Gransnet forums

Ask a gran

My 37 year old daughter

(11 Posts)
Alwaysworrying Thu 21-May-26 07:06:47

Good morning
I’m looking just to have someone listen really. Apologies for lengthy post.
My daughter is very poorly and l’m terribly concerned.
She has been bleeding for 4 months and has other worrying symptoms. She feels dreadful, her hair is thinning, she cannot go for even a short walk without tiring and becoming breathless. She has just cancelled a trip to Japan as she feels too ill to go and she’s had to take time off from work (she works from home and even that is too exhausting)She has also suffered from extreme OCD since she was 6 years old which has blighted her entire life in so many ways. So this latest physical problem is just so hard for her.
She has had to wait weeks for a GP appointment. The GP has told her to come back in 3 weeks time to have a pelvic exam as for whatever reason she couldn’t do it when she saw her, possibly because she’s bleeding but she’s been bleeding for months so she may still be bleeding in 3 weeks time!. Her ferritin levels have gone from 200plus to 17 (her iron is low too) and she’s now worrying she might have some sort of gynae cancer and to be honest so am l.
She lives 90 miles from me-l don’t drive and am waiting for back surgery myself.
I have offered to go and stay but she says she wants to be by herself, she doesn’t want me to visit as she said she feels too poorly. She does have a boyfriend who seems nice but he’s only been with her since last year and l think he may find it all too much. She never asks for help, she says she doesn’t want to trouble or worry me. She is a lovely girl who l love very much. I feel so concerned, l know how busy the GP’s are but her care has seemed (to me) rather sporadic. Her GP has said that a ferritin level (iron store) of 17 is within normal range; however this time last year she was at 220 which seems a massive drop. I did a FaceTime with her and have never seen her look so ill. This unfortunately is the only doctor close by and my daughter doesn’t drive. I did write to the GP explaining that l didn’t expect them to be able to discuss her case with me but l was very concerned. I got no reply and this was several weeks ago. I suggested yesterday that she attends A&E but she said she felt too ill to sit for hours waiting. I just feel like my user name suggests so horribly worried. Thank you for ploughing through all this!

Aveline Thu 21-May-26 07:22:43

Could she phone the NHS 111 number and explain her problem? They'd be able to book her an appointment at the local acute receiving unit?

fancyflowers Thu 21-May-26 07:25:00

All this sounds concerning and I'm not surprised you are worried.

You say that she has been bleeding for 4 months. Why didn't she go for a GP appointment much earlier?

If the GP won't see her for another 3 weeks then surely she is better waiting a few hours, or however long it is, in A & E, rather than waiting 3 weeks for the GP?

If she feels too ill to go, she should call an ambulance.

Would her boyfriend be able to go with her?

Erica23 Thu 21-May-26 07:36:40

Your poor daughter she sounds very anaemic to me. The thinning hair and breathlessness are classic symptoms. She needs to either make another Dr appointment, preferably a different one to last time, or call or visit a walk in centre.
The continuous bleeding needs investigating. You don’t say how old she is, could it be the menopause ? Even so it needs looking into. I hope this is soon sorted and your daughter improves and you can have some peace of mind.

Erica23 Thu 21-May-26 07:38:16

Sorry just seen she’s 37. Maybe not the menopause then. Please encourage her to find some help.

Grandmabatty Thu 21-May-26 07:43:03

I had a similar situation in my early 40s. Thinning hair and excessive bleeding for me was connected to an underactive thyroid and peri menopausal symptoms. She will probably be anaemic if she's been bleeding so long. It may not be anything more nasty but she absolutely has to go back and speak to a doctor.

luluaugust Thu 21-May-26 07:46:17

It sounds as if she has got to a point where she can’t help herself. Could you ask the boyfriend to take her to a walk in or A&E the waits aren’t always long. Failing that could you go and take her. I think this will be the only way

Sarnia Thu 21-May-26 07:48:45

When you read something like this it is no wonder that people go to A&E.

Carenza123 Thu 21-May-26 07:52:05

She needs to be seen asap - the best way to do that is phone 111 and she will be guided what to do. She WILL be seen if she goes to Urgent Care.

EkwaNimitee Thu 21-May-26 07:52:15

I agree with the above comments but as for the ferritin score, 220 was rather on the high side. I have genetic haemochromatosis ( the body absorbs and stores too much iron in various organs which is bad) and have had blood taken to get the ferritin below 100. One of the symptoms is also thinning hair. I'm not suggesting she has this condition though, just not to worry about the ferritin levels. Something more seems to be going on here.
I certainly think she needs more urgent action than the GP seems willing or able to provide.

Alwaysworrying Thu 21-May-26 07:54:28

Thank you for your replies.
To answer a few questions-she did not wait four months before trying to get a doctors appointment she filled in an econsult form many weeks ago, followed by a second one-it’s virtually impossible to get through on the phone, l tried myself and never got answered. She finally after days of attempts got through to ask about it; she was told that she was in a queue to be triaged and it may take a few weeks. She has actually been proactive in trying to get help. I also wrote to them, (her GP) asking for someone to contact her as she wasn’t getting a response but heard nothing back. I cannot understand why it has taken so long for her to be seen. The OCD that she suffers from makes life also very difficult for her and things that you and l might find straightforward and easy, she struggles with. She has been under a mental health team since she was a teenager for this.I have now suggested that we try to find someone privately to see her. There are just the two of us so it all feels quite overwhelming.