Gransnet forums

Bereavement

Going back

(6 Posts)
lure1959 Sun 07-Apr-19 15:54:45

MY daughter asked me if i would like a trip to lake Windermere last friday .It was where me and my DW got wed many years ago.looking up the hill at the bellsfeild hotel gardens lush and green. I could see us both all over again such a lovely day. To day i have cried all day in the garden cooking dinner some times i feel guilty for living and even eating. ONE step forward Two steps back the most guilty thing is i am finding it hard to bond with my grandaughter she was born 6days after my DW passed

Maggiemaybe Sun 07-Apr-19 16:10:38

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, lure1959. flowers

Poppyred Sun 07-Apr-19 16:42:25

Very sorry for your loss lure1959. Sounds as if it’s very early days. Things will get better but it will take time. I’m sure your granddaughter will bring you joy as all children do. Xx

sodapop Sun 07-Apr-19 17:17:58

So sorry lure1959 it does sound like a recent loss so don't try to rush things. It takes time to work through the grief of losing a partner and it is as you say one step forward and two back for a while. Don't struggle with your feelings for your granddaughter they will come if you just relax about it,
Take care.

Septimia Sun 07-Apr-19 18:41:04

Maybe it was a bit soon for this trip. On the other hand, it's probably one of those things that you need to do at least once before you can start to get over your grief. The tears were probably beneficial, too, although you might not feel that they were at the moment. As for your granddaughter, as has been said, don't rush the relationship. It's likely that you will grow fonder of her as she grows and develops her character.

M0nica Sun 07-Apr-19 19:22:55

lure Take your time. Revisits like this can be grief inducing, but cathartic.

Do not worry about not bonding with your grand daughter. To be honest small babies can be rather boring initially, especially when you are so wrapped in grief as you are at present. Just leave it. One day she will open her eyes and smile at you and reach out to you and you will be able to see in her what she has inherited from her grandmother and you will be her devoted slave.