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Mum & money

(14 Posts)
mokryna Sat 20-Jun-26 14:35:29

She is probably remembering when it was difficult to host family meals, Christmas, when money was tight.

sodapop Sat 20-Jun-26 13:22:27

I agree with everyone else, your Mum is just doing her bit to help. Offering money is easier than looking for a gift which you probably wouldn't want anyway.
Given with love accept it in the same way.

HeyGirl Sat 20-Jun-26 13:17:37

I expect your Mum wants to 'do her bit' to help and if it's not practical help it is money instead. I would accept it gracefully with a hug and use it to treat yourself as that's likely what she'd want. My parents used to give me money we didn't need, it was a gift given with love and now I take joy from doing the same with my daughter and SIL.

HelterSkelter1 Sat 20-Jun-26 12:43:11

Maybe as PP says they have disposable income which is not being spent. Accept and say thank you, you dont need to but it will pay for the wine or dessert. And put it towards the next bottles of wine.

I often do the same for my AC. I dont think they are offended. Often say its petrol money especially when DD2 has a long drive to visit us regularly.
My Dad did the same for me!

Dont be offended....life is too short to take offence.

petra Sat 20-Jun-26 12:42:35

Your taking away your mother’s joy of giving. Accept gracefully.

Greenfinch Sat 20-Jun-26 12:33:16

When my son in law offers to do things for us like taking a load to the tip I always give him the petrol money even though he says there is no need . I have never thought of him being offended. It is just that we have more disposable income than they do and I like to preserve some measure of independence.

fancythat Sat 20-Jun-26 12:25:52

Cossy

I think your Mum is simply being gracious, giving and thinks this is a nice way of thanking you.

Accept the money in the spirit it is being given. thanks

I agree with this.

You could say "you dont have to, or need to do that".
But she may still do it anyway.

LauraNorderr Sat 20-Jun-26 12:13:01

Don’t be hurt or offended. I do this sometimes with my family. We have moved to a small flat so can no longer reciprocate, we are often invited a day or two before so not much time to arrange a contribution.
I feel better about accepting if I make a contribution. I just transfer a sum and say nothing. when they thank me I just tell them it was such a lovely meal and I’d like them to treat themselves as a thank you from us.
I never thought about them being hurt or offended. Crikey, I hope not.

kittylester Sat 20-Jun-26 12:03:18

Would she normally have brought something like a pudding or a cake but doesn't feel up to doing that now?

Please don't be hurt or offended or tell her tgat you are. Xx

Cossy Sat 20-Jun-26 12:00:10

I think your Mum is simply being gracious, giving and thinks this is a nice way of thanking you.

Accept the money in the spirit it is being given. thanks

TerriBull Sat 20-Jun-26 11:54:38

I don't think you should feel hurt, maybe they were of a generation who found laying on a very nice meal for guests would be a strain on the finances. Aside from that aspect, guests often bring contributions wine, chocolates anyway. Just thank her say "I appreciate the gesture but I don't need it".

Enjoy the lunch regardless.

dragonfly46 Sat 20-Jun-26 11:49:31

Perhaps they have been used to giving you money for things in the past. I often offer to pay for my son's train ticket etc as he is having problems at the moment.

Calendargirl Sat 20-Jun-26 11:47:09

Perhaps she feels it’s their way of contributing, if you are cooking etc?

Maybe years ago they were the ones doing all that.

If it makes her happy to give you some cash towards the meal, I would thank her and accept it graciously, but say there is no need.

Their company is what you want.

Mel1967 Sat 20-Jun-26 11:43:51

Good morning,

My parents are coming for dinner, tomorrow, for Fathers Day.
We are a small family just myself, Husband, Son & my parents. No parents on my Husbands side.
My parents 83 & 85.
Not quite sure why, but after I’d invited my parents, my Mum said don’t worry we’ll give you some money for dinner.
I felt hurt that she would say this.
Surely it’s more important that we are all sitting down & eating together, as a family.
This isn’t the first time that this has happened.
What do others think 🤔