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Mixed feelings

(9 Posts)
ninathenana Thu 20-Sep-18 09:00:49

DH's sister died yesterday.
The saddest part of all is that if DD wasn't friends with our niece on FB we would never have known.
SiL cut herself off from all DH's family many years ago. I have informed his other sister who understandably says she feels nothing except sadness of the situation rather than the loss of her sister and DH feels the same.

Teetime Thu 20-Sep-18 09:01:45

It is sad and brings back so many memories. flowers

ninathenana Thu 20-Sep-18 09:07:45

Sorry Teetime flowers

gmelon Thu 20-Sep-18 09:31:58

This can bring up some very odd feelings. If your husband grew up in the same household there will be memories.
In my own experience I was oddly shocked in many ways.
My sister died 2yrs ago aged 56. She too cut herself off . In our lives she had spoken to me less than a dozen times and that includes our childhood.
I had many feelings, various and unexpected.
Your husband may be surprised at his reaction. I wish you the best.

gmelon Thu 20-Sep-18 09:36:50

Also to add to my above message.
I didn't know she was dead until a mutual aquitance mentioned it. She was already dead and buried a month since.
Still though.....i had lots of odd feelings.

Be understanding and kind, as I'm sure you are.

ninathenana Thu 20-Sep-18 11:21:08

gmelon thank you.

They grew up a happy family all under one roof mum, dad, DH and two sisters. All children married and had families. SiL fell out with their mum when her children were young (25 yrs ago) and hadn't spoken to any family since. Not even aunts/uncles cousins.

Teetime Thu 20-Sep-18 11:47:25

ninathenana I meant for you sweetie xx

kittylester Thu 20-Sep-18 15:13:04

What an odd situation nina. I expect it will take a while for DH to get to the other side of this as different emotions will pop up every so often. flowers

Starlady Sat 29-Sep-18 16:12:47

Nina, I'm sorry for the loss of your sil and the odd situation that has arisen because of this. Imo, you need to accept your dh's feelings and respect them as they are. If, eventually, the grief hits him, I'm sure you'll be there for him. But otherwise, please leave this alone. It may be that he mourned the loss of her in his way years ago when he realized the cut off was going to be permanent. He and his other sister may not really feel as if they lost a sister at this point.