Help with some diplomatic wording please

Your nurse is used to general public. Many in your situation would be saying they don't want to see her because the other nurse is better, or blaming her for doing it wrong all these months.

You obviously really appreciate her but having bandaging done slightly differently made a big difference to you.

Could you just tell her what you've told us, adding that you hope the compression has been sufficient & there are no ill effects on healing? & is there any way you could continue with the same regime as it's made the bandages so much easier to tolerate...

Ask her if the other nurse used a different bandage, and if she asks why, just say it felt different.
She's bound to want to know a bit more...

I completely understand where you are coming from as I had an infected haematoma which had to be removed and left a deep wound which means I need to attend my surgery twice a week to have it dressed and my compression stocking changed. I should imagine bandages are less comfortable but I would tell your regular nurse that you have been more comfortable this week and could it be because the bandage was not so tight.
As far as your notes are concerned do you have the NHS app? Under the heading Appointment notes you should be able to read what each nurse has done and why. I occasionally have to see a different nurse and find these notes very helpful.
I do sympathise and there is probably a reason why you need the bandage but you could ask about the stocking. I found my first one very uncomfortable but then the nurse gave me a slightly larger one which made all the difference. You do need to discuss with your regular nurse how it is making you feel. There may be alternatives.

My sister has been in a similar situation for a long time. She has district nurses come in twice a week. She loathes the bandages and pulls at them constantly. But they welcome her feedback as they know they can be intolerable long term. She will not be offended at all. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to change to the other nurse as your usual one will adapt her way of doing it. Tell her exactly how and why you think it felt better. I promise you she won't mind at all.

ferry23

Some of you may remember that I cut my leg around 19 months ago and there followed a horror story of the treatment I received. (I think I became known as Leg Lady!).

I'll not go into chapter and verse about what's happened since then, but it has never properly healed. I've had ulcers and I now have lymphoedema. I am back in compression bandaging as the wound has reopened. I have the most marvellous nurse at the wound clinic she's an absolute star, she's a senior wound specialist nurse.

However I absolutely hate any type of compression on my leg and it's all a bit of a depressing slog. Because I have such difficulty tolerating it they now let me go twice a week so at least it comes off every few days and I get a new one. I hate it so much it has had a very negative effect on my mental wellbeing.

This week my nurse was on a training course, and her replacement (again, a lovely lady) listened to me and we had a conversation about my tolerance of my compression.

The bandaging she did has been the best I've ever had - that's not to say I like it but I haven't been cutting into it at 3 in the morning and tugging at it and generally hating it. While it's normally 1 out of 10 for my tolerance level, I would say this one has been 6- 7 out of 10.

How on earth do I tell my usual nurse when I go tomorrow? I'm hoping the replacement wrote something on my notes, but she may not have done as it may just have been routine as far as she was concerned - she wouldn't have known what a difference it was going to make. I really would like the bandaging to be as near to hers as possible but I don't want to upset my usual nurse.

Any words of wisdom so I don't offend her?

How did you cut your leg?

Must be even worse with the weather being so hot. I can’t bear having things touching my skin either. You have to say something but do it in an upbeat way ‘you know I don’t know why it is but the other nurse must have used a different technique and it felt much better’…I’m so sorry to hear that you’re still suffering .

MissAdventure

Ask her if the other nurse used a different bandage, and if she asks why, just say it felt different.
She's bound to want to know a bit more...

... good advice!

That way, there's no implied criticism.

ferry23

Bandaging must be so uncomfortable in this weather. Is the wound healing?

Thanks everyone - great advice here!

Dickens - the wound has healed twice but re-opens.

MT62 Therein lies a tale - I knocked a dining table chair over - went to save it falling to the floor and scraping against the wall, but managed to scrape the underneath of the leg down the front of my leg. It wasn't too bad. I put a plaster on it but a couple of days later it seemed to be getting worse so I put a large adhesive dressing on it. When I took the dressing off I managed to rip the skin off the back of my leg.

The original wound is not so troublesome - it's where I ripped all the skin off that's the problem.

Unintentionally self inflicted I'm afraid.

You have suffered enough. Just mention, politely, what a difference the temporary nurse made and would it be possible to have your leg bandaged in the same way. Surely the endgame is getting your leg better so hopefully your regular nurse will oblige.

Let us know how you get on today.

Yes - I remember the saga of the leg and what a very bad time you went through.
So sorry to hear the problems are continuing.

Good advice here.

As Greenfinch says - do let us know how you get on.

Hi everyone,

Well, I explained in a way that most of you suggested, but my nurse seemed a little reluctant to engage with me. I asked her if she could just take a look at what she was taking off to see if there was any differences. There's a student nurse there at the moment who backed me up (as much as she felt confident in doing so) and said that she thought replacement nurse may have used a different kind of padding.

Anyway, I think my nurse took heed, she did a bit of mumbling but at the moment it seems ok. She's on holiday now for two weeks and she said there could be a possibility I'll be discharged before she comes back - and one of the nurses standing in is the one I had earlier this week, so it works in my favour.

Thanks everyone for all your wise words.

Thanks for the update ferry. I do hope things improve for you x

You have my sympathy. My dog accidentally sliced my calf and as my skin is like tissue paper, I have a 4 inch wound. I am having to wear a compression stocking and I hate it. I feel like my ankle is in a tourniquet. I cannot put the damned thing on as it required stronger hands than my arthritic ones so only get it changed by the nurse. I also have to sit with my leg elevated. I am assured healing will be much quicker if I follow the rules. Night time is the worse time, throbbing wound and boiling hot!

It’s another reason why I’m putting off having a knee replacement as my skin is very thin, bruises easily and takes forever to heal.

Gin

You have my sympathy. My dog accidentally sliced my calf and as my skin is like tissue paper, I have a 4 inch wound. I am having to wear a compression stocking and I hate it. I feel like my ankle is in a tourniquet. I cannot put the damned thing on as it required stronger hands than my arthritic ones so only get it changed by the nurse. I also have to sit with my leg elevated. I am assured healing will be much quicker if I follow the rules. Night time is the worse time, throbbing wound and boiling hot!

Have you tried any of the sock aids? There's several different types and when mine healed the first time and I had compression stockings I did find it helped - I too have arthritis and I know how difficult it is to try and get them on and off.

All that said, I have now had 4 pairs of made to measure compression stockings and all have been too long ankle to knee - I do have short limbs. They seem far more concerned about the girth and not the length. And I hate the bl**dy things.

I have been seeing a private lymphoedema nurse (clinic won't see me with an open wound). She has sourced me a compression wrap with just two velcro fasteners that can be cut to size. That's probably what I'll have to have when the bandages can come off.

There's something about compression in general that makes me feel I'm a character in a Dickens novel hobbling out of the workhouse. Mrs Cratchett maybe.

Once I was tripping around the financial district in Manhattan in my Manolos, now I'm watching daytime TV and wondering which funeral plan to have. This getting old is certainly a barrel of laughs.

ferry I have had compression bandages on both legs for months. Sorry MayBee mine started gradually having 2 TKRs over the years. One of the side effects is excessive itchiness and I scratched both legs which started the lymph running. My left was the worst and I had a large raw area on the front and side, above my ankle. Because of the rawness I couldn't tolerate compression bandages and I cut them off after 2 hours. The R) was fine.

That leg has only a small area, nearly dry and is no longer painful so I can tolerate compression bandages. I was aware that compression heals but it is a catch 22 when one can't tolerate weight.

I am fortunate, although the DNs come x2 a week, when desperate I can do my own dressings and apply compression bandages. A DN only comes because I am partially sighted.

If you need any help/advice please PM me.

Compression stockings are only measired after the leg (s) are dry.

My legs are so itchy I know the same will happen again once I have full access to both legs.
I have 2 comp. bandages applied and the District Nurses cant understand why I need to wear slippers or shoes. One aslked me why I had to go out! Stay in for 365 days, I dont think so.

I think there are a lot of side effects from some operations that aren’t mentioned. Which is why my consultant didn’t push me to have the TKR, especially as I’m in no pain when I’m not walking. A friend of mine developed lymphoedema after a TKR ( although she still doesn’t regret having it done).

I certainly don't regret having my ;) knee replaced. I would be bedridden or worse by now if I hadn't. I can understand the Consultant wavering.

I can live with the lymphedema, I wear trousers all the time. I can't live with the itchiness and a bucket load of antihistamines would barely touch it. I am going to the Vascular Clinic next Wednesday and I will not be fobbed off.

I am bumping this because I don't think ferry has returned.

Yes I responded upthread

I remember your original post - what a nightmare you've had 💐

You could say something like:

“I wanted to mention something from last week. While you were away, the nurse who covered for you bandaged my leg a little differently. It was honestly the most comfortable I’ve been in compression. I still don’t enjoy wearing it, but I wasn’t awake in the early hours desperate to pull at it, which is a huge improvement for me. I wondered if she’d left any notes about what she did differently, because if we could replicate it, it would really help me cope.”

Or even more simply:

“Can I tell you something I’ve noticed? Last week’s bandaging was much easier for me to tolerate. I don’t know exactly what was different, but it made a massive difference to my comfort. I’d really love to see if we can work out what she did.”

That approach:

* acknowledges that your regular nurse has been caring for you,
* doesn’t criticise her technique,
* focuses on improving your care,
* invites her to investigate rather than putting her on the defensive.

If your regular nurse is a good clinician, she’ll probably be pleased you’ve found something that helps. Compression only works if people can actually tolerate wearing it, so knowing that a small change improved your tolerance from “1 out of 10” to “6 or 7 out of 10” is valuable clinical information.

I’d also mention just how dramatic the difference was. Saying something like:

“Usually I’m awake at 3 a.m. wanting to cut into the bandages, but this week I wasn’t.”

is a powerful, factual description of the impact. It’s not a criticism—it’s evidence that something changed.

From what you’ve written, you’ve been finding this treatment really hard, and having even one week where it felt more manageable sounds like a significant breakthrough. It’s worth speaking up about, because if your regular nurse can reproduce whatever was different, it could make the coming weeks much more bearable.