sodapop some do such things in the anger grief can cause, it’s all so sad
Your poor DS what an awful situation. Yes, the mother is grieving but this is on a different level.
If it comes to him needing proof of parentage a DNA test is a fairly simple process these days. I hope it dosen't come to this, the fact that he and his partner had a long term stable loving relationship you would think would make it unnecessary though.
He does need to contact his bank asap.
Comments about normal reactions to her daughters death are frankly heartless and ridiculous - this is a well established family unit she is wanting to destroy. Also tell your ds to get onto the banks - she had absolutely no right to any of the money unless entitled after probate had been granted.
The couple were living together happily and bringing up their sons together until his wife partner died.
It will be very difficult for the deceased's mother to claim custody, but legal advise is urgent. There should be a presumption in favour of the father
Google 'Emergency legal aid' and the name of your local reasonably sized town. This should give you the names of legal companies who can help your son.
One of the natural feelings following a sad sudden death like that is anger. Who to blame?
This must be such a difficult situation for everyone in the midst of their grief. The children need to be reassured that you still love them and will support them tickingbird .
I can't imagine how hurt your son is by all this he needs you too.
Anniebach I understand what you are saying about grief but this has gone beyond that and is very spiteful.
Did he sign the birth register do you know? Not just named on it, but went to register the birth?
Since 2003 this is crucial to establishing parental responsibilities.
A mother is grieving for her daughter, doubt she is thinking straight , everyone is in shock and struggling with their grief
He does need legal advice and I am sure there is a way of getting that before the hearing, in spite of the bank holidays. A close relative of mine is battling to get an appointment with a solicitor in time for a court hearing and is just simply not giving up.
It is very unlikely indeed that this woman would get custody, especially as the statutory services have seen her for what she is.
But it will be very hard over the future months to deal with the emotional fall-out to grieving children of the messages she has been manipulating them with. I am sure that you have a role to play in this aspect and send you good wishes in dealing with this challenge.
This is so typical when there's a death in the family except yours comes with the added complications.
The father of the children has more of a say in this matter and it would serve him well to get a good solicitor/barrister in the New Year.
It's shocking to think that people can behave in this way at such a time, but as I say, I've been through it all but not involving small children just spiteful adults.
Hello
Two months ago my son’s partner died suddenly. She had had a sub arachnoid haemorrhage (brain). Although they weren’t married, my son had finally proposed and they were to marry next year. They had been together 17 years and had 3 sons. 11, 6 and 3. My son tried desperately to revive her not knowing she had died instantly and nothing could be done. He is, understandably, bereft. I do worry about suicide and try to help as much as i can.
The major problem is her mother and brothers. The mother was always very controlling and possessive and now believes she has the right to keep the boys. She has the eldest one at her house and has completely turned him against his Dad. We believe and so do his teachers, that she’s convinced him his Dad killed his Mum. As they weren’t married she has taken over everything and emptied the bank accounts, sorted the funeral ( which didn’t take place until 9 weeks had passed) and generally been nothing short of evil to my son. I believe she would love nothing more than to drive him to his grave. All this came about after social services informed her my son had parental responsibility and he would make all decisions regarding the boys. He had to stop the youngest two visiting her as they weren’t returning until she said they could and when they did, they were saying he wasn’t their real Dad as they weren’t married, and i wasn’t part of the family and wasn’t their grandma. There is so much this woman has done and one morning one of the uncles arrived at my son’s st 6am shouting obscenities and trying to kick the door in. My son has done nothing wrong - he and his partner had a happy relationship with no falling out or violence but he never liked the mother but was always civil and allowed her to have far too much involvement in his children’s lives (in my opinion).
The funeral was an exercise in spite and my son was kept in the dark but was told by friends when it was. He wasn’t allowed to carry the coffin and wasn’t mentioned at all. It was as if he didn’t exist in his late partner’s life at all when, in fact, he was the love of her life. He is a broken man and is doing his very best for the two boys he has under rxtremely trying circumstances.
Thankfully, the mother is such a dreadful woman that all professionals are now firmly on my son’s side as they have had to deal with her lies and demands. Christmas Eve court papers arrived as she is making a bid for custody of the boys and the hearing is New Year’s Eve. As everyone will probably be very hard to get hold of before then we are worried how this will go as he will probably have to defend himself.
Sorry for such a long post but it’s been so awful and shows no sign of stopping.
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