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My mother died today

(36 Posts)
Angib Mon 27-Feb-17 15:29:58

And I couldn't get to see her and say goodbye. We had been estranged for a little while but were slowly building bridges. She was admitted to hospital overnight and whilst on my way to see her she passed and now I feel so bad.

ninathenana Mon 27-Feb-17 15:33:55

Sincere condolences Angib
Please don't feel bad that you weren't there I wasn't when my mum died either. You were making the effort, it's sad that the timing was bad but it happens.

whitewave Mon 27-Feb-17 15:36:47

Oh angib I am so sorry. You will be able to say goodbye at her funeral

Lona Mon 27-Feb-17 15:38:33

Angib Condolences flowers You were both trying to make things right, so don't feel guilty. I wasn't there when my mum died either.

kittylester Mon 27-Feb-17 15:40:34

Condolences from me too, angi. flowers

My mum died last week and we had a very strange relationship. You were trying your best to be there, you could do no more.

tanith Mon 27-Feb-17 15:46:33

Condolences from me as the others have said you were doing your best to get there. flowers

Teetime Mon 27-Feb-17 15:55:08

angi I am so sorry to hear of your loss. It sounds as though you were doing you best to put things right between you so please don't give yourself a hard time - you did your best. flowers

Antonia Mon 27-Feb-17 16:25:34

I am sorry to read this Angib. There is no need for guilty feelings, you loved each other and that's the important thing. flowers

cornergran Mon 27-Feb-17 16:31:39

Sorry to hear of your loss, angib, what matters is that you would have been with your mother if it was possible. Take care of yourself now.

shysal Mon 27-Feb-17 16:35:40

Condolences from me too angib. flowers Don't beat yourself up over not being there. In my experience the dying often choose to go when they are alone.

Cherrytree59 Mon 27-Feb-17 16:46:52

Condolences angib
My father also died before I made it to the nursing home.
I tried but it was not to be.
Like you I was felt so bad
But the funeral gave me the chance to say my goodbyes as it will you.
It will be two years this Easter and now I just look back with a smile

shysal thank you for that thought.

downtoearth Mon 27-Feb-17 16:59:00

My condolences angib flowers

Luckygirl Mon 27-Feb-17 17:03:21

angi - I did not make it to my Mum or my Dad when they were dying. I know how you feel. But we can only do what we can do.
I send my condolences. flowers

Grannybags Mon 27-Feb-17 17:08:02


wilygran Mon 27-Feb-17 17:15:14

shysal So comforting to hear this. My aunt told me the same when my mother died & I wasn't able to be there. Angib I hope it will comfort you too. You can only do your best, so try not to feel guilty. I think most of us have regrets when a parent dies, whatever the circumstances and the more complicated the relationship was, the more difficult it seems not to reproach yourself.

shandi6570 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:15:44

Sorry to hear of your lossflowers

nanaK54 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:49:02

Thinking of you x

Willow500 Mon 27-Feb-17 17:55:57

So sorry for your loss flowers - as others say you were doing your best to get there. It happened to both me and my husband with all our parents - no need for guilt at all.

Rinouchka Mon 27-Feb-17 18:33:25

Condolences, Angib.
I wasn't there for my mother or my father when they died.
Do not be too hard on yourself. You tried. And also, you were mending bridges, so that is a positive. Remember the love, not the disputes. flowers

Greyduster Mon 27-Feb-17 18:34:28

I am very sorry for your loss. I couldn't be with my mother when she died either. As others have said you did your best and we can only do what we can do. flowers

Angib Mon 27-Feb-17 18:41:06

Thank you all for your kind thoughts.

mumofmadboys Mon 27-Feb-17 20:00:51

Sorry for your loss.When someone dies I think it is normal to have regrets. We all think we could have been more loving or caring or considerate. But that is probably also so for the one who has died. Thank goodness you were building bridges and your relationship was improving. Be kind to yourself.

nanasam Mon 27-Feb-17 20:23:56

Be thankful that you were building bridges and not still estranged. You'd've felt really bad if that had been the case. flowers

Nana3 Mon 27-Feb-17 21:18:29

My sincere condolences angib. Most of us have regrets of some kind when a parent dies, please be kind to yourself and I hope you can get some support from friends and family. flowers

jusnoneed Mon 27-Feb-17 22:23:44

Condolences to you.