Would you think it was odd if a younger person wanted to befriend you?

I am 68 my youngest friend is 16. Most of my friends are 50-94. I like having a mixed age range . My youngest friend starts college next month . I like mixing with all ages and sexes . My best friend we have been friends 50 years have another friend we meet when we were 10 .
If someone wants to be my friend what they see is what they get. I am just me but because of disability my life runs by planning and routine has done since I worked out how to cope with life at junior school. Anyone who does what to be my friend I do tell them how my life works and then they can decided if I am worth being friends with me.

I did end a 5 year friendship 3 years ago . I had explained how my life works. She said she understood. She let me down told if she does it again we are done . She did so I told her our friendship is over.

I am a loyal friend who cares and help my friends in anyway I can. I am down to earth and if you ask my opinion about something I always ask do you really as I speak my mind . I never lie simple fact I don't remember. But I am lucky have wonderful friends who take me as I am .

Age should not matter, you will find people come in and out of your life and some you just connect with and get on. I. I think it's good however to mix with people of all ages. I wouldn't think it at all odd to get on with someone much younger than me, Have you an interest that sound enable to mix with people of varying ages? That would be a good start.
Can quite understand how you feel, sending you a ((hug)).

I don't think age matters, although naturally we have more in common with our own generation. One of my best friends ever was 21 years older than me, and for a while I had a really interesting friend who was 20 years younger. We had a massive falling out, sadly.

I’m 62 and my best friend is 81. We first met at work and stayed in touch. She’s almost as old as my late mum would have been but I never see her as a mother type figure, just a friend.

I would happily befriend you and help with your family!
Do it if you can

When I was younger and first joined a Rambler’s walking group an older lady befriended me. It was intentional on her part because we shared a common interest and she wanted to pass on all her knowledge. That worked very well until she died. On more than one occasion I had to assist her as she got older. Which I did gladly as we had a good rapport. So I think it is the shared interests which are important. No the age.

I have friends of a wide range of ages. Since I retired though I mostly socialise with other retired people, but that's only because we are free during the daytime as younger people are working. Many of the people I see regularly are those with similar interests as I go to a number of craft groups but there are a few younger people who come. It mostly comes down to having interests in common. If you are doing something you enjoy with like-minded people, age really is just a number!

I am retired now but when I was working one of my roles was to interview, employ, train and nurture the apprentices. It was a role I loved. One particular young woman was interviewed and taken on, she was like a sponge soaking up all the information, learning her job and bringing new ideas to the team during team meetings. This particular young women was offered and accepted a role within the company, she thanked me for all her training and she said that I was just like her mum, looking out for her, she said, “yes you are my work mum” many years later she still sends me a mothers day card every year and we meet for lunch or shopping or an evening meal. There are 30 years between us and yet it has become a very precious friendship between us. I met her mum, she has met my husband and daughters and recently visited to meet a new great grandchild of mine. We can chat about anything and everything and recently she supported me through a very difficult time.

Im 58 and my closest friend is 38. Nothing odd in seeking out older women for friendship and support.

My closest friend was old enough to be Mum. She had no family but I knew exactly where she was leaving her considerable wealth and it wasn’t to me! 😂 Her friends, one in particular, was very suspicious of me and bordering on nasty. Be prepared OP!

Apart from the fear by relatives that a younger person befriending an older may have financial motives there is the worry that the younger may be guilted into being a carer. Every so often there are threads on Mumsnet by someone who became friendly with an older neighbour and found themselves being sucked into an unofficial PA or carer role.

This happened to me when I first came to live in this area and its so easy to get sucked in. You do a kindness for someone - in my case helping them with a benefit form. Then they ask you to make phone calls, go to the post office, do bits of shopping. In the meantime you have a full time job and your own busy life. There comes a time when you have to assert your boundaries. This is why I now have minimal contact with neighbours. because its difficult to avoid them. With a physical distance you can always manufacture an excuse.

I would be quite happy to be friends with a much younger person. In fact my next door neighbour, who has only lived there about a year has become a friend. She is in her 30s/40s with a five year old daughter. She has invited me out when going to the shops and I have enjoyed going with her. Her mum died last September, so maybe that has something to do with it. She works from home for herself, so I suppose easier for her than someone having to working full time in different premises. She is a lovely friendly person and I'm happy to be her friend. They are renting and want to buy their own house some time, but if and when that happens I hope we will still be friends.

I do still have my Mum and have a sister and friends but my own kids are older teenagers or away at Uni so need me less. I volunteer once a week at a place where there are a lot of older women. My own mum is getting older and 'needs' me to help her a lot but I always find going and spending time with the volunteer older ladies really refreshing. They will sometimes offer a view of the world/situations which is different from mine and some are really helpful when I am dealing with tricky stuff about my Mum and can give a different perspective. Likewise they might talk about their teenage grandchildren/tech issues/ other stuff with me. I find them fun/wise to chat with and always come away feeling uplifted so I totally get where you are coming from OP. I never realised I needed a group of older ladies in my life until I went here.

I volunteer with Age UK, and I befriend all sorts of people who are lonely. I had to have referees and do a police check, so I think that I can be trusted. They enjoy it, and so do I; they are very interesting to talk to and usually older than me.

You could contact Age UK to see if they run a befriending service. I used to do it until the lady I was matched with sadly died aged 101! Towards the end it was mostly me supporting her to enable her to go out, but I definitely valued her wisdom and experience throughout and we had fun! Age UK will match you by interests etc.

Sorry just read the post before mine. Great minds... !

Years ago I worked self employed as a temporary PA to people with disabilities. Gave it up to look after 1st grandchild but I'd become very friendly with one lady. We met for lunch regularly and she visited my home, met my family etc.
Then the late night calls started asking for help and expected me to drive 7 miles across town. It started occasionally but frequency increased as time went on. She even asked my OH and sister if I wasn't available. It was a favour no money offered for petrol or anything. It because almost every night there was something. In the end I explained we couldn't help anymore as we had a lot going on. It was quite obvious she was saving money by contacting us and not her regular PA or the agency she used.
Take care who you make friends with as some people will just want to use you and its a difficult situation to get out of.

friendlygingercat

Apart from the fear by relatives that a younger person befriending an older may have financial motives there is the worry that the younger may be guilted into being a carer. Every so often there are threads on Mumsnet by someone who became friendly with an older neighbour and found themselves being sucked into an unofficial PA or carer role.

This happened to me when I first came to live in this area and its so easy to get sucked in. You do a kindness for someone - in my case helping them with a benefit form. Then they ask you to make phone calls, go to the post office, do bits of shopping. In the meantime you have a full time job and your own busy life. There comes a time when you have to assert your boundaries. This is why I now have minimal contact with neighbours. because its difficult to avoid them. With a physical distance you can always manufacture an excuse.

My public -spirited elder sister ( in her late sixties and early seventies) got sucked into something like this. Her neighbour was even older than my sister and the lady's relatives were in N Zealand and prevailed on my sister through phones texts and emails to do the supportive work that they themselves should have been doing or else move MUM out to Kiwi to live with them.
Generally I have friends 10 years younger than me and I'd have no problem with other younger friends provided the friendship arose naturally out of shared interests etc as someone said earlier here.
The OP sounds nice and genuine and not creepy but in theory someone looking for "an old person" to befriend to vampirise (is that a word?) their wisdom and life experiences etc would put me off.

Jeccaevs

This probably seems like a strange query. But I would really like to befriend some older women. I’m in my thirties and in the thick of it with two toddlers. My own mother died before they were born and I have no remaining females in my family since my Nan died a few years ago. My friends all have their own hectic lives working full time raising young children too- I am also the only one without a mother or any kind of matriarch figure. I guess the needy part of me just wants someone older than me to tell me everything will be okay because I’m kind of tired of having to figure absolutely everything out myself whilst also being the person all the rest of my (male) family come to for help. Having said that, this isn’t a tiny violins plea for someone to ‘rescue’ me- I genuinely value the wisdom of older women and I enjoy their company. I used to work with a few but I changed jobs and relocated and I miss seeing them. So my ask is, would you consider it strange if someone younger wanted to be friends?

You might be interested in this:
adoptagrandparent.org.uk

I've never really thought about people 'wanting' to be friends. It either happens or doesn't.

I have always had friends of all ages - they may have been neighbours or work colleagues or people I met at the gym, parents at my childrens' schools or at parties. But they were people I had something in common with, whether it was a skillset or a sense of humour.

If you have any free time I would suggest joining a club/evening class/anything where there are women for you to become friends with. Maybe it's not older women you need, just women who are not going to wear you out further.

I feel the question you have raised is a little subjective. A younger person befriended me many years ago and I ended up marrying him. There is a two year age gap between us.

Hello Jeccaevs, The strange thing is that we even consider that question in the first place, but I know where you are coming from. I was so fortunate when my children were small. I had a friend, neighbour who was fifty years older than me, part of an elderly couple with no grandchildren of their own and two gay sons. Her friendship was like gold to me. She was my angel in disguise. My substitute Mother. She adored my children. and they adored her. Now, I am older than she was when she died, and I often think to myself how I could benefit a younger Mum with children.......history repeating itself? So when I read your post, I was thinking that it was going to come from someone older asking that very question. I suppose it's the luck of the draw whether you meet someone. I'm not surprised at all the negative responses because that is how life has become now. Ignore them and just be friendly. I also had lots of older friends....I felt more comfortable with older women, but now I am older I don't meet those older women anymore because I am that older woman. I'm also that older woman that has no grandchildren and often think of how I was when my children were small and I was in that position without a Mother. Perhaps you could start a website.....adopt a gran....or something like that. A lot of work when you probably don't have a minute to yourself. Do you have any neighbours that you could make a friendship out of? Don't ever be too shy to ask someone round for a coffee just to see how they are with your children, because they must come first.

I have just been made redundant at a company where I was the oldest at 66 years, all the staff speak with me still and we meet up, the youngest is 18 and cried and cried when I left x

I met someone who was in her late 60's when I was 50 and we became very good friends. We shared mutual aquaintences but seemed to be on the same wavelength/sense of humour. The only problem is that now I am the old woman and she has died.

I am 81 and have recently found a telephone friend. She is clearly a lot younger than me (20s I suspect) and we will never meet. Also we no nothing about one another and part of the arrangement is we cannot disclose any personal details. However, we have a really stimulating telephone conversation once a week, she's a lovely young lady and a delight to chat to. We get on so well considering there must be quite a few decades between us!