Losing a grandchild

Lewisgran, I have sent you a private message.

Aka sobbing reading your story my grandson died in identical circumstances aged 6 months . lewis was the most lively baby always laughing , he stayed with me on the Friday and was fine had a lovely night together playing with him. sunday morning we got the terrible news Lewis had died . his mum my daughter put him down for the night totally fine nothing yo indicate he was unwell , when she went to get him in the morning he was gone, his dad tried CPR while waiting on ambulance but to no avail our angel was gone. I am so glad I have came across your story as a grandparent I feel I don't know where to turn for help. lewis passed on 22 march , I have been strong for my daughter but I cant stay strong much longer much love from 1 broken hearted grandmother to another xx

Aka - there are no words

There are no words

This moving article appeared recently and says it all about a family's grief.

Thank you again.

I keep trying to answer that question 'why'?

There seems to be no answer.

Oh Aka, how my heart goes out to you and your family. I can say no more as I am choked.

Bless you and I wish you strength.

Thank you Aka for taking the time to share this and raise awareness. What a beautiful little boy Tommy was.
My own grandson was also a Tommy at that age, - he prefers Tom now - I have often said I could cope with most knocks in life, but I am not sure how I would cope with something like this.
I am sorry for such a late comment but I am fairly new to the forum.

I have no words. What terrible challenges you have had to face and are facing. I can only send my very best of wishes.

Many thanks for your kind words and for reading my blog.

Kalexie my heart goes out to you. I feel your anxiety and love in every word you've written. I hope your little grandson's operation is successful and in the meantime cherish every little thing about him. I'm sure you would anyway

Aka I really can't tell you how so very sorry I am for the loss of your precious little grandson. It is indeed every parents/grandparents worst nightmare.

My own little grandson (6 months) has a life threatening heart defect and we are awaiting major corrective open heart surgery in the next couple of months or so. I feel totally overwhelmed by how deeply I love and cherish him and live every day with the terrifying thought of how on earth we would cope if the worst happened and he didn't survive the surgery. But to have that fear suddenly realised totally out of the blue, well I cannot even begin to imagine how devastating that must have been for you all.

There are no words really that are adequate but please know that my heart goes out to you and your family and also to the others who have faced the same loss of a beloved, precious child/grandchild. As others have said, it was very brave of you to share this with us and I sincerely hope that you have found some comfort in doing so.

I cannot really imagine the heavy sadness of losing a child / grandchild. I just know it is a fear that we all live with somewhere in our psyche . Aka it is hard to manage the loss of someone who is older, or been very ill but when it happens so suddenly and with no appparant explanation it is truly shocking. i am sorry for your loss.

I hope that you are able to remember him with lots of love and happy memories.

Thankyou for sharing aka...my thoughts are with you and your family xx

That's what I hold onto Rosesarered.

And the last time I saw him two days earlier when we went 'swimming' together (in a knee deep warm pool) ..he suddenly out of the blue ran across, flung his arms round my neck and gave me a huge kiss.

Oh..now I'm off again just remembering that.

What a tragic story AKA I am so sorry for your loss. It's something we all dread happening, and I hope that telling what happened on here has made it slightly easier for you to come to terms with.If it's any comfort at all, he had a lovely last day with his family, and knew nothing about it, no suffering.So heart breaking for his parents, and you of course.

Aka .. your posting brought back such painful memories. My 2nd daughter would be 36 now. Such a long time, but it still hurts when I read of someone else's experience. I can't believe your son and DIL got so little support. I had none either, but I would have hoped things had improved. Obviously not. Like them, there was no mention of sudden infant death on my baby's death certificate... it was put down as gastroenteritis.... a 6 week-old breast fed baby??? And on that subject - I didn't even get any advice as to how to go about drying up my milk supply. Just a few leaflets shoved in my hand about joining support groups.

I hope that time has healed some of your family's wounds, but although the pain diminishes it never really leaves.

Aka Tommy was a beautiful child, it must have broken your heart to lose him. Plus the pain of seeing your son and daughter in law lose their precious boy.

suzie, Gadabout, cookiemonster, mrsbennett and others who have gone through the grief of losing a child/grandchild you have my deepest sympathy.

Aka Thank you for sharing your very brave blog with us.
My thoughts are with you and anyone else who has lost a child or grandchild in such a shocking way.

This must have been hard for you to share this, Aka, but thank you. I shall cherish every moment I spend with my three year old DGS and be forever thankful that he is here with us. I hope I will also remember that those who have lost someone still need, and want, to talk about them.

Aka

Once more a big thank you to everyone. It means so much, not just to me, but to all the others who've been able to share their sadness on this thread. In our culture death can be a taboo subject, and many people expect you to 'get over it' .
Yes, mrsbennet so often people shy away from talking about the one who has gone, especially if it's a child or young person. But in fact we want to hear their names mentioned as it's an acknowledgement that they did live and were part of our lives, if only for too short a time.
You don't stop loving someone just because they died.

Thank you for sharing your experience aka. My first grandson died at 5 days old. I was so grateful for the time I did have with him, his birth and for those days all in the hospital. I was glad to be there for my daughter and her partner but that was so painful, seeing what they were going through and wanting to help and feeling my own loss too. I know my daughter finds it harder when people pretend it hasn't happened, often with good intentions of not wanting to cause her pain, I know it's less painful for her when Tobias is acknowledged, her son that died when he was so new and small. Oh this precious life

Aka what a brave thing to share with us all. I'm thinking of everyone here who has lost a child. There can be nothing worse.I lost two nephews, one was only 2 days old so as a family we didnt have the chance to know him. The other was 21 and very much loved .

Aka, thank you so much for sharing this with everyone.
My thoughts are with you and your family.

Aka what a heart rending blog, and what a beautiful child Tommy was. I can't imagine the pain you and your family have endured and I'm sure you will all carry Tommy in your hearts forever. There is nothing anyone can say but I would like to send you (((hugs))) and some more (((hugs))) for your son and daughter-in-law.

And to suzied, GadaboutGran, and cookiemonster and all those who have lost a child or grandchild my sincere condolences, and may you find peace and comfort in memories. It has reminded me to cherish my loved ones this Christmas, and to try not to take them for granted, for we are all hostages to fortune.

cookiemonster ...and a big hug back to you. Take care.