Help p!ease

I am ok. I am determined to go on a cruise later this year to scatter some of his ashes at sea, as he was a keen sub-aqua diver and ocean yacht sailor, and it is a ship we have cruised on a couple of times already, so I would feel quite at home on it. My family would not be surprised! He would be pleased and proud of me for doing it. I am trying to keep busy, but there are many moments of absolute grief....

Sapphire ?

Sapphire , hold onto that , I have for all these years x

It is a privilege to be loved.

Thank you so much for your lovely words of comfort. It's going to be difficult few weeks as there are anniversaries coming up. Our anniversary next week, then a week later my birthday, and DH's birthday next month. I will get through them. What is the saying? Grief is the price you pay for love ; but I am so glad I had his love. I loved and was loved.

Sapphire, you feared you would be sick or have a panic attack but you didn't x . You will experience days when your grief is torture , you will have days of sadness, of longing. It really is taking one day at a time. My husband died over forty years ago, I am now old he is still young , I still have times when I long for his love , when I don't have to face things alone , but these times are not frequent and there is no raw grief. I am thankful I had eight years of marriage to a wonderful man, I wanted more just as those who were married for a long time wanted more. Your pain will ease my love and we are here for you X

Thank you for that poem, Maw, I shall save that.

Thank you for that poem, Maw, I shall save that.

Well done for getting through this day.

You’ve already survived so much more than you thought possible and you will go on doing just that. Every time you wobble remember the last hurdle you overcame.
Keep on posting and remember lots of people are here to listen x

There will be better days and there will be worse days.
I wish I could say it gets better but it doesn’t, nothing can make it “better” , however you will find that you become better equipped to deal with it.
I liked the sentiments of this poem/prayer saying that death is but a horizon and a horizon just the limit of what we can see.
We give them back to thee, dear Lord, who gavest them to us
Yet as thou dost not lose them in giving, so we have not lost them by their return
Not as the world giveth, givest thou, O Lover of Souls
What thou gavest, thou takest not away
For what is thine is ours also if we are thine
And Life is eternal and Love is immortal, and death is only an horizon, and an horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.
Lift us up, strong Son of God, that we may see further
Cleanse our eyes that we may see more clearly
Draw us closer to thyself so that we may know ourselves to be nearer to our loved ones who are with thee
And while thou dost prepare a place for us, prepare us also for that happy place, that where thou art we may be also for evermore.

(Prayer used by Fr Bede Jarrett, O.P.)
Written by William Penn (1644 – 1718

One day at a time ?

Yesterday was a very bad day, I stayed up till about 3am just crying and missing him. But today I'm feeling not too bad. Walked up to the garden centre this morning and bought some primroses to go in an empty pot. Felt a bit tearful. This afternoon daughter and son-in-law picked me up and we took DH's cousin to Heathrow to get his flight back to Australia. Cousin had come over specially for the funeral, first time back here for nearly 40 years; he and DH were brought up as brothers. Had some lasagne and a couple of glasses of wine! So, got through another day.

Bless you. Xxxx

yes well done Saphire many of us share your yearning to see our loved ones back where they should be...sitting in their favorite chair or place...it is painful.

Hope you will keep posting, so many lovely people on here who helped me when I needed it.

Well done for getting through it Blue45Sapphire - so many of us on here were thinking of you.

He is there in your heart and always will be - your shared love is a part of you now and nothing can take that away from you.

Thank you all so much. Yes, I got through it with all our family there, and only cried during the hymn, which was one of our wedding hymns. I told myself that it wasn't him in that box and that his spirit and memory are with us all. But oh, I cried my eyes out when everyone had gone to bed last night, I just want him back so much. I have had so many invitations out and so many offers of help and our family has been wonderful but all I want is to see him sitting in his usual place on the sofa. Just trying to keep going for his sake, as he would have wanted me too.

Thinking of you today and so glad you have such helpful support from your brother.

'An earlier bus' - what a nice way of saying it Bluegal.

My thoughts are with you today. .

Thinking of you today.

You will get through it. You may even feel yourself laughing and crying at same time. Just go with whatever you want. Don't feel there is anything you should be doing/showing/ feeling. Its 18 years since my first husband died (young) Thought I would never cope........something guides you, something keeps you strong........ There are no rules on grief or procedure. All I can say is you will get stronger day by day and moving on doesn't mean you are being disloyal or you forget...

My husband died unexpectedly, but my best friend died of cancer the same year....she told me to stop my tears and enjoy life because she was only getting an earlier bus! So true....

You will be in my thoughts tomorrow.

I had this eighteen months ago and had exactly the same fears. However, on the day I was calm and controlled. Yes, I cried during the service (helped by the minister who looked across at me struggling and said, "Let it go."). There is a sort of protection mechanism that kicks in and helps you through.
You are lucky to have your brother leading the service. I am sure that will help.
Take care. Prayers and hugs

I will be thinking of you too tomorrow sapphire.