Gransnet forums


my First grandchild on the way.....

(10 Posts)
Glamdram Fri 06-Apr-18 20:46:03

My first grandchild is on the way. Happy happy me.
Grandchild is child of my son and DIL . They were married last Sept. glorious wedding.
My sons dad died tragically whe he was 8 . I was left with son and daughter ....aged 4 ....all soo very very sad and tragic.

This first expected grandchild has bought lots of emotions up for me. I am re married now a fab husband ...who has been fantastic to my 2 children . He too was a widower and has experienced stillbirth with his late children from him and he and I decided that we wouldn’t hVe children .
It’s difficcult at the moment as I know he has gone back to the past when he was an expectant dad......and I have gone right back to the past and feel how lovely my first husband would be feeling at this moment knowing his beloved son( who we waited 6 years to have ) would feel right now.

Life is cruel....we all know that .

I feel so alone at the moment with my thoughts of first husband.

aggie Fri 06-Apr-18 20:51:00

Please hug you husband and assure him he will be Grandad , don't be sad at this happy time

annsixty Fri 06-Apr-18 20:57:18

I was just about to type those words aggie look forward ,not back, you are in for a wonderful experience and so is your husband.
If he is involved all the way through, it will truly be his grandchild. Congratulations to you all, I hope for a happy outcome for you all.

gillybob Fri 06-Apr-18 21:14:07

Glamdram . My 2 children’s fathers both died years ago ( 2 different fathers) Very different situations . My darling husband has brought both of my children up as his own . We decided not to have a child together. Why would we need to ? We have 3 grandchildren ( my sons ) and another one due very soon ( my daughter ) . My lovely husband is their grandad . He adores them and they adore him . smile

Feel free to PM me if you want more details . x

cornergran Fri 06-Apr-18 21:31:48

I think glamdram it’s inevitable that that this wonderful event will trigger ‘what if’ and sadness for what might have been. It’s very understandable. Having said that please don’t let it overwhelm the joy and become a barrier between your lovely husband and the grandchild you will share. This is something you will be part of together. Wishing you all happy times. .

Glamdram Fri 06-Apr-18 22:06:25

I don’t know how to pm !!!!

Anniebach Fri 06-Apr-18 22:19:46

Glamdram, been where you are now but I never remarried. Our daughters were 5 and 7 when their adored daddy died. I brought them up on my own, found their weddings did bring a longing to share these times with my husband . When our first grandson was born I found it brought back such an ache , I sat in the maternity wing sitting room and waited on my own, as soon as grandson was born my son in law called me into the Labour Ward, such emotions , then my darling daughter eyes filled with tears said I wish Daddy could be here with you to see him. Then we dried our eyes and moved on, it was difficult but you won't be sitting alone and the feelings you experienced will pass, I coped by saying to my husband ' look at our grandson ' not aloud, and I felt I was sharing this wonderful moment with him. It's a new life and your husband lives on.

I send you hugs x

cornergran Fri 06-Apr-18 22:20:48

Just click on the private message box at the top of Gilly’s post Glamdram. You’ll be able to send a message then.

Cabbie21 Fri 06-Apr-18 23:05:58

It is raw emotion for both you and your husband, for different reasons.
Hopefully once the new baby is here all will be well, but at the moment he is recalling the mixed emotions he must have felt when his first wife was expecting, then she miscarried, so don’t expect too much enthusiasm from him just yet.
Even when the baby is here he might not manage to actually feel he is Grandad. I speak from experience as my DH is not really very involved with my grandchildren (his choice), even though we were together long before they were born.

Sorry if you feel I am dampening your enthusiasm. I am just advising you to be careful, in case, for him, it is too much to take on board.
Obviously you will have sadness and so will he. I do hope it all comes right for you all.

phoenix Sat 07-Apr-18 00:10:54

Please, be glad for what you have, and what you are about to have, i.e a grandchild. Acknowledge the past, but accept that you can't change it.

Sending your whole family every good wish.