My sincerest sympathies for your sad, sad losses.
Something I have felt since losing DH almodt exactly a year ago is that whatever you feel like doing, is right for you.
There are no hard and fast rules about grieving and mourning. In fact for me, things got worse instead of better as the rest of the world got back to turning and just because I wasn’t in floods of tears in public, the assumption was that I was “getting over it”
Some people said some incredibly silly things to me, albeit kindly meant, but the best “advice” I had from a doctor was that where she grew up in N London, the Jewish tradition was to do nothing for the first year, make no major decisions or changes, feel under no pressure to do anything I didnt want to, feel no guilt if I found I was actually enjoying something, and feel no pressure to “move on”
Get past all the “firsts” -birthdays, anniversaries , Christmas, Easter etc then on the first anniversary be together with loved ones, set the stone (if appropriate) remember the dead and celebrate their life.
Then, and only then, think about the rest of your life if and when you feel ready
I can honestly say that it was as if a burden had lifted off my shoulders and now, 1 year and 1 week on, I mourn DH no less but feel a peace of mind which will enable me to go on living.
We are all different and grief is not something to “get through” as if there is a rainbow on the other side, but we do become more able to bear the loss.