Its two months since my lovely daughter died.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Those of us who have not lost a child cannot begin to imagine what it must be like. My sympathies to you and your family.

I lost my son almost two years ago.
Losing a child is the most awful thing ever.
Have lost a husband, dad, relatives,best friend and none of those touched losing a child.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I feel your pain.
Have you found The Compassionate Friends (TCF) online ? It is for bereaved parents and siblings.

Hope you haven't felt let down with us not having kept up with you at this very difficult time.
Even if we don't say anything, I'm sure most of us on this website are thinking about you at this difficult time.

Cath

I've been thinking of you kupari I'm so sorry you've felt so let down by friends. Watching you cope with such sadness may remind your friends that it could just as easily be them in your position and make them feel scared to get too close. I know that may not be a rational or compassionate response but it is what seems to happen sometimes, as well as folk just feeling they don't know what to say and then backing off. Sadly support doesn't always materialise from where we expect it to, but sometimes it comes from new or unexpected sources. I hope others are able to step in and be there for you.

Kupari45 you are in my thoughts. I'm glad to hear you have a wonderful supportive OH. I hope the meal with the family goes well and that there is some comfort for all of you by being together. Let us know how your holiday goes. A little sun will do you good. I don't really know what to say about your friends. It adds to the pain when friends you think you can count on let you down. Your right though some people just can't cope with with such terrible pain. Please don't brood on it. It's their weakness and I'm sure not meant personally. I doubt they realise that they are being cruel.

I do hope your friends will be supportive, you do need them at this time as well as your lovely DH. You have to be strong for the DGC but need to grieve too, and also to remember the happy times.

I know two people who have lost their DD to breast cancer, not that well, but I do feel for them and can feel empathy for them. I do hope people you know will help you through this unbearably sad time.

My heartfelt sympathy is with you. I lost my beautiful younger daughter just over 6 years ago ,aged 33 and the mother of 2 lovely little girls. She was not treated properly for PND ,which then became a psychosis and she took her own life. I miss her every single day ,as does her sister,. The pain remains but life does have to continue ,although never the same.
I know lots of Gransnettters are thinking of you and ,hopefully, giving you some kind of strength to carry on.

Your daughter will always be with you Kupari,she lives in your heart .

I've only just seen your thread Kupari. I have no extra words to add but would like to send you hugs.

So much sadness here, my love to all.

Such heartbreakingly painful reading here.
I can't find the words but just wanted to say my thoughts are with you and sending my love and big hugs x

I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. A quote that has helped my family after losing my 31 year old daughter from accidental carbon monoxide poisoning (six years ago and two months after her wedding) is from Rose Kennedy, who, as we know, lost several children: "It has been said that time heals all wounds. I don't agree. The wounds remain. Time - the mind, protecting its sanity - covers them with some scar tissue and the pain lessens, but it is never gone."
The pain doesn't go but you begin to relish the happy memories/ I think sometimes the hardest part is that my husband and I still want to talk about Katie but some of our friends feel awkward when we do - but we feel that is their problem not ours.

Oh that's just awful downtoearth. I don't know what to say except how sorry I am.
(hugs)

my first DD died of brain damage aged 7 weeks ..painful,,,go forward 22 years and my beautiful 2nd daughter committed suicide due to domestic violence... I feel your pain...

Your words and feelings which you expressed so well, really made me cry. Unless somebody has gone through the same loss they cannot understand how you are feeling but I hope can feel empathy. Sending hugs and sympathy. xx

How sad that your friends didn't understand just how much you needed them that morning. Unless you have been there, it's hard to deal with another person's grief - especially when it's a child, or grandchild.

I feel for your pain. I do.

Someone suggested writing would help. When I lost my grandson I started a diary and wrote to him every single night for over three years. I poured out all my pain and anger and sorrow, and love for him. It helped me. It may not be right for you as we all grieve in our own way, but I offer it as something to consider.

And I send you (((hugs)))

Oh my goodness, I can't tell you all how sorry I am at your loss. My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered in this way. I think the attitude of your friends was awful! Have they never had a bereavement that completely shatters them?! The nearest I've had is my beloved parents both at a relatively early age, one from heart disease and the other from cancer. I can remember after my S father died, going to their house and knocking on the door (why?!!) and of course, no one came, and collapsing into tears. I also lost a much loved cousin, again from cancer. However, I have never lost a child, which is the worse thing that can happen to anyone. I'm just so sorry.

I hope you enjoyed your evening with SIL and the grandchildren Kupari. It is a good way for you all to support each other and share your grief and your memories.

I am really shocked at the behaviour of your 'friends'. Surely if the day had been not a good one for you, it would have been your decision to cancel, not theirs. Probably a lunch with old friends would have helped you regain some sense of getting back to life.

You are being such a brave lady dealing with the pain you must be feeing. I hope you and DH enjoy your holiday and you come back refreshed and able to deal with the effects of your DD's death.

Just wanted to say thank you for all your kind messages of support, you will never know how much they mean to me. On the day I posted I had arranged to meet two friends for lunch, but I got a text at 9a.m. to say they thought it best we arranged for another day, as I would be too upset that day. They have been friends for many years, but cannot handle bereavement.
I just felt at rock bottom that morning, and turned to Gransnet to talk to you.
I have read your messages over and over again, and will do in the following weeks.
Tonight OH and I are meeting up with SIL and the children and going out for a meal. Its a restaurant my DD really enjoyed, but the children are looking forward to tonight, so I shall go and enjoy seeing them, (but I will imagine my DD is with us).
I intend to keep going with the admin work at the animal charity . The staff are all young and full of the joy of life. They dont know about my DD , and I am not going to talk about her. I took particular comfort from those of you who lost loved ones a few years ago, and you have gone on to lead full and active lives.
Once again thank you so much to everyone who took the time to send PM's and kind messages of support. I'm not normally a miserable person, but I'm struggling at the moment, I miss my girl so much.
However I am looking forward to my holiday in the sun in a months time, and having time with my OH who has been great. He is not my daughters father, ( I was divorced when DD was 10 years old.) but loved her as his own.
Will let you know how things are going in a few months.
Brenda

I cannot say anything else than what others have already said, so this is just to let you know I have all my deepest sympathy and hope you will soon start to regain yourself, as I am sure your child would wish of you. You can say, at least he or she nust have enjoyed the short life and will not grow to getting old age pains etc.

Take care

As the mother of two beautiful daughters, my heart breaks for you. Along with all the other gransnetters I sent hugs to you and I know you will be in everyone's thoughts xx

How sad to read kupri45 sad story.i found when I lost my son in 2007 (it was domestic violence) that my friends would avoid me even my own older sister could not be of help and did not want to. My brother was fantastic having lost my lovely sister in law when she was 55 so he knew what it was like to loose some one.i am glad to see you are keeping busy.i and my husband and daughter have a special guardianship for our grandaughter who was 6 when her dad died and is now 15 sadly in the last 2years she has come to understand what her mother has done and is having counselling but she keeps us busy and we are determined to give her the best life we can. My heart goes out to all of you who have lost some one dear or a dear friend my son was a wonderful man I was so proud of him.

Kupari what a moving post! As you can see, so many of us on GN are thinking about you and feeling for you and your family as you all struggle to come to terms with your much loved daughter's illness and death. You know where to come when you need to talk about her and your grief. My heart, like all the posters, goes out to you. Be gentle with yourself. ((Hugs))

My heartfelt sympathy to you and your family. Your friends are like most people, so scared of death they find it hard to dwell on it for long. I know it isn't something one gets over but I wish you well as you cope with it.

On a positive note, you have encouraged me to make my appointment for my mammogram. Thank you kupari.

Do you talk directly to her as you go about doing things? You would know her responses and so this could help. Have you been to the doctors? Thought about seeing a counsellor?

I lost my dad last week and his funeral was today. My son was with me, later went out with his friends. I asked him if they had said anything to him and he said "no, people don't like to talk about death, do they?" And yet it will happen to us all. Maybe again, with a lot of life changes, it needs to be discussed more openly at schools.

Go away and don't feel guilty if you do get upset while you are away. You have taken a step to book something, pack cases, and go. How good is that? And also don't feel guilty if you are having fun and a laugh. We laughed too today, as well as cried. My dad laughed a lot. Grief is a strange one and it's a rollercoaster. Just do what your body is telling you and look after yourself and your darling husband, he sounds like a diamond. Xxx