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Please help me stay calm

(34 Posts)
LaCrepescule Thu 27-Aug-26 21:18:03

My precious only child, 26, has been referred on the suspected cancer pathway for a long-standing neck lump and has an ultrasound scan next week. The results will take a while to come back. I’m trying to hold things together for her sake but am catasrophising and my anxiety levels are sky high.
She lives an hour away with her lovely flatmate and is much calmer than me!
I’m keeping busy but it all seems a bit unreal. My friends are being really supportive but I don’t want to talk to them about it anymore, lest it becomes boring. Just looking for a handhold really.

crazyH Thu 27-Aug-26 23:31:56

Another thing, if it’s a long-standing lump, I doubt it’s anything sinister x

crazyH Thu 27-Aug-26 23:29:40

My daughter had similar - a lump on her neck. We went through an anxious couple of weeks - she was operated on within a few days. Thank Heaven , it was a non-cancerous cyst on her thyroid gland.
We’ve had a few anxious times, with lumps - with various members of the family. But, all turned out ok.
So , don’t worry too much - worst case scenario, treatment these days has advanced so much. Your precious daughter will be fine. Thinking of you all flowers

lovethepuppies Thu 27-Aug-26 23:16:12

It's always so hard not knowing and waiting for the answer. Maybe easier said than done but try to remember that usually they are being cautious and everything is just fine.

MartavTaurus Thu 27-Aug-26 22:51:58

Every best wish for your daughter. 💐
I hope the wait isn't too long and that she gets reassuring news.

Patsy70 Thu 27-Aug-26 22:43:04

A difficult time for you. My daughter had breast cancer in early 2019, so I can empathise with you. MacMillan were a great source of help and support. Your friends will be there for you and will not find it boring. All best wishes to you and your daughter. ♥️💐

MollyNew Thu 27-Aug-26 22:36:56

I would feel just the same. Sending you my best wishes flowers

J52 Thu 27-Aug-26 22:36:01

Hand hold and hugs here. I hope all turns out well. 🤞💐

LaCrepescule Thu 27-Aug-26 22:35:30

Bless you all. I’m going to try and get some sleep and face tomorrow with acceptance. It’s ok to be frightened and I can lean into my friends. I’m a recovering alcoholic in AA and so grateful to be sober.

BlueBelle Thu 27-Aug-26 22:31:09

A big hug from me too 🤞🏼🤗
Keep us in touch hopefully it ll soon be over and you can relax
💐

JenniRen Thu 27-Aug-26 22:30:27

Mine too 🙏

Ladyleftfieldlover Thu 27-Aug-26 22:29:09

🙏💐

merlotgran Thu 27-Aug-26 22:23:49

And mine. 🙏

ClicketyClick Thu 27-Aug-26 22:19:23

Another hand being offered 🙏

Ziplok Thu 27-Aug-26 22:18:54

Sending you and your DD my best wishes, and a hand hold for you 💐🙏

Susan56 Thu 27-Aug-26 22:09:01

🙏🏻💐

M0nica Thu 27-Aug-26 22:07:35

flowers

Gingerrice Thu 27-Aug-26 22:07:30

When my son was in a similar position I phoned the Macmillan helpline and they were so helpful .Its 0808 808 0000 and you can phone anytime between 8am and 8pm to speak to a nurse with lots of knowledge
I found it really helpful as my son refused to discuss anything . Thankfully that was many years ago and it ended well ...hope you also get a good outcome 🫰🫰

Grannybags Thu 27-Aug-26 22:06:23

Here’s a hand hold from me too flowers

Toetoe Thu 27-Aug-26 22:01:11

🙏❤️

MayBee70 Thu 27-Aug-26 21:54:28

I’d be the same. Hugs and flowers.

HelterSkelter1 Thu 27-Aug-26 21:51:41

So sorry to read this LaCrepescule. Always best to keep your fears to yourself until test results are completed.

It can be so upsetting to have friends asking all the time how is your DD. Has she had the result? I doubt if your friends are finding anything boring, but their questions and concern probably make you feel worse and then you may relay too much anxiety onto your DD. Step back if you can and give yout mind a rest.

Hopefully she will have not too long to wait after the scan for the results. Although there may be other tests to be completed depending on what is seen on the scan.
As others have said many many lumps prove to be benign. I expect you are fearing the worst, but try and be positive for your own sake and for your DD. She is on the pathway and all will be done.

dragonfly46 Thu 27-Aug-26 21:50:20

Yes I have just been referred urgently to a clinic but my GP has assured me he doesn’t regard it asparticularly urgent but a routine appointment would take months!

Doodledog Thu 27-Aug-26 21:44:11

My GP once said to me that he preferred it when he could make referrals later - ie referring wasn't the first stage of the process - as he knew what to say to get things prioritised. In my case it would have been that he thought he'd heard a heart murmur. The truth was that he wanted a heart scan that under the system he had to abide by was ow led by a cardiac team who were entirely unfamiliar with my medical history.

Who knows? Something like that could be going on with your daughter. I completely understand your terror, and would feel the same in your shoes, but we don't always know the full facts.

Please let us know how she gets on? And remember to look after yourself in all this? We are all here for a handhold whenever you need one. x

SueDonim Thu 27-Aug-26 21:42:07

Thinking of you, LaCrepescule. It’s a very hard path to walk. I hope there’s a sunny ending for you both. flowers

LaCrepescule Thu 27-Aug-26 21:39:29

She just wants to get on with her normal life and doesn’t want me at the appointment because she doesn’t want to make it “more important than it is.”
So proud of her. The GP was pretty awful, didn’t even tell her she was being fast-tracked and she only found out from the paperwork.
She’s already had a telephone triage appointment with a specialist nurse who took the full history and said she felt absolutely reassured but I know only a scan can confirm the diagnosis.