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Mental health worry in grandchild

(50 Posts)
Rosie04 Mon 04-Mar-24 18:24:34

Over the course of the last month my grandchild who has just turned seven has suddenly developed OCD rituals and compulsions. These have escalated quickly and are now impacting dressing, getting ready for bed, walking etc. They were always on the mildly anxious side but the new development is worrying and stressful for everyone as meltdowns and distress follow when compulsions can’t be carried out. The parents have tried many avenues, GP, 111, visit to hospital A&E, eventually having to pay for a private consultation with a psychiatrist. Medication has been prescribed and they are on the waiting list for a private CBT therapist. ( CAMHS are assessing next week but the waiting list is so long so they cant rely on that as all research on OCD states that the sooner it is treated the better before the compulsions become entrenched. The family are exhausted and stressed and it is beginning to affect siblings. I know some of the basic principles re reacting to OCD behaviour at home - don’t accommodate their compulsions, don’t reassure, not reacting to the child’s distress etc. This is to gradually reduce the child’s need to carry out the rituals. Hoever these are not a parent’s intuitive reactions and are agonising to do. I believe OCD affects about 1-3 in every 100 children, some even younger. I’m sure someone out there will have experience of this in children. I’m very much looking for practical advice, positive experiences and hoping for some good news stories.Everyone’s nerves are shattered atm and struggling to cope.

VioletSky Mon 04-Mar-24 18:41:12

Children with OCD have intrusive thoughts/feelings that bad things will happen unless they do things a certain way

Behaviour therapy can be effective in teaching the child that nothing bad will happen if they don't carry out the compulsion but this really needs to be done under the guidance of an expert and everyone needs to be following the same strategy, at home, in school and anywhere else the child spends time

I hope help comes soon

Iam64 Mon 04-Mar-24 19:01:32

It sounds as tho your grandchild’s parents are doing all they can. The state of camhs the delays are a national scandal >. I’m sorry not to have practical solutions. The internet can become your friend at these times

Cossy Mon 04-Mar-24 19:06:43

Iam64

It sounds as tho your grandchild’s parents are doing all they can. The state of camhs the delays are a national scandal >. I’m sorry not to have practical solutions. The internet can become your friend at these times

I completely agree. My daughter, now 23, was referred to CAHMs when she was 14! Nothing practical happened until I paid for private psychiatric treatment and subsequent therapy, which is extremely expensive but I felt we had no option as her mental health was affecting her work and she had already self harmed in her teens and attempted suicide twice in her adult life.

I wish you and your GS the very best and I think the best thing you can do is be there to support the parents and any siblings flowers

Iam64 Mon 04-Mar-24 19:32:15

Cossy and Rosie04 - I know too many friends/family who had to go privately to get the help they needed. I apologise to anyone who believes I’m being political but - we used to have stretched but good camhs now we don’t

Jaxjacky Mon 04-Mar-24 19:54:00

I agree with you all CAHMS is a shambles, a generation of young people without help unless you can pay.

CoolGran55 Mon 18-Mar-24 08:29:20

Just a thought... have you tried looking into natural treatment? I believe a change to keto diet can be very effective for OCD as well as autism. Have a look on YouTube - Dr Berg.

Sarnia Mon 18-Mar-24 08:43:04

With the huge waiting lists for pretty much anything these days, if you can afford it, then going private is the best option and a much quicker route. Some autistic children have OCD as a trait so that may be the reason for your grandchild's behaviour. I have a granddaughter who would have had to wait 2 years just for an initial assessment for dyslexia and autism through the NHS channels. As a family we clubbed together and went down the private route. 2 and a bit years on she is now at an amazing specialist school and is a different child which not only helps her but those around her too. Had we waited in the NHS queue her initial assessment would only have just been done. I really wish you and your family well in the future and hope you get some help for your grandchild and yourselves.

Sarnia Mon 18-Mar-24 09:08:07

CoolGran55

Just a thought... have you tried looking into natural treatment? I believe a change to keto diet can be very effective for OCD as well as autism. Have a look on YouTube - Dr Berg.

Autism is considered by many top professionals to be genetic or a result of brain development in the womb. It has nothing whatsoever to do with food. I had a look at the You Tube clip you mention and it fills me with despair. Life for families with an autistic child can be an utter nightmare at times and they will search for anything that may help lighten the load in some way. Eating a keto diet, as recommended on this link, is not the way. Long term, this high fat way of eating can cause heart, kidney and liver problems. There is NO reliable scientific data to show that diet has any effect on autism. Please think before posting this sort of 'advice'.

flappergirl Mon 18-Mar-24 09:28:27

Autism and neuro diversity in general is almost always genetic.

Sarnia Mon 18-Mar-24 09:41:44

flappergirl

Autism and neuro diversity in general is almost always genetic.

Exactly.

Iam64 Mon 18-Mar-24 12:59:54

Sarnia

flappergirl

Autism and neuro diversity in general is almost always genetic.

Exactly.

Quite.

11unicorn Mon 18-Mar-24 13:23:06

I too recommend going privat for therapy if you can afford it.

Find out how long the waiting list for Cahms in your area is.
We had to wait for Cahms for 9 month for initial assessment, were told our daughter needs intensive therapy asap - 5 years later still no therapy offered and no intervention at all happened.
Be aware that Cahms will tell you that you have to stop private therapy as soon as Cahms assesses your child. Just tell them you stop when therapy with them starts. We stopped and I have very much regretted being bullied by Cahms into stopping private therapy when they never started theirs.
Cahms was a total shamble in our case but that is just my personal experience - others may have a better experience. Guess it comes down to postcode lottery again.

Greenfinch Mon 18-Mar-24 17:52:32

We didn’t find CAHMS particularly helpful for my GS. Appointments were sporadic and he was diagnosed with ADHD which he didn’t appear to have. The medication he was prescribed had little benefit and was detrimental to his very restricted diet. Either he grew out of it or he never had it as there is no sign of it now that he is a teenager.

DiamondLily Mon 18-Mar-24 18:14:18

My decorator ended up paying for private help with his teenage daughter. She was really severely ill - tried to kill herself, but CAHMS were hopeless.

If someone can afford to pay, it might be the best route.💐

karmalady Mon 18-Mar-24 18:21:38

CoolGran55

Just a thought... have you tried looking into natural treatment? I believe a change to keto diet can be very effective for OCD as well as autism. Have a look on YouTube - Dr Berg.

I am a huge fan of Dr Berg. The child may have something important missing from his diet, many illnesses are food related. Definitely is worth trying the natural aproach via diet. A child still has a developing brain

Iam64 Mon 18-Mar-24 18:30:18

The significance of diet has been shown in prison populations recently. Some recruits for the two world wars had small stature after poor childhood diet.
It in no way diminishes the need for a proper diagnosis of neurological or mh needs

JaneJudge Mon 18-Mar-24 19:12:08

Poor child. Has anything happened that may have triggered this?

I agree though, if you can afford to go private I would do that flowers

Truffle43 Mon 18-Mar-24 22:32:47

Our grandchild is awaiting a cams appointment, whilst in the doctors surgery her mum was offered the chance to speak with someone in a well being appointment where she was able to discuss the problems and stress of every day life with her neuro diverse daughter. What was more interesting they also have a well being practitioner for children where they can also talk and discuss things.It is not a solution but while they wait there is a listening ear and gathering of information towards future help.Perhaps your daughters GP offers a similar service. It may be worth a try as I know how the family life can be severely disrupted with a neuro diverse member.

nanna8 Mon 18-Mar-24 22:51:28

I can’t add much except agree it might be good to go private. I would be very,very wary of quick fix dietary solutions though I do know allergies can sometimes cause behavioural issues . One of my children , who is well and truly adult, discovered this.

annodomini Mon 18-Mar-24 23:51:56

It's against my principles to recommend private treatment, but I know that if a parent has private medical insurance through an employment contract, therapy for their children can often by provided, depending on the terms of the contract. In one case I know of, CBT was arranged on a weekly or fortnightly video basis and proved to be immensely beneficial.

Coolgran65 Tue 19-Mar-24 03:30:05

A cheaper form of medical insurance is Benenden, a subsidiary of BUPA. The monthly fee has just gone up to £15.50 for each family member. You have to be a member for 6 months before using them. Principally a diagnostic service. However, they have services which can be accessed immediately and self referred such as physio, GP telephone appointments and mental health. I self referred for counselling and was offered six telephone/zoom sessions.

I know this is not what the OP was asking but it could help stressed family members.

Iam64 Tue 19-Mar-24 08:44:05

Isn’t it dreadful that this government’s long term aim of pushing people to getting private health insurance, or paying for essential treatment the NHS no longer provides, is succeeding.
So many grandparents spending their savings on essential health treatments, especially for grandchildren

Sarnia Tue 19-Mar-24 08:53:22

karmalady

CoolGran55

Just a thought... have you tried looking into natural treatment? I believe a change to keto diet can be very effective for OCD as well as autism. Have a look on YouTube - Dr Berg.

I am a huge fan of Dr Berg. The child may have something important missing from his diet, many illnesses are food related. Definitely is worth trying the natural aproach via diet. A child still has a developing brain

With respect, please stop recommending the Keto diet as the way forward for children on the spectrum. Followed long term this diet can cause severe problems to the heart, liver and kidneys. Eric de Berg is a US chiropractor making unsubstantiated claims that food is the cause of autism. Much research has been done by properly qualified and experienced professionals in this field with genetics and brain development in the womb considered to be the cause. You may be fans of De Berg as is your right but to me he is a quack, spouting dangerous untruths.

Nandalot Tue 19-Mar-24 09:13:26

I agree that CAHMS as a service can no longer cope. Our DGS (13 and autistic) is really struggling. At night his intrusive thoughts are so strong that he cannot sleep. During his worst moments he barricades his door and threatens to kill himself with a plastic bag or throwing himself out of his window. My poor DD is up with him most nights and often sleeps on his floor to comfort him. She is a single mum, trying to hold down a job, fortunately WFH). She tried to escalate things with CAHMS after one particularly bad episode but I think until he actually attempts suicide he is still on the very long waiting list. She is looking for recommendations of private therapists in the area. School are very supportive (he has not been this term).
I feel for your family Rosie4 and hope you get the support that is needed.