Hello, everyone, Newbie here!
When my father died, my family wanted to really push the boat out for his funeral. Mum was happy to go along with it, but when she read the invoice afterwards, was shocked by how much everything cost, especially the coffin. She had a lot of questions about the cremation, so I looked into it for her. I discovered if you read the bumph, the handles are usually described as "brass effect" and are, in fact, plastic. She also wondered what actually happened during and after the actual cremation, which I managed to find out, to her great satisfaction. ( Shan't talk about it here, but will happily answer any questions I can). She thought spending so much on a coffin which was going to be burnt was a waste of money, so we made sure she had the cheapest one in the catalogue when it was" her turn to go". She did say she would have liked a wicker coffin, but not when she found out the price of them. I'm glad to see most major funeral directors now offer what is called a simple funeral, with no fancy trimmings. Mum would have approved and so do I.
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Bereavement
I an a bit worried about putting this in the Bereavement section as at this moment in time we are not bereaved.
So apologies to anyone who is at present suffering a bereavement.
My MIL is now sadly receiving palliative care, after what the hospital calls a large seizure.
We have been told that the end is near, but could be days or a couple of weeks.
Tomorrow we are going to our local funeral director to purchase a prepaid funeral in order to carry out the express wishes of my MIL.
Which is in her words is -No fuss, basic coffin and No flowers'.
'Cremation'
My MIL was a salt of the earth, hard-working woman.
She lived through hard times and every penny counted.
She did not believe in squandering money,
However she was extremely generous to her son and grandchildren.
As the saying goes 'she would give you the shirt off her back'.
This is unknown territory for me as my Mother's funeral was long time ago and my father had made arrangements.
So tonight I have been quietly googling and was surprised to read about the different quality coffins available including brass silver or gold handles etc.
My question is why?
It's either going on the ground as with my parents or as with my MIL it will be cremated (not sure what happens the coffin metal adornments presumably they just melt)
I was a bit concerned with how basic my husband mother's wishes were, but I am now of the same mind and in the near future DH and I will discuss our own arrangements.
What do GNers think?
(I completely understand that it is up to the individual to spend their money how they see fit)
As have I am sure many GNers, I have attended several funerals, but never once have I looked coffin and thought about the choice of wood or handles and considered whether it was basic model or no expense spared.
They are often covered in flowers anyway.
(DH and I will organise catering at a local venue for family and friends.)It would seem that tomorrow is now today 
cherrytree
Thank you all for your thought provoking posts.
I have read some of them out my DH.
My mother in law passed away peacfully last night.
We are blessed, we watched a lovely peaceful lady lying in hospital bed pain free.
After suffering years of agitation caused vascular dementia.
The hospital had nursed my Mil for 3 weeks.
They have been truly wonderful.
She was in her own room in NHS hospital with lilac curtains (her favourite colour) gently blowing in the breeze.
The spring sunshine streamed through the window.
I will rejoin the thread later if I may. After we have done what is necessary.
Esspee
I would like to PM you over the coming days if I may.
Harris27 My sincere condolences.
I have to (respectfully) take issue with your posts of yesterday Jura.
Not all undertakers are anything like what you say is your experience and not all funerals the ecological disaster you quote. I can’t comment on cremations but that was my parents’ wish 20+ years ago and I respected that
However Paw had expressed a wish during one of his later periods in hospital, when things looked indeed bleak, to be buried in our local Green burial ground. At the time though it was full and no further reservations could be made so I told him he had jolly well get better and make it home again.
Sadly, 6 months later there was no longer that option as he was readmitted as an emergency. When he died I was at a loss as he had, as a devout Catholic, explicitly stipulated he wanted to be buried and I hate municipal cemeteries. Fortunately we live in a beautiful village with a 12th century church and a lovely churchyard overlooking the fields around the village.
Our local undertakers could not have been more helpful. There was absolutely no pressure regarding any of the arrangements. (The woman we spent most of the time talking to lives just across the village green from me and it all felt very neighbourly)
The simplest possible oak coffin (no knobs or twiddles, just a carved cross on the lid) - I rejected the wicker option as they reminded me too much of picnic hampers - a natural linen lining and a country churchyard burial. My SIL who sculpts in wood has made an elegant but simple cedar wood “grave marker”(from an offcut) until the Cumbrian slate stone I have chosen is completed and crocuses, daffodils and pansies now grow on my husband’s grave. Departed friends and neighbours lie within yards of him.
I walk up there with Hattie every day and can talk to him in my heart. It is as natural as we could have chosen and he is still at home here in our village.
There are worse places to spend eternity.
My coffin is dark blue with a gold and maroon frieze around it.
The lid has an outline of New Zealand about 30cm long with a Yorkshire Rose in the middle of the North Island.
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