A widow keeps threatening suicide

Irrational and illogical behaviour, don’t let your kind heart be swayed into thinking that you can help this woman, you can’t. We should only help others who also help themselves.
You need to break free before it drags you down and it sounds like Mental Health Services are obviously in place already, so you have done all that you can.

Phew! Keep your resolve! I wouldn't even answer the door after the last few episodes. But I get where you're coming from as it can be so difficult to keep some people at arms length.
Good Luck

I agree with other posters....she is ill and needs proper professional help. She is not your responsibility but you need to alert social services to take this situation over for her good and yours. Easier said than done, but you need to do it, otherwise she will make your life a misery. You are already feeling guilty about her threats to commit suicide. I feel for you, having been a similar situation myself with my aunt, who behaved in a similar way and was eventually diagnosed with a form of dementia due to the loss of her husband.

There are Happy people in this world who we love to swim alongside, they make us feel good and we make them feel good. Sometimes people are out of their depth and we help to keep their head above water until they can swim for themselves or help arrives. However their are those that cry out for our help but when we try to keep them afloat they kick and pull and rail against us eventually taking us down with them. Sometimes we have to let go for our own survival.

Why would you invite negativity into your life?

If she feels suicidal she has the right contacts to help her with that, you are not her support worker.

Don't open the door to her, let her sort herself out. The crisis intervention team will be aware, if she has spoken to her psychiatrist so no point ringing them, I suspect she has been assessed and they have decided she is not an urgent case. There are so few places in mental hospitals now.

If you get involved you will be bringing future problems to yourself.

Thanks ,everybody

I agree with everyone. Run for the hills.

I can only agree with others, this woman is not your responsibility. You have tried to help her and she now appears to be getting help from professionals. Avoid her - you don't need someone like that in your life.

Good job you came on here and that has strengthened your resolve! You knew you were right just needed a bit of back up. Thank goodness for Gransnet!

That is a good way to describe her.I once had a friend on the Internet until I realised he was a taker and never gave back.
I am too soft hearted

I know!I've seen her every week since he died and she is better than she was but obviously wants to spend her day here and it would make me ill.That is what I must remember.I can't allow it

Thanks.I shall do though my instinct is she is a drama queen.

Thank you.I don't feel so bad as I did about her.I have never
asked someone to stay away before

I agree with others, this person is not your responsibility but she does sound ill. If you ever believe she is about to end her life then you could phone your local mental health crisis team, her GP if you know who that is or dial 999. The responsibility lies with the mental health services, not with you. She sounds very difficult to be with, minimising exposure to her can only be helpful for you.

If she does not stop door thumping, the next time she does it put your coat on and go out, telling her you have to be somewhere and just go.

She is nothing to do with you and it is so rude to be criticising your house etc. She is making you feel miserable and that is not right.

That sounds most unpleasant. When you say your neighbour was a refugee, I wonder if her constant criticism is a cultural thing? I know someone from a N African country who, after decades here, still thinks her younger friends should visit her every day, because that is what happens 'at home'. She gets very offended and dramatic when they say they don't have time to come every day due to work/family commitments.

I'd certainly back off as much as possible, she isn't your responsibility.

Run. She's a user. She'll make you miserable. She has very poor boundaries-thumping on your door when you asked her not to come round?!!! Next time she does it call the police and have her arrested for stalking. Not really, but you could legally.
You've been a good neighbour when you needed to be, let her go and thump on someone else's door.

Hmm - I do not think this lady is your responsibility and it sounds as though the right services have been alerted to help her..