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Bereavement

My mother died today

(37 Posts)
Angib Mon 27-Feb-17 15:29:58

And I couldn't get to see her and say goodbye. We had been estranged for a little while but were slowly building bridges. She was admitted to hospital overnight and whilst on my way to see her she passed and now I feel so bad.

Christinefrance Wed 15-Mar-17 11:18:22

So sorry Angieb , you did your best and that is all any of us can do. Please take care of yourself now.
flowers

Fourboys Wed 15-Mar-17 11:14:06

Help please
I'm desperate for help with clothes for my dear mums funeral. I'm just about 5 foot tall and due to steroids very bloated especially around my middle, I'm also disabled and a bit bent over so walk with the help of a stick..
I'm terribly insecure especially about my size and would appreciate help on where to buy trousers with tapered legs but elasticated or large waistband.
I do like to look nice and have my hair done every week and also have gel nails done regularly.
There will be many relatives at the funeral who I haven't seen for many years, to add to my low self esteem the rest of the family are stick thin, please please help me

MissAdventure Fri 03-Mar-17 09:43:10

So sorry for your loss. flowers

Cath9 Fri 03-Mar-17 01:19:05

Sorry to hear you were not able to say goodbye, I know how you must feel as I was not able to say goodbye to my late husband.
Take your time and remember the good things that you experienced with your mum

Desdemona Thu 02-Mar-17 18:04:59

Lots of love to you xx

celebgran Thu 02-Mar-17 17:49:29

Sorry went too quick menat to say angib it's great your were building bridges, that must been comfort to your mum hang onto that,

celebgran Thu 02-Mar-17 17:48:32

Sorry angib??

I had wonderful relationship with my mum she died over 30 years ago from cancer, sadly she passed in hospital I have been see her regularly was difficult children were small but i too wished had been with her at end,

However I always did my best for her so no regrets,

Will my estranged daughter have regrets i wonder?
I won't be around to know anyway,

Crafting Wed 01-Mar-17 20:41:27

So sorry for your loss flowers

BlueBelle Wed 01-Mar-17 04:46:33

Angie I think it's so sad for you because with a bit more time you may have bridged the gap but you can in time concentrate on the fact she would have known you were trying

I think we all feel quilty what ever happens with our Mums and Dad I was with both mine but it doesn't stop me beating myself up because I was in such shock I don't think I held my Dad I was sitting right by him but I go back over and over in my mind and I don't think I even held his hand, but why didn't I surely I should have been giving him the comfort of touch I adored my dad but I sat like a statue

When my Nan died ( I had her living with me) I had left her room for an hour to be with the kids downstairs when I went back she had gone and I wasn't with her I couldn't believe that she was always frightened of dying alone

grannyqueenie Tue 28-Feb-17 23:50:58

It's so hard when you've really tried to do the right thing, especially with a tricky relationship. Try not to give yourself too hard a time about it. I moved my, often difficult, mother 400 hundred miles to live closer to me and then managed to be out of town and 100 miles away when she died a year later. I felt hugely guilty, but it's just the way these things happen sometines. flowers

callgirl1 Tue 28-Feb-17 02:03:42

So sorry Angieb

jusnoneed Mon 27-Feb-17 22:23:44

Condolences to you.

Nana3 Mon 27-Feb-17 21:18:29

My sincere condolences angib. Most of us have regrets of some kind when a parent dies, please be kind to yourself and I hope you can get some support from friends and family. flowers

nanasam Mon 27-Feb-17 20:23:56

Be thankful that you were building bridges and not still estranged. You'd've felt really bad if that had been the case. flowers

mumofmadboys Mon 27-Feb-17 20:00:51

Sorry for your loss.When someone dies I think it is normal to have regrets. We all think we could have been more loving or caring or considerate. But that is probably also so for the one who has died. Thank goodness you were building bridges and your relationship was improving. Be kind to yourself.

Angib Mon 27-Feb-17 18:41:06

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

Greyduster Mon 27-Feb-17 18:34:28

I am very sorry for your loss. I couldn't be with my mother when she died either. As others have said you did your best and we can only do what we can do. flowers

Rinouchka Mon 27-Feb-17 18:33:25

Condolences, Angib.
I wasn't there for my mother or my father when they died.
Do not be too hard on yourself. You tried. And also, you were mending bridges, so that is a positive. Remember the love, not the disputes. flowers

Willow500 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:55:57

So sorry for your loss flowers - as others say you were doing your best to get there. It happened to both me and my husband with all our parents - no need for guilt at all.

nanaK54 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:49:02

Thinking of you x

shandi6570 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:15:44

Sorry to hear of your lossflowers

wilygran Mon 27-Feb-17 17:15:14

shysal So comforting to hear this. My aunt told me the same when my mother died & I wasn't able to be there. Angib I hope it will comfort you too. You can only do your best, so try not to feel guilty. I think most of us have regrets when a parent dies, whatever the circumstances and the more complicated the relationship was, the more difficult it seems not to reproach yourself.

Grannybags Mon 27-Feb-17 17:08:02

flowers

Luckygirl Mon 27-Feb-17 17:03:21

angi - I did not make it to my Mum or my Dad when they were dying. I know how you feel. But we can only do what we can do.
I send my condolences. flowers

downtoearth Mon 27-Feb-17 16:59:00

My condolences angib flowers