Don’t know what to say

Never been out in this position, so just wanted to wish you luck

Hello Mell, I've never been in this situation but didn't want to not respond.

I think all you can do,having given your opinion, is to tell your mum that the decision is her's, that she must do what she feels the most comfortable with and that you'll support what ever decision she makes.

And, if she decides to go ahead, you will help her recover as much as you are able.

You have to tell her firmly, but kindly that you have had a family discussion and she knows everyone's take on the problem, but no one can make this decision but her and no one is going to make the decision for her, but when she does make a decision everyone will support her wholeheartedly..

M0nica

You have to tell her firmly, but kindly that you have had a family discussion and she knows everyone's take on the problem, but no one can make this decision but her and no one is going to make the decision for her, but when she does make a decision everyone will support her wholeheartedly..

Yes! 👏

Unfortunately my husband was in this position. On being dragged very reluctantly by me to a AAA scan offered by the NHS at 65 they discovered an AAA of 7.5 he needed Surgery ASAP. He wanted to leave and wait and see but I made him go for all the tests and scans needed to plan the surgery the consultants were ready to go in 6wks, but his AAA had other ideas and ruptured late on a Sunday night. He was in pain I was terrified as I knew what it meant. Long story short dash to hospital surgery successfully carried and he was home in 4days and fully recovered in 2mths.
Sorry this is so long but if I were you I would encourage your Mum to see the consultants then be led by the them, its very major surgery and they are best placed to give their honest opinion.

M0nica

You have to tell her firmly, but kindly that you have had a family discussion and she knows everyone's take on the problem, but no one can make this decision but her and no one is going to make the decision for her, but when she does make a decision everyone will support her wholeheartedly..

Yes, that's pretty much what I was going to say too. At the end of the day, it has to be her decision - and whatever decision she comes to, the family has to respect her wishes on that.

M0nica

You have to tell her firmly, but kindly that you have had a family discussion and she knows everyone's take on the problem, but no one can make this decision but her and no one is going to make the decision for her, but when she does make a decision everyone will support her wholeheartedly..

Such good advice from Monica. I’d add that make sure your mum and also the family have all the data and figures to hand, so that the decision can be made on facts and not simply assumptions or fears.

Wishing your mum and your family the best.

It's no ones decision but your mother's to make. But does she really understand what the consequences are of not having the operation? If it was me I would be camping out outside the hospital until I had my op in case anything happened.

I agree too. We are going through something similar (a different but risky procedure) for a relative who is 101, and wants us to make the decision. We do have POA, but the relative is of very sound mind, so we don't want to decide for them. It's difficult, isn't it?

AAA operated on as a planned procedure have a far better outcome than those operated on post rupture.