Two months ago my son’s partner died suddenly. She had had a sub arachnoid haemorrhage (brain). Although they weren’t married, my son had finally proposed and they were to marry next year. They had been together 17 years and had 3 sons. 11, 6 and 3. My son tried desperately to revive her not knowing she had died instantly and nothing could be done. He is, understandably, bereft. I do worry about suicide and try to help as much as i can.
The major problem is her mother and brothers. The mother was always very controlling and possessive and now believes she has the right to keep the boys. She has the eldest one at her house and has completely turned him against his Dad. We believe and so do his teachers, that she’s convinced him his Dad killed his Mum. As they weren’t married she has taken over everything and emptied the bank accounts, sorted the funeral ( which didn’t take place until 9 weeks had passed) and generally been nothing short of evil to my son. I believe she would love nothing more than to drive him to his grave. All this came about after social services informed her my son had parental responsibility and he would make all decisions regarding the boys. He had to stop the youngest two visiting her as they weren’t returning until she said they could and when they did, they were saying he wasn’t their real Dad as they weren’t married, and i wasn’t part of the family and wasn’t their grandma. There is so much this woman has done and one morning one of the uncles arrived at my son’s st 6am shouting obscenities and trying to kick the door in. My son has done nothing wrong - he and his partner had a happy relationship with no falling out or violence but he never liked the mother but was always civil and allowed her to have far too much involvement in his children’s lives (in my opinion).
The funeral was an exercise in spite and my son was kept in the dark but was told by friends when it was. He wasn’t allowed to carry the coffin and wasn’t mentioned at all. It was as if he didn’t exist in his late partner’s life at all when, in fact, he was the love of her life. He is a broken man and is doing his very best for the two boys he has under rxtremely trying circumstances.
Thankfully, the mother is such a dreadful woman that all professionals are now firmly on my son’s side as they have had to deal with her lies and demands. Christmas Eve court papers arrived as she is making a bid for custody of the boys and the hearing is New Year’s Eve. As everyone will probably be very hard to get hold of before then we are worried how this will go as he will probably have to defend himself.
Sorry for such a long post but it’s been so awful and shows no sign of stopping.
tickingbird Wed 26-Dec-18 11:13:37
EllanVannin Wed 26-Dec-18 11:23:13
Luckygirl Wed 26-Dec-18 11:24:28
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ninathenana Wed 26-Dec-18 14:27:08
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FarNorth Wed 26-Dec-18 14:35:16
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StillGame Wed 26-Dec-18 15:14:30
tickingbird Wed 26-Dec-18 15:45:27
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glammanana Wed 26-Dec-18 16:13:19
Eglantine21 Wed 26-Dec-18 16:19:32
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Coolgran65 Wed 26-Dec-18 19:15:18
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tickingbird Wed 26-Dec-18 20:44:21
Eglantine21 Wed 26-Dec-18 21:46:34