Golden Wedding Anniversary

Just reporting back now that sister's Anniversary is nearly here. I bit the bullet and phoned her son and daughter, neither of whom had given the anniversary a thought but both thanked me for the head's up and said they would talk to each other and decide what to do.

Yesterday, being DH's day at day care, I treated Sister to lunch in her current favourite restaurant and gave her an exotic Golden houseplant. We chatted about her wedding and honeymoon and all the funny things that happened then.

She told me that out of the blue her son had suggested taking her out for dinner on Friday and her daughter had invited her to go up to stay with her and the DGC for a long weekend - a very rare occurrence, her DD said part Anniversary, part Mother's Day treat. She said she was incredibly touched that they had remembered (I just agreed that it was wonderful) as they are usually not good about marking events, and she was glad she would not be spending these days alone.

Thank you all for your suggestions, which have led to this happy conclusion.

I lost my husband after 53yrs I was with him 4yrs before we got married it would have been our golden wedding six months after he passed but I couldn’t celebrate at the time without him, it was nice though that my family thought of me on the day and remembered that it would have been our anniversary.

September will bring what would have been out GW if we hadn't divorced after 25 tears.
After a few ups n downs we're quite good friends, including his wife of 10 years. With shared AC and DGC we'll probably have a drink together.
It is so different when you have so many happy years together and find yourself wondering how to acknowledge the date.
Friends this week celebrated 60 years. She is my son's godmother and they are the 'other GPS' of my 2 wee ones.
Sadly the relationship of their DS and my DD didn't last!

This year will be our golden one but we are going away just the two of us.

My grand MiL lost her DH a few weeks before what would have been their 50th. We were the only people who gave her a present and she said she loved getting it. No one else knew what to do.

I hope you share a nice time with your sister.

I would say flowers too. Get a florist to mix a nice bunch.

This year on April 19th it will be the 50th anniversary of our first date, and I shall certainly be remembering it, as it was the day before my birthday! Sadly DH died last year, so will not be here to share it with me, but I have many happy (and funny) memories of that day. I have something planned to do. I think all the above ideas are great and would dearly love my family to do any of them.
Our Golden Wedding would have been in three years, and hope to do something special to mark it. I love any excuse to talk about DH and to remember the good times and would not want anyone pussyfooting around me for fear of upsetting me.

I think it’s lovely that Granny23 is being so thoughtful. However, I don’t think you should be tiptoeing around the subject too much. All this ‘carefully worded’ stuff mIght come across as a bit over the top. Your sister will be pleased you have remembered her special anniversary. Not a lot of point asking her what she wants to do either, as until the day she wont know how she feels. Speak to her DD and say you’re thinking of taking her DM out for a pub lunch to mark the day. Ask if she would like to come with you and go with a big bunch of flowers . Take champagne back to her house and maybe look through the old wedding phitos. Bitter sweet day for everyone.

As said, it isn't a celebration but would be good if a gesture to mark the anniversary is made. The golden flowers or an afternoon tea just to chat about the day and memories seem good. Wouldn't make it a grand occasion as after all a very important part of the anniversary is missing.

I am sure she would appreciate you acknowledging the day, She will certainly remember herself and will appreciate it if you remember too. A bouquet of flowers and an offer to spend the day with her, take her out to lunch or something similar would be a great comfort. Give her the opportunity to tell you how she would like to mark the day and don’t be offended if she says she would rather spend the day quietly at home by herself.

I agree with others that a special bunch of flowers,or a quiet meal out,if your sister would enjoy that. .,
My late SIL ,many years ago, still held a family party on what would have been her Golden Wedding. It was good in that it got my late DH’s family together -a rare event now as we have lost several members . That’s not for everyone ,I guess, but she seemed to enjoy seeing everyone and feeling there was at least a family celebration that day.

Our best man and, with his wife, our closest friends, died three years before their GW. Both couples married within months of each other.

We took our friend out to dinner to celebrate the anniversary and remember our loss. We bought her a beautiful card with a blank page inside for our personal message plus some flowers.

Three weeks later she joined us to celebrate our GW

Granny23 - my friend has just celebrated her Golden Wedding Anniversary, widowed 5 years ago so we bought her a rose tree which was called Golden Wedding, purchased at our Garden Centre. She was very pleased with her gift, and we were pleased that she was happy with it.

We didn’t quite make it to our 30th anniversary as my husband died a few months before suddenly at 51. My son and daughter arranged to take me for lunch to mark the day. We also took my granddaughter to the animal corner at the park. It was both happy and sad but lovely to get together and talk about my husband.

My sister and I have always been close, so I know that she is troubled about what to do re the GW anniversary. Neither her son nor her Daughter have made any mention of it so far. She does not know if they are making secret plans, have decided it is best left unmarked or have simply forgotten all about it.

I have made a point of not interfering in the family politics of my sister's family which have been fraught since her DD's divorce, when my sister maintained friendly relations with her DD's ex. I eventually told her that I thought she was wrong to do so, which resulted in a coolness for some time. However I am wondering now if a carefully worded message to her DD to see if they have any plans for the day might be the way to proceed, before I do anything.

I would have a heart to heart with her, and explain you wouldn't want to upset her but would enjoy doing something special to mark the occasion with her.
Perhaps visiting a special place they had, where they met or married. Perhaps a stay overnight, and a special meal. Let her remember the happy times while holding her hand x

On what would have been my dear Aunties Ruby wedding anniversary, my Uncle had died two years before, I bought a lot of red coloured plants and planted them up in two lovely planters. She was a keen gardener, as was mu Uncle, and she loved them. She cried when I gave them to her and told me Uncle would have loved them too. They were given several presents by friends and family but she told me my gift was her favourite as she sat in the garden in the evening with a glass of wine, looking at them and thinking of her husband. If she has lost her husband would she appreciate going on a weekend break with you?

As suggested flowers would be a nice gesture and a cream tea.

You sound close to your sister, so I think you should ask her whether she wants to mark the day or not. Tell her you would like to do something special for her on the day, but try to find out what she would like.

If she says, she doesn't want to mark the day, go along with that, though if she were my sister I would buy her a little present and give it to her a few days after her wedding anniversary.

MawBroon to the happy years Maw! ???????

My mum was widowed after 45 years. She never mentioned her anniversary after that but I took her a bunch of yellow/gold flowers on the date of their 50th and she really appreciated them. We spent the afternoon reminiscing. I’m glad I didn’t let it pass unmarked

Have you thought of taking her out for a Cream tea to give her the opportunity of being with family and celebrating her marriage?

It always makes me sad when someone says ‘it would have been my Anniversary today’ but they have no one to talk to about the significant date.

Had my husband not walked out on me, it would have been our GW this year. I have decided that I will mark the occasion (celebrate is not the right word) by taking my daughter and family out for a meal and hope I will be able to enjoy it.

I think the idea of a special bouquet is lovely. It is, after all, not a celebration. It is now about remembering a special person.

Your sister obviously got married on the same day as me OP. In my case, DH walked out after 26 years, leaving me with two teenagers.
We've managed to remain civil (mainly, I must admit, for the sake of the AC & DGC) but I too will be marking Brexit day with a strong sense of what might have been...
The suggestions above are lovely and I'm sure that your sister will really appreciate your kindness and thoughtfulness.

A meal and some flowers to let her know you are thinking of her.