia, I just wanted to say, well done for reaching out on here, about how you are feeling - that’s step 1.
I am sure others will come along with fellow-feeling and helpful suggestions.
Have you had any counselling or ‘talking therapy’? It sounds as though you have a lot to deal with on top of your own health problems.
Also, an exercise class appropriate for your health condition, might give you a boost - I’m thinking chair yoga or other gentle or seated exercise.
In the meantime, know that there are many lovely, caring people on here who will want to offer their support.