Would you think it was odd if a younger person wanted to befriend you?

No I don't find it odd.
I find that younger people enjoy talking to me about art .
Sometimes they talk to me about relationships.

In my 60s I did some re-training and found myself to be by far the oldest person on the programme. I expected to be spending the lunch breaks by myself but a hard core of around six much younger people ranging from 30-40 took me as a person with significant experience and made a beeline for my company. That was ten years ago and they are still my very close friends. I've seen their children grow from toddlers and their friendship has endured.

I also recall when my grandchildren were at school and I would pick them up, that many of the other mums became friendly and expressed their sadness that there were no older relatives in their children's lives as they had left their original home cities for university or jobs and made their lives away from family.

I don't think age is an issue. If the friendship works it works.

I take my toddler granddaughter to a group on the day I mind her. The adults are a mix of young adults and grandparents. We have been invited to join some of the mums at activities during school holidays, ie play dates at the park, it’s lovely to join them and a good way of finding things in common.

I think it's healthy to have friendly relationships with a variety of ages. My book group has women ranging from 25 to about 68. I also know my DD38 has a good relationship with one of her co-workers closer to my age.

Sometimes it's hard to take the relationship out of the original situation though; suggesting coffee or a walk may open it up to new level.

I would love a younger friend, but everyone I know is my age. One thing I really valued when I was working was the mix of ages. I think its really good for broadening your outlook and seeing things from the perspective of others. When I was dog walking 'my' family had young children and I loved seeing them and hearing about their lives. Sadly when the dog died the contact withered on the vine.

I have friends of all ages so no. I think especially since you have lost your mum and gran I think it's a win win situation

Well it depends on what one means by "friend". I love meeting younger people and chatting to them in their 20's and 30's at the gym and in. my Quaker meetings but as regards friends as such well there is a 40 something and its a real friendship, we click - that's my children's age.

But I must admit that I have often preferred older women friends, I mean older than me, tho now I am 75 its more like peer group friends.

Just liked older people I guess I was a daughter figure to some and had sort of mum replacements as my own - we got on OK but were never close.

Similarly the 40 somethings I know now - I guess they sort of like a mum figure a bit? Just like I did....and sometimes the really young ones in their 20's love a sort of warm gran person

There have never been any money issues except for a dear friend when I was in my 40's she was in her 80's and we were very close.

One day she apologised for not leaving me any money - another so called "friend" had out some pressure on (she had no children). I was shocked, it hadnt entered my head, me and then husband were working and fine. All well, I did her funeral oration and cried a lot, and it was very special.

But in my late 40's I did and art degree and have still what I would call dear aquaintences from that time who of course were much younger. Christmas cards, round robin type, face book. I suppose that's like work friends people describe above.

A nice gym with mixed ages and a social scene is a great place to meet people from all ages, as are good faith spaces whatever your faith is, if you have one.
I've been a member of my gym for 22 years. so, well, know many.

I completely understand how you feel. I emigrated to the UK, so my parents were abroad, then they both died in my 30s when I had young children. I felt pretty much like you do. I enjoy friendships with people of different ages and am a mentor for people of all ages for a charity now I’m retired. I think if you found the right person, they would enjoy contact with you.

It would seem very natural to me, as in my previous home town I was literally the matriarch of a large group of friends, some of them over 20 years younger than me. I live in a 55+ community now, but still have lots of friends outside that community much younger than me. I hope Jeccaevs finds her new “older” friend.

I don’t think it’s odd at all, neighbours come in a range of ages and I have had good close friendships with older and younger women all my life.

Are you male or female, can't your partner be your best friend

Well my view of life is, to always begin by expecting everyone to be decent and honest . Woe betide anyone trying to con me as they will get short shrift. But I have lived in many countries and moved a lot, so as the newcomer you always have to find your way around anyway and make the effort.

So there have been the odd times when I have backed off , but at 81 , new friends have been an important and enriching part of my life. In fact I am reminded of meeting a lady in her 80's when I was about 40, walking along a promenade at the coast, when I had just moved to the area. She was very fit and interesting, a widow, who still drove and made the most of her life, and every week she used to take some of the "older ladies" shopping in her car ( she turned out to be the oldest in age of the lot) So we became great friends, saw a lot of each other, shared gardening and walking and many things, most of all neither of us cared a fig for fashion or shopping. Our idea of a great day out was to go to the dales or go swimming or rock pooling. We would wander along footpaths and climb over stiles, when she would jump down, but always say to me "dont tell Gay (her daughter) that I am doing this.

We remained good friends until she died, she was a wise and kind friend to me, and she also ,I know, appreciated joining my family for meals or trips out. She was very independant, but if there was a problem , my husband could check her car or the fuses etc. My son was at school at that time, and I am sure benefitted from her part in his life. So we moved back to Yorkshire, where life went on and I used to do 3 days a week hospital car volunteering, then drove the little white bus up Swaledale and met many other people of all ages some of whom have become lifelong friends.

Now I have come full circle as I am the old lady. I still drive, swim, volunteer and go to a womens group which is welcome to women of all ages and we have a huge range from someone with a little boy of 1 year old, to a proud great granny. We are there to support and help and enjoy each others company. Age is as they say a number. I would be hopeless if I was a witness of a crime and the police asked how old the person was. I could be very precise about what they wore, how they walked etc etc., but how old they were , no idea!. So go ahead, dont overthink it, but dont make "plans" as to who you meet. If you think back to your friends you made in school, you just liked someone and carried on. So my advice is to carry on with your interests and you never know who or what will happen. So if you swim, walk in the park, go for coffee in Cafe Nero , play tennis, sew or birdwatch, carry on and you will meet someone that you connect with in one or other way, and enjoy it.

If you want to take things carefully, as with all the GN posters etc., I feel I have many friends on here, but if there was an opportunity to meet up, I would suggest that you choose a cafe in a town for the first actual meeting. That way you will be safe, should there be any thing that worries you. Arrange to meet in the cafe, so if you are there first you can find a table and sit with your coffee, not stand outside in the rain etc. Then remember that the person you are meeting for the first time, will probably be slightly apprehensive too. So with a bit of luck you will "click" and can spend ages getting to know each other, then maybe going on from the cafe to see an art exhibition or whatever appeals at the time. If sadly, what seemed to be great on paper, doesnt actually work out and you dont see it going anywhere, you can just enjoy having the coffee, then thank them for coming, and go off.

On the safety level, I would not give my private address if I had met them online or something like swimming. Keep to public places for a couple of times and then proceed to the usual way of things. So looking for an older person that might be a possible new friend, I would say do you belong to WI or go to church, or a keen needlewoman or whatever, you could join a club that interests you, where age doesnt come into it, rather the mutual interest. So go ahead at the worst you will have wasted an hour having a coffee with someone you dont wish to meet again. At best you may be lucky as I was, and find a friend for life.

I have met many people on GN, who if I had the chance , would like to meet them. Having been on various posts for a long time I feel I know lots about their lives and admire their many brilliant skills and abilities. So if I travel to their areas on holiday , or know that someone is coming to my area, I will definitely ask if they would like to meet up at a cafe. They may not want to, or not have time, but I will never be sorry that I asked. What have you got to lose by asking? There is so much appalling trolling and horrible social media stuff which seems to be based on greed, and selfish attitudes and showing off what you have etc, that I am sorry that I think that there are people who think that everyone is like that , but there are many really pleasant people in the world too. Good luck and hope you find someone who will also be glad to meet you.

I suggest you join your local WI or a similar type of group where you will find a mix of ages and can get to know people slowly.
My U3A groups are quite a mix of ages with the newly retired and those in their mid eighties, the first time since retiring I have been with such a mix of ages.
I’m the only female of my generation left in the family so I know what you mean

Well, I think it is a lovely idea. So many older people can feel that they have nothing to give further and this can impact on their lives.
So, if they can make some sort of friendship bond with you, then they can benefit from it along with you benefitting from it.
Lots of places to meet people of different ages. My lovely knitting groups ages range from thirties to mid-eighties (me). I am also part of a Chatty Cafe and there our regulars ages range from late twenties - a 90 year old.

Other way round, I'm 81 and hugely appreciate having younger friends and contacts as well as family.
And am feeling truly sad that a dear friend aged 65 (young compared with me) is dying of pancreatic cancer.

charliebb your account reminds me of "Dot" the lady I got to chat with during the pandemic. I was really sorry our talks ended so abruptly as I was never able to find out what happened to her. Only that Social Services had become involved and that she was "safe". I did try calling her several times at a later stage but the phone just rang out. Eventually BT said the number was no longer in use.

I hate unfinished business.

I would think there are many older ladies out there who would absolutely love to be your friend and be a little involved with your children. The problem is finding one! I have no sensible suggestions though!

I would certainly welcome such a friendship. When my children were tiny I made friends with my elderly next door neighbour. We became best friends. My children loved her, as did I. When she was ill, I was the only person she wanted to see. That was a huge compliment. The last friend to talk to her, and after she died her family told me that they were so glad that she had me as a friend. I think it is normal to make cross generational friends, and I always have had the great fortune to make such precious friends. It is a very special thing if you meet someone who you can relate to, and age really doesn't matter.

Sorry, am a bit late to the party here, bus just wanted to suggest you have a look at WIs in your area. There are some evening groups where the age of members will be varied and there may be groups covering many interests.
You would need childcare for the initial group meetings but it could be an option.

I did a one-term contract in a co-ed school. A couple of 17-year olds, a boy and a girl, asked me if I would teach them a language not offered by the school, and so we met every morning for 30 minutes. They were both somewhat "misfits" by adolescent standards, quiet, shy, extremely clever, he was gay. We became very good friends. The parents were delighted. The boy's divorced mum, a PhD in an obscure, esoteric discipline and the younger brother used to come to visit in the holidays. (We lived 100+ miles from the school-I commuted weekly.) The lad and DH used to sit for hours chewing the fat about the Russian Revolution, WWII, anything historical.. The mother remarked "Friendship knows no age." Very wise, very true.