Silly and soppy sorry

Oh Annie, I have been away and only just read your latest heartrending posts. I don’t have any words right now to express how sorry I am to read how you've been. You are experiencing a level of pain and loss that most people can't imagine and will never experience.

Please know that I am willing you to get through this. x

Iam, yes I too think my psychologist friend was right, it has certaintly helped me with the hurt . The move did drain me and so much went wrong, never mind, it's over, but taking ages to pick up again. Thank you for your understanding, x

Anniebach, I've just read through this thread and feel sad I didn't see it when it first appeared. I've been away with very intermittent wifi, so been catching up the past few days and somehow missed this one.
It's good that you have seen your GP and emotional/physical exhaustion sounds the right diagnosis. A move of house is in the top ten stressful life events. You have also had loss with family members moving away and the long term continuing sadness about your much loved daughter. You seem to have taken some comfort from the information your psychologist friend gave you. For what its worth, I believe she is absolutely correct. It is often the case that we project the elements of our own personality that we find difficult, on to others. Adult daughters struggling as your daughter has, all too often blame their mothers, projecting the bits of their own personality on their mother. Knowing this doesn't make the pain go away, or excuse the cruelty shown but it does help to make some sense of what in fact, makes no sense.

Anniversaries can catch us out. I'm ten years on from a terrible period in my life. I'd worked hard on acceptance, on creating some emotional distance from the awful events of that time. I was unprepared to be caught out by it again out earlier this year, I felt miserable, depressed, exhausted and ruminated so much on what I could have done differently ten years ago . Be gentle with yourself Annie, give yourself a break and try to get some proper rest x

Thinking of you, Anniebach, and wishing you strength and a quiet mind.

On this thread annie we all care for you and if we could make it better for you we wouldn't hesitate to do so. I know we all hope fervently that things will improve for you and that your daughter regains her health for both your sakes. x

Your love for your daughter shines through your sorrow annie. I can only hope that one day she regains health and you can be close to her again. Stay strong, there are many who care for you, please also care for yourself.

I miss her so much lemon I ache

So sorry about your DD Annie being a parent for life isn't always easy when such tragic circumstances rear up.?
However, you know that you have been a good Mother, and that your DD has an illness.It still hurts of course.
Take care.x

Anya, I know no other way to express myself, must be the Welsh blood . Waiting for blood tests results , still exhausted , hey ho , must climb back x

Annie what more can I add that hasn't already been said by so many on here - and perhaps that in itself has helped.

Your posts touched me, it was so straight from the heart (((hugs)))

Thank you yogagirl, that's really kind of you.

Hope you are feeling better today Anniebach the sun is shinning!

Nigglynellie what a lovely thing to share, your poor mum, and dad

Bless you annie and I do hope you feel more at peace very soon.
Thinking of you. x

niggly, how kind to share that, I know what it means to you and can imagine what it meant to your mother x

Very moving and thought provoking nigglie, all good wishes annie, hope you are feeling a bit better today.

Annie, I found this on the back of a photograph that my mother had sent to my father. I guess it was returned to her with his effects after he was killed. I find it strangely comforting and hope you might too.

Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon, and a horizon is nothing, save the limit of our sight.

Thinking of you with concern in this difficult time.

Thank you all so much, such kindness. May I share this with you because other mothers may have or may have to face a similar experience. I was devasted when my daughter said such cruel things to me and about me. Have discussed it with a psychologist friend , seems it is quite usual for someone with my daughters illnesses to cope with what they feel and hate about themselves to remain in denial and transfer what they cannot cope with onto someone they are closest to, usually a parent.

This has helped heal the hurt. B

Burial? Younger daughter bought a burial plot years ago here, when she emigrated to England , very close to ny husbands grave, as she put it - I will be able to tickle your toes Mum, I had forgotten she had bought it, as I worry my elder daughter would be given a council burial I can choose to be interred with younger daughter and elder daughter with her darling daddy, I bought that plot forty years ago. The four of us will be together , each child with a parent .

Now I have to concentrate on recovering from this eating disorder, get my energy back, fed up of bed rest .

Again, thank you for pulling me through the blackness of last Sunday x

Yes annie i no how you feel Ive had an awful time myself and im still going through it .As we age life gets worse and smaller .I wish you more happuness This too will pass .Be grateful for what you do have .xx

Hope your mood is feeling lighter today ANNIEBACH. Thinking of you.

? Annie, sorry you are having an awful time at the moment, you are overthinking and analysing your situation. All your problems are crowding in on you. You have faith, you must trust that all will be well. We cannot through worry, alter everything, life is not like that. Your Golden Wedding Anniversary, will pass like any other day. When you die, your sole is ageless, the love you felt is to, it will be the reuniting of two living soles, regardless so any arguments that all young people have, with age comes more tolerance, do get kind to yourself as you would others. The problems of old age come at the expense if a long life, everything comes at a cost I'm afraid. You have lots of people that care, why don't you write to your sisters one last time, don't expect an answer, just tell them you care and miss them.

God bless dear Annie, and may The Lord grant you peace.

I'm sorry you are so hurt, annie, you are living through a bleak time in your life with deep pain. Please fight the very understandable impulse to withdraw. Yes, there will be distance with some people you love but there will also be friends and family who miss, love and care about you. Please keep talking to us. We're here for you. As morethan says hold on tight and believe you can feel better. Wishing you a peaceful night and a brighter tomorrow.

Anniebach sometimes there is no fixing things, but still we must find a way to go on - and amazingly, we do. Your faith will remind you that there is One who loves your daughter and always will. You're a strong woman who is allowed to express her weakness sometimes; take heart from so many kindly messages.

Oh Anniebach you really are going through a rough patch, and it is a patch, things will eventually settle. Sometimes the floodgates need to open as yours have so that all the fear and sadness can 'out' I know it's distressing but it's probably cleansing(I'm sorry to sound so Americanised, is that a real word?) we can all only take so much. Please hold on tight and try to believe that you will feel better. For now hold on to the fact that people do care. Try to sleep, listen to somthing boring on the radio until you nod off. Let's hope things don't look so bleak in the morning.

My grandmother was bed ridden - but sharp as tack at 95. My Grandpa had died 20 years before and every day she asked to be with him. She had lunch then sang some hymns with the maid that looked after her. Promptly at 1pm she asked that her hair be brushed and laid on the pillow around her, as she said 'he always loves to see me like that and today he will' she then raised herself off the bed, gave a wonderful smile and said 'it's been a long time' called his name, then fell back and died. It gives me such comfort she believed and I do that he came back to take her over. Your husband will see the 30 year old beauty when you too are reunited. I wish you peace and happiness in your memories..