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Getting married again at 65

(31 Posts)
LaCrepescule Sat 10-Sep-22 13:24:38

I’m very much in love with the kindest, most supportive man I’ve ever met and we want to get married. We both own our own properties and I want to make sure that when I die or if we get divorced (just being realistic), that my daughter inherits/gets my house. I suppose we’ll need a pre-nup? Any advice would be very welcome.

Smileless2012 Sat 10-Sep-22 13:30:08

I don't have any advice but just wanted to say congratulations and wish you happiness flowers.

Barmeyoldbat Sat 10-Sep-22 13:34:48

When you remarry you will have to make a new will as your old one becomes invalid. Two ways of doing it, one leave to your daughter in your will but that doesn’t protect you if you get divorced so either a re.nup or have your daughter become a tenant in common with you on your house giving her a 50% share straight away. Anyway it goes without saying that a solicitor is your best bet for up today e legal advice and congratulations, my 2nd marriage was the best ever.

Witzend Sat 10-Sep-22 13:39:44

Are you in the U.K.? If so, I’m not sure pre-nups hold much water, legally speaking.

As for dying before he does, you just need to make a will to state your wishes. Best to do it shortly before you are actually married, just in case, because if you didn’t and the worst happened (say on your honeymoon, or before you’d got around to it) then AFAIK your new next of kin dh would be entitled by law to a hefty whack of whatever you had.

I do know of a couple where this happened - dying only 10 days after the wedding having made no will - and the fall-out was prolonged and very bitter.
A solicitor would of course be by far the best to advise.

LaCrepescule Sat 10-Sep-22 13:45:10

Thank you all. Yes am in the UK Witzend.

LaCrepescule Sat 10-Sep-22 13:46:14

And that’s so sad ?

Esspee Sat 10-Sep-22 13:46:52

I am in a similar position in that I have an OH who moved in 10 years ago. We are totally committed to each other but cannot get married because of the legalities.
I want whatever my late husband and I worked for to go to our children. My partner wishes his assets to go to his child. Unfortunately the law is that on marriage all assets are joint.
A pre nup isn't worth the paper it is written on.
You could see a solicitor with a view to transferring your assets to a trust but under no circumstances should you trust your partner to "do the right thing" should you die before him.

Norah Sat 10-Sep-22 13:46:52


Update your will to your intentions.

I'm not aware of all the rules, perhaps look into giving D a share now?

Esspee Sat 10-Sep-22 13:49:59

I believe a will is invalidated by marriage, when the combined assets become joint.

Germanshepherdsmum Sat 10-Sep-22 13:50:24

You can make a new will expressed to be in contemplation of marriage and that will survive marriage, but do use a solicitor. He or she can advise you on the extent to which a divorce court would take note of a pre-nup.

Lathyrus Sat 10-Sep-22 14:03:49

Prenups have no legal status in the UK.

Any previously made will becomes invalid a the moment of marriage.

You need a good solicitor who will talk you through all the possible scenarios and help you decide what is best for you.

I was in a similar position three years ago. We decided we were best not to marry but just live together. Neither of us were bothered about the emotional side of being married and it made much more sense in practical terms.

Lathyrus Sat 10-Sep-22 14:05:47

See. Germanshepherdsmum knows a lot more about than I did.

See a solicitor!!

grandtanteJE65 Sat 10-Sep-22 14:08:34

Congratulations! I hope you will both be very happy.

You certainly do need a solicitor.

Please take into account, especially if your daughter becomes a joint tenant in your house, how this will affect you, should you need to go into a care home, or indeed if your husband should need to.

Also in the economic crisis facing us all - can you really afford (you and your husband that is) to keep running two properties? And what will happen if either of you need or want later to sell one of the properties?

Please raise these points too with a solicitor.

In your place, I would also discuss the possiblitiy with your fiancé of both of you selling your houses now, retaining enough of the money to buy or rent a smaller house in both your names, and either placing the rest in trust for your heirs, or handing it over now. (You didn't say if he has children.)

I believe, but am not sure that if you place money or a property in trust for your daughter, you cannot claim it if you do divorce, or in the event of your daughter (God forbid!) predeceasing you.

Under Scottish law your present will is still valid after marriage. It is only in England that your will is invalidated upon marriage or re-marriage.

twinnytwin Sat 10-Sep-22 14:25:54

I heard of a case when the second wife (first deceased) inherited all the assets as the husband believed she would divide up the estate with his children. She didn't. I feel strongly that our children (2 each) should get equal amounts. Also if he remarried, his new wife shouldn't benefit from my childrens' share. The new wills, drawn up though a solicitor, cost a fair bit of money, but my estate is now protected - as indeed my husband's is too.

Ladyleftfieldlover Sat 10-Sep-22 15:18:46

My mother remarried after my father died and didn’t get round to changing her will. When she died my step father, being aware of mum’s wishes made a deed of variation so that my brother, sister and I inherited as mum wished us to.

Ali23 Sat 10-Sep-22 16:07:02

Will you continue to own 2 houses between you? If so you could perhaps write a will leaving your house and money to your daughter. He could do the same for his family.

MerylStreep Sat 10-Sep-22 16:32:44

We aren’t married but we are tenants in common in our wills.
We were asked if we wanted a 50/50 shares. We were told that we we could stipulate any percentage of shares we chose.

Katie59 Sat 10-Sep-22 18:22:27

The only way to be sure is not to get married, because if your spouse divests himself of his assets in whatever way he will get a share of your estate, whatever a prenup says.

A prenup only works with goodwill on both sides.

annodomini Sat 10-Sep-22 18:50:14

Does your partner have a similar problem? You might want to discuss property issues with him, and, perhaps, approach a solicitor together.

Fleurpepper Sat 10-Sep-22 19:29:43

A young friend lost her dad suddenly recently, and he just had got married to someone 'out of the blue', the mum having died fairly recently, Thank goodness he had redone his will when he got remarried, or their ACs would have had nothing at all to show for a lifetime of helping with the parents hard work.

Trouble Sat 10-Sep-22 19:49:05

Pre-nups will normally be followed in the UK provided it is comprehensive and you both have legal advice and it is agreed well before you actually marry. It is ideal for your situation.

You do need to be conscious that if you live together and say he dies first and you are say 92 and getting dementia and you are living in his house and renting yours out you may find it a lot harder than you think to have to move out. The same applies vice versa but if you are both clear and your respective children are kind and won't rush the survivor out you should be fine.


Germanshepherdsmum Sat 10-Sep-22 19:56:53

That’s dangerous ‘advice’, Trouble. Please rely on the advice of a practising solicitor OP. Don’t rely on anyone ‘being kind’.

Fleurpepper Sat 10-Sep-22 20:04:54


That’s dangerous ‘advice’, Trouble. Please rely on the advice of a practising solicitor OP. Don’t rely on anyone ‘being kind’.

Agreed! Only proper legal advice will do to protect yourself and your children.

Nannagarra Sat 10-Sep-22 20:15:56

Congratulations LaCrepescule. Yes, get legal advice then have a long, happy life together.

Beautful Sat 10-Sep-22 20:18:21

First of all Congratulations

Cut a long story very short, my advice is go through a solicitors with stipulations I read quite a few years ago , a man remarried, he was well off, left money to his son, then after he passed away his new wife changed the will, so his son got nothing & her son think it was a son, got everything ... nothing the man 's son could do ... so make sure everything is above board to save your daughters inheritance